Page 44 of A Taste For Trouble
DOMINIC
Icould see the questions in Rose’s eyes as I walked out of the apartment, but I had no answers for her.
We had paused our reality to indulge our desire for each other, but our lives refused to stay paused. Today brought home to me how ridiculous it was that we even tried to label our relationship as purely physical. Whether it was the way I rushed into stop her from marrying Joe Cheney, or the fact that she made me lasagna when she thought I needed cheering up, or the heartstopping fear I had felt when Logan told me there was a sniper in the trees with a gun trained on her, it all proved that what was going on between Rose and me was beyond merely physical.
I had never felt so many different emotions for one woman. She irritated me, inconvenienced me, annoyed me, made me laugh, made my heart pound with desire, and also healed me with her loving ways. Like nobody else had ever done. And I was absolutely terrified by it.
I had spent my whole life running from love. And yet, without my knowing how it happened, love had snuck into my heart like Sweetpea snuck into my room to pee on my pillow. And I was helpless to do anything about it.
On an impulse, instead of heading towards the lobby, I went to my mother’s apartment. She was just sitting down to breakfast when I walked into her living room, and she greeted me warmly before she poured me a cup of coffee.
“Are you sure you won’t eat anything?” she asked for the third time before she sat down and began to eat.
I sat in silence as she rambled on about the day she had planned until she set her coffee cup down and turned to me with a questioning look.
“You’ve been very quiet since you got here, Dom. Is everything okay?”
I sighed heavily.
“I don’t know, Mom. I don’t know anything anymore.”
“Is this because of Rosie?”
“It’s always because of Rosie,” I grumbled. “She drives me crazy with her glitter and her evil cat, who pees all over my bed just to spite me, and how she’s dyed six of my socks pink and tie-dyed three snowy white shirts different shades of blue and purple. Don’t ask me how she managed that!”
“Well, she’s also making you the best lasagna on earth, and she makes you laugh, and she’s made you way less grumpy,” reasoned Mom. “To quote Trevor, she’s kissed the grumpiness right out of you.”
“Remind me to fire that idiot,” I muttered, and Mom just laughed in reply.
“You have two choices, Dom. You can either accept that you’re finally in love, or you can turn your back on it and walk away. But let me tell you something. Walking away from lovedoesn’t mean you stop loving the person. You never stop loving the person…yourperson.”
“If this is what you call love, then I don’t want it, Mom. It makes me crazy to hear you talk about loving Dad this much when he was a lying, cheating, abusive, piece of shit,” I snarled. “After all these years, to hear you say that you didn’t stop loving him after everything he did to you…This is exactly why I don’t want to be in love. It incapacitates your ability for critical thinking…and I…”
“Hold it,” said Mom sharply, stopping me mid-rant. “Who said I was talking about your father?”
“Well, you just… You implied that you didn’t stop loving him,” I said, wondering if I had misunderstood her words.
She exhaled slowly and put out a hand. I took it and squeezed it tightly.
“Darling, I don’t know how to tell you this…but after your father died, I met someone else. He was a wonderful man who loved me a lot. And I loved him just as much, but I was still coming to terms with your father’s betrayal. And I was terrified to trust again…”
“How do I know nothing about this?” I demanded, in shock. “I had no idea you had another chance to find love, Mom. What happened?”
“I walked away from him because it was too big a step to take at that point. I couldn’t bring myself to trust his intentions. So I told myself it was just a passing fancy.”
“But it wasn’t,” I guessed softly, and she had tears in her eyes when she shook her head.
“I never stopped loving him. I still miss him. Even though we were together for less than a year. What I’m trying to tell you is that if you really love Rose, give your relationship a chance because love is not a switch that you can turn off as and when you like. It is the one thing that even you - Dominic Carlisle -can’t control, no matter how much you try. So if you can’t erase her from your heart, you might as well embrace the relationship wholeheartedly.”
“I’ll think about it,” I said, rising from the table. “I’m running late for my first meeting.”
At the door, I paused and turned around to meet my mother’s gaze.
“Who was it, Mom? Did I know him?”
“Do you remember Rob Nelson?”
“Robbie? Who used to be chief of security for the whole family until he quit when I was sixteen?”
