Page 19 of The Ones Left Behind
It was partly why Matthias had not been able to bring himself to marry, especially not the ladies his father had chosen for him. His father had died while he had been absent with the army the first time, and Matthias wondered if his sire had regretted sending Kitty away and then issuing ultimatums to his heir.
He blew out his breath. It would be necessary to tread carefully with Kitty as well, lest he repeat his father’s mistakes. He did not wish to lose her again, even if she had chosen Peter and the knowledge still stung. It was irrational, he knew, when he had not offered for her himself, but she had not trusted him enough to wait.
Somehow it felt as though he was stuck in a deep crevasse with slippery walls and no way out. Things were not so desperate, he attempted to reason with himself, but they felt desperate. He felt helpless.
“You wanted to see me, my lord?” Mrs. Harlow stood before him. Very likely she had knocked and he had not heard.
“Yes. Please have a seat so I do not have to look up at you.”
Reluctantly, she sat down but stayed on the edge of her chair.
“Miss Kitty has told me you wish to retire.”
“Only when you are ready for me to do so, my lord. I would never leave you in your time of need,” she sputtered, as if offended by the suggestion.
“You have been training Miss Kitty, I understand, and she undeniably knows the house well.”
“That she does,” the housekeeper hesitantly agreed.
“But?”
“It is not my place to say, my lord.”
“You have known both of us since infancy. I give you leave to speak.”
“Very well. I think she will manage the household well enough, but she was not brought up to be a servant. She is a gentlewoman, my lord.”
“She will not accept my help in any other way, Mrs. Harlow. What am I to do?”
“That is why I agreed to go along with the charade. You should have seen her when she arrived. She looked a sight, my lord.” Her voice cracked, choking with emotion at the remembrance.
Matthias had not knownthat. Guilt shot through him, sharper than any bullet wound had. “And she is stubborn enough to go back to that rather than take a penny from me.”
“Sir Nigel should be ashamed of himself,” she spat.
“I will deal with him in time,” Matthias vowed.
“People will talk no matter what because of the history, if you will pardon my saying so. I fear Sir Nigel will try to turn everyone hereabouts against her if there is any suggestion of his being at fault.”
“How Nigel and Peter came from the same stock, I will never know.” People probably said that about Matthias and his brother, he thought dourly. “Either way, you should assume your well-deserved retirement, with a suitable pension of course. Kitty will step into a well-run house and only needs to maintain the standards you have instituted. You are to join your sister, I believe?” He thought he had overheard that somewhere.
“Yes, my lord. We have purchased a cottage by the sea in Exeter.”
“Perhaps, one day, we shall meet again. My mother always tried to maintain a connexion with long-serving retainers. I will request Miss Kitty to do so, if you will furnish her with your new direction. Your accounts should be in order. And if you ever need anything—” He found his throat constricting and was forced to swallow. Another principal person in his life was leaving him. It somehow made keeping Kitty here more necessary. He hated goodbyes. He reached out his hand. “Forgive me for not standing properly. I wish you well, Mrs. Harlow.”
She nodded as she dabbed a handkerchief to her eyes, then blew her nose. She rose and curtsied deeply before leaving the room.
Selfishly, he wanted her to stay. She had always been there and was as much a part of Thackeray Close as the house itself.
“My lord?” Hayes interrupted the maudlin mood about to descend. “There is a Mr. Bailey here. He says he has a delivery for you.”
“I suppose you had better show him in, then.”
“My lord.” The young, but large man bowed before him.
“Forgive me. I am somewhat indisposed, as you can see.”
“’Tis why I am here. I came to see Mrs. Gordon, but as no one seems to know where she is, I thought... She commissioned this for you, my lord.”
