Page 54 of The Ones Left Behind
“We are here to help, and there should not be talk while we are present,” Waverley assured him.
“You cannot stay forever. I need to dismount, now. My leg is shaking more than last night’s blancmange.”
When they began to help Matthias from his bay gelding as if he were a small child, she had to turn away. He would not wish her to see him thus.
Kitty had eavesdropped without conscience, and now she would have to wonder guiltily at the meaning of the words. Warm, salty tears poured down her face. She did not understand. He did not understand. If she could only see past the shield of honour he placed around his intentions—and if only he could love her as she loved him. Why was he so determined on this marriage? Nevertheless, her heart softened and she allowed herself to hope as she hurried back to the house to ready herself to join the others at breakfast.
CHAPTER15
Mounting his horse that morning had felt like a very, very small step in the right direction, yet Matthias had needed to do it, to prove something to himself if nothing else. It had been more humbling than he had anticipated, to lay himself open to his friends in such a manner, yet they understood like most people could not. It had been over a month since he had first arrived home and he was due for a visit with Dr. Beverly, but part of him was afraid of what the doctor would say. If Matthias avoided the physician, then he avoided hearing anything that would devastate him. Besides, there was little he could do with the splint immobilizing his thigh; far better to keep his attention on winning Kitty over while he still had the chance.
He had worked hard with Cook and Dunford to prepare a picnic he thought would please Kitty. Tables and chairs had been taken down to the lawn by the lake. Boats had been pulled out of the sheds and polished. A new swing had been hung by the water and all her favourite puddings he could think of—strawberries with sweet cream, blackberry tart, lemon cheesecakes and pound cake topped with fresh plum jelly—had been prepared, along with fresh fruits and the estate’s elderflower wine, in addition to fried chicken, cold ham and cheese from the dairy.
The day was perfect, without yet a cloud in the sky, but since this was the south of England, it could well be a different season by late afternoon. The garden had been freshly scythed, filling the air with the pleasant aroma unique to cut grass.
He remembered one such afternoon when he had been home from university. It had been the day he had first seen her in a different light. He and Peter had just ridden into the stable yard and were walking up to the house. They were still covered in road dust but having seen the gathering by the lake, diverted to greet everyone—gentry and servants alike.
Perhaps it sounded silly, like one of Byron’s poems, but suddenly he had understood Byron’s sentiment as never before. He found himself reciting:
She walks in beauty,like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes…
Kitty had been standing talkingto Lady Gordon, her slender frame enveloped in a sprigged muslin gown the colour of a spring meadow. The sun’s rays hit her hair at just the right angle, giving her a warm glow and the sound of her laughter was brighter than any summer day.
But the moment he would never forget, the image to which he had fallen asleep, too many a night in his tent on the Peninsula, was when she had turned to see him and smiled, as though he was her favourite person in the world. For a time, he had thought he was. He wanted to be again.
He had come down to the lake before the others, wanting to ensure everything was perfect. So much depended on this picnic, but nothing could be forced. If Kitty’s feelings were not there anymore, he doubted they could be rekindled.
The servants had everything under control. Dunford and Hayes were very good at their positions and he told them so. “Everything seems to be in perfect order. I hope all of you will take the time to enjoy yourselves as well.”
“Why, thank you, my lord,” Mrs. Dunford said, beaming from ear to ear.
“We are all cheering for you, my lord,” Hayes added.
The guests arrived in a group, little Lady Frances in her father’s arms. Matthias could not deny he was envious and hoped he would soon have his own child to hold like that.
His heart skipped a dozen beats when he saw Kitty. He had ordered a gown like the one he remembered, and she was wearing it today. She was now a woman with a woman’s curves, but she was no less beautiful. Perhaps, if he was lucky, she would bestow one of her precious smiles on him.
“This is lovely,” Lady Amelia said, spinning around. “Oh! And there are boats! Will you take me for a row later?”
“Of course,” Philip answered his wife, giving her a look of endearment.
“Please tuck in and enjoy the feast Cook has prepared,” Matthias encouraged, indicating the tables of food behind them.
The ladies began filling their plates, followed by the gentlemen, and he quickly realized he would not be able to carry his own plate. Suddenly, there was Kitty before him, ready to take it from him.
Despite his injury, he was determined everything should be just as it had been before. He, Kitty and Peter had sat on a blanket beneath the large beech tree from which they had hung a swing.
“Where would you like to sit, my lord?”
“The blanket,” he said, without hesitation. “Will you join me?”
Her eyes met his, and he knew she understood. To his surprise, something in her demeanour seemed to have changed. Was she softening towards him?
