Page 77 of Cream & Sugar
“I need to tell you something.” I take a deep breath. “I know how this will sound, but hear me out, okay? And I want your honest opinion after. Not just what you think I want to hear.”
The slapping of bread dough stops. I have her full attention.
“Of course, love. Oh gosh, you’re not in trouble, are you?” There’s genuine concern in her voice.
“No, don’t worry. I’m fine. Better than fine, actually. I…” My fingers are burning. I look down and discover I’ve been furiously rubbing a cushion between my fingertips. I trap my hand under my thigh and steel myself. Then, I say the words, “I’ve met someone.”
Silence for one heartbeat. Two.
“Oh Shaun, that’s fantastic news!” Mum exclaims, excitedly.
“Yeah. Thanks, Mum.”
She sounds elated. That’s the first hurdle crossed, at least.
Mum prattles on: “Gosh, I know the split from Lara hit you hard, but it’s great to hear you’re getting back out there. Tell me everything. What’s her name? Where did you meet?”
Shit. Here we go.
“Mum, you remember the new barista I hired?”
“Freddie? Yes, I was listening.”
“Yeah. Well, we’ve been, sort of, we’ve been spending some time together and I haven’t known him for very long but, well, he’s really nice and we sort of clicked and, um, it’s… him. Freddie, that is. He’s, um, he’s a he.”
My heart’s slamming against my ribs. Mum doesn’t say anything right away, so I forge ahead.
“I know you’re probably thinking this is a bit of a curveball. It might seem like I’m rebounding, or maybe like I’ve lost my mind, but honestly, it doesn’t feel like that. It feels different with him. He makes me happy and he’s, well, he’s like no one I’ve ever met. I don’t know how to explain it, and I hope you’re not disappointed, but—”
“Oh, love,” Mum says. “I could never be disappointed! You thought I’d be upset that you’re dating a man?”
“Well, we’re notdating,” I clarify. “It’s still… actually, I’m not even sure what it is yet. Everything’s happened pretty fast. Really fast. But no, I knew you wouldn’t mind. I know I’ve never talked about my sexuality before, but I totally would have if I’d needed to! This is just the first time I’ve questioned it. I still like women, but now I think—Iknow—I like men too.”
A gentle sigh down the phone.
“Of course, love. Oh Shaun, thank you for telling me. I don’t mind who you’re with! So long as they treat you well and you’re happy, that’s all that matters. Same goes for your father too!”
“What?”
Mum ignores him. “So why did you think I’d be disappointed?”
I’m surprised she hasn’t picked up on it immediately.
“Well, because I’m his boss, Mum. I have a responsibility to him, don’t I? I thought you might think I’m, I dunno, taking advantage, or something?”
To my surprise, she laughs.
“Oh gosh I’m sorry love, but the idea ofyoutaking advantage of anyone is quite frankly ridiculous. You’ve always been so selfless. Too selfless, I might add. You could never do that!”
I’m stunned. I expected at least a bit of a grilling. I’d have settled for some stern disapproval followed by a reluctant acceptance. Paranoia forces me to double-down.
“But isn’t it unethical? Or something?”
She sighs.
“Oh love, I’m sorry to be blunt but it’s the twenty-first century and you work in a café. Plus, it’s so hard to meet people nowadays. Everyone says so! I’m not saying there aren’t bad people out there whodoabuse their power, and unwanted advances are never okay, but I assume this is a mutual attraction?”
“Yeah,” I admit, with a faint hint of pride. “Definitely mutual.”
