Page 17 of Hard Rock Desires
There was a note of melancholy behind his words. I had to wonder what exactly had changed to put it there.
“I understand,” I told him. “It was the same with my sister. I idolized her growing up. But as we both got older, she changed. She wasn’t the same person she used to be. I hardly recognized her sometimes. We would argue about it. And then…”
And then she was gone.
“But she was my sister,” I continued. “It didn’t matter how much things had changed. I still loved her. I still idolized her. Even though we’d fought, the bad times didn’t outweigh the good.”
“Is that what you were talking about earlier?” Zain asked. “When you talked about taking that baking class. How it was a way for you to remember the good times.”
“That’s exactly it,” I said. “She may have been a different person by the end, but if I can do something to keep the memory of her alive, I’m going to do it.”
“Even if it’s painful?” Zain asked.
“Even then,” I said.
“I guess I can understand,” he said. “We put all our painful shit into the music. It doesn’t always feel good at the time.” He shook his head ruefully. “Sometimes it feels like bleeding onto the music sheets. But it helps to get it out.”
“I thought you just repressed things, like everyone else?” I teased lightly, echoing his words from the alley.
He snorted out a laugh. “Yeah, mostly. But it’s different when it’s music.”
“There was a lot of emotion in the songs you guys played tonight,” I said. “It felt raw. And real. But it sounded kind of hopeful, too. Like everything was going to turn out okay.”
I looked at Zain. He was staring at his bandmates. That melancholy had returned. I never would have thought I’d see such an expression from the conceited guy I’d met in the alley.
It was unexpected. Surprising.
And, despite myself…
It was intriguing.
Six
Zain
Most after-parties were the same. Hot girls, club music, dancing, drinking games. The locations were different and the level of crazy went up and down depending on how much steam we needed to let off.
But tonight wasn’t like the others. Usually I had plenty of girls hanging off me, just like the rest of the guys. This time there was only one girl, and she definitely wasn’t hanging off me. In fact, it was almost like she was scooting farther and farther away, backing herself into the corner the longer the night went on.
Grace wasn’t the party type, that was for sure.
I still wasn’t one hundred percent sure why I was so fascinated with her. I mean, I liked a challenge as much as the next guy, the thrill of chase and all that. Knowing that I had to work harder to impress her was fun.
And of course she was cute as hell, with that heart-shaped face and easily flushed cheeks, not to mention the long legs in those skin-tight pants that showed off every curve of her hips and ass. My cock twitched every time she pursed those pretty lips at me.
But there was something else. Something I couldn’t put my finger on.
Maybe it was the way she spoke, as if she had thought through every word. She didn’t blurt out everything she was thinking like Finn and Kaylee. She didn’t seem to dwell or overthink either, the way Anya and sometimes Micah did. And she certainly wasn’t like Chris, who always had a smile on his face for anyone.
Maybe it was the way she looked at me when I talked. As if she were really interested in what I had to say. She wasn’t just pretending to listen. She was actually paying attention.
Maybe it was the way she didn’t moon over me or pander to me, telling me what she thought I wanted to hear. She was witty with a sharp tongue and didn’t take any of my bullshit.
But there was one other thing I found the most intriguing, the most compelling.
No matter how sharp her tongue, there was always sadness in her eyes. Loss, and grief. She’d experienced pain in her past, a kind that was familiar to me.
I wasn’t going to compare the two of us. I knew you couldn’t compare that kind of thing. But somehow, there was something in that wistful look in her eyes when I talked about my bandmates being my family. I didn’t know how to explain it, but it made me feel—
