Page 10 of The Ones Left Behind
Mrs. Harlow stood tall as though offended. “As if I would leave his lordship at a time like this!”
“I had no thought to hasten you out of the door. I only meant that you must not pretend any longer I am to be a lady. I know you have been trying to fob me off.” She eyed the elderly woman, who had the grace to look guilty.
“’Tis not right, and I know his lordship will agree with me.”
Kitty did not agree with her but held her tongue. “I shall not broach the topic with him until he is more recovered.”
“And when do you mean to tell him you are here?” the housekeeper asked knowingly. “You cannot keep your presence a secret from him.”
“I do not intend to. I will speak to him when Dr. Beverly leaves.”
“Very well. If he agrees to this mad scheme, then you may assume my duties.”
Kitty nodded and watched Mrs. Harlow disappear through one of the solid oak doors that led to the bowels of the house.
She stood in the panelled hallway where the banister curved upwards to the family apartments, a portrait of the old Earl looking down upon her with a disapproving scowl upon his face. Closing her eyes, she heard again the laughter from when the old Earl had been away and she and the boys had slid down the polished rail, their only concern that Nurse would not catch them in the act. The old butler, Percy, had aided and abetted them whenever he thought no one was looking. A most superior individual in many ways, he had always been kind to them. She smiled at the memory. How had things gone so wrong?
Could she truly live here again as though nothing had ever happened? Or was it better to ask for charity and leave, never to return again?
She thought of how cruel the world was for those who must make their own way in it. There were women who made a good living, of course, but Kitty was caught between two worlds—neither a lady nor a servant. Perhaps it had been a mistake to think she would ever be accepted as such here, although it might be possible to obtain a reference from Matthias. That was what had been lacking when she had sought work as a governess or companion.
Approaching footsteps disturbed her thoughts and she looked up to see Hornsby coming down the stairs with the doctor.
She turned and forced a smile, knowing she could not escape this time. “How is he, Doctor?”
“He survived the fever, so I trust there should be no more danger on that front.” He hesitated.
She looked at the batman and frowned.
“However, his leg might have more damage than we first thought,” the doctor said. “If the bone is shattered it might never heal properly. Only time will tell if it must come off; much will depend on whether or not more infection sets in. In the meantime I have splinted it and I will call again in a few days unless you have need of me. Should you have any concerns, then send someone for me.” He placed his hat on his head. “It is nice to see you home again, Miss Kitty.”
She smiled and nodded and watched him leave before then turning back to Hornsby. “Will he not walk again?”
“I don’t rightly know, ma’am. The leg collapsed on him when he tried to stand.”
“Perhaps that is only weakness. He has been in bed for over a month!” She tried to reason, as much for herself as for him. The thought of Matthias as anything less than whole and vibrant was difficult. He had always been so strong, so alive, so… dashing.
“He be right determined,” Hornsby said, as if he also could not think of his master as anything other than what he had been before. “He asked me to post these letters. He is looking for you,” the batman went on, in a mild accusatory tone.
“Do not post them yet. I will speak with him.”
He gave her a look that would be impertinent were it not well deserved. Matthias had become his master first… and if she intended to become a servant, she would be his equal.
“This is not easy for me, Hornsby. I was brought up here as a ward of the old Earl.”
Understanding crossed his face. Had he not known? “I only knew you as Mrs. Gordon. I did not know of the connection.”
She had assumed as much, but she hated to see the pity in his eyes.
“What are you afraid of? He has been worrying about you.”
“That I cannot say,” she answered vaguely. She could hardly put everything into words. Not many knew the full history between Matthias and herself and it felt disloyal to Peter to say anything. “I will go and speak with him now.”
The batman gave a nod and Kitty turned to the banister, knowing this was something she had to do. The longer she put it off, the harder it would be to leave if he denied her.
As she climbed the stairs, she debated what to say. By the time she reached Matthias’ door, she still had not decided. It stood open a crack and she knocked lightly. There was no answer. Had he perhaps fallen asleep already from the exertions with the doctor?
She peeked inside, and saw him lying in repose, as peaceful as an angel. It was hard to believe only a few hours before he’d been knocking on death’s door. She turned to leave, feeling like an intruder. She wasn’t ready.
