Page 64 of Hard Rock Desires
“You’re the one who was sulking for days over that chick,” he said. “I’m just saying out loud what everyone else is thinking.”
“You don’t even know her,” I said. “It would be bad enough if I thought you might have been flirting with her for real, but if you’re going to act like an asshole—”
“It’s not being an asshole to tell the truth,” Finn interrupted. “She’s already run out on you twice before. I think you should stay away from her.” Finn pointed at me using the edge of his toast. “Did you know she was going to go off on that guy like that? What if that’s the kind of thing she does all the time? You don’t want to start dating a crazy person. Maybe you should have done some more background research when you were stalking her.”
“Thanks for the advice,” I said flatly. “Maybe you should lay off the Champagne next time.”
“The only reason to go to those stupid events is for the Champagne,” Finn said. “If your girlfriend wasn’t such a stick-in-the-mud maybe she would have enjoyed a few drinks, too. Hell, maybe she wouldn’t have freaked out on the guy if she’d been having a little more fun.”
“You don’t need to drink to have fun, Finn.”
“Do you even hear the words coming out of your mouth right now?” he asked.
“Enjoy your toast,” I said. “I’m sure it’s helping with your raging hangover.”
I brushed past him without another word, heading up the spiral staircase to the third floor where my bedroom was. I didn’t slam the door, but I shut it firmly enough that he must have heard it from downstairs.
Finn and I rarely fought. We joked with each other and had play-fights, sure, but nothing that ever actually meant anything. We never got angry with each other. This was the first time in a long time that I could remember actually being pissed off at him.
But it wasn’t the first time I’d woken up to find him with a bottle of aspirin and a glass of water, smelling of women’s perfume the day after an event.
Maybe Grace had a right to be worried. All the drinking and the parties, all the women and stupid antics, all of it was standard rock star lifestyle. It was the kind of thing Grace hated, the kind of thing she avoided.
I didn’t blame her. After what had happened with her sister, it only made sense that she would be wary.
I clenched my fists and threw myself down on my bed. I stared up at the ceiling.
Grace told me that she had been seeing red flags throughout our entire relationship. If you could even call this a relationship. I had no idea what to call this thing between us. But that didn’t stop me from feeling a twinge of something in my chest when I thought about what she said.
Anyone who saw a red flag in a relationship and ignored it wasn’t being all that smart, were they?
I hated that Grace saw us that way. Hated that Grace sawmethat way. But it didn’t change the fact that our lives were so different.
I thumped my head against the mattress. Then I did it again.
A sudden thought popped up in my head, without me consciously thinking it.
Grace is going to leave me.
It was stupid, the idea that she would ‘leave me’ when we weren’t officially together in the first place. We’d gone out on dates, and we’d had sex, but we hadn’t talked about any kind of relationship status.
But it still pissed me off. I finally found a girl I felt close to, a girl I actually had more than a passing interest in, and she absolutely hated everything about me and the way I lived my life.
I gritted my teeth.
This was who I was. This was what my friends were like. This was how I lived. I wasn’t going to go changing just because of one girl.
I had worked my ass off to get to this place. I had worked my ass off to get to a place where I could party, and attract hot women, and get away with all kinds of shit a guy could dream of.
Wasn’t that the entire point of trying to get rich and famous?
But even as I had that thought, the gross sort of sinking feeling hit me in the chest.
I’d always said I was in it for the music. I’d always said that we were artists first. Sure, the other perks of being a rock star were great, but if it wasn’t for the music and the performing, then nothing else mattered.
I wondered if Grace would see it that way. I wondered if I could get her to see it that way.
I heaved myself off the bed and grabbed my guitar from its stand. I flopped onto the sofa and pulled the guitar into my lap. I strummed a few lazy notes.
