Page 54 of Rival
Bumping her with my shoulder, I answer once she peeks up at me. “We’re friends, right? Who else are you supposed to spill your secrets to?”
There’s a slight flicker of emotion across her face before she turns her head to stare forward. “Okay, so, remember when we were talking, and you asked if I had a boyfriend and I laughed at how crazy that was?”
“You got one now?” My stomach sinks. Did I miss my chance here? I had thought doing this whole friend thing was important, but fuck, I didn’t think her situation would change so quickly. Preparing myself for her confirmation, I school my features.
“No, that’s not it. But this thingisabout a guy and something that happened which confuses me.”
Relaxing over the news I may not be destined to forever be labeled as just a friend, I focus on her words and how serious and concerned she sounds.
“Tell me what happened, and I’ll do my best. Us men aren’t always the brightest, but maybe I can help.”
Edith’s head falls, and she mumbles under her breath.
Dipping my head down, I try to understand, but can’t hear her. “Edith, you’re gonna have to speak up. There’s no one here. Getting it all out is the hardest part.”
I can’t stop my chuckle when she groans and tilts her head back toward the sky. “It’s so embarrassing. So, I had sex for the first time the other day.” Her cheeks are crimson and she’s only able to glance at me briefly before looking anywhere but in my direction.
Air freezes in my lungs, completely unprepared for her confession as well as how I feel about it. Clearing the lump from my throat, I force out my question. “Did… Are you good with how it went?” Awkwardly, I rub the back of my head. “I don’t know how to ask that without sounding weird, but honestly, I just want to know you’re okay inthatregard.”
With a sigh, she drops her head, laying her cheek on her knees and turns her face toward me. “I’m alright. That’s… That’s not the problem. Not that particular part, at least. I don’t even know if I have a problem, but I’m confused.”
“Okay… So, what’s got you all tied up in knots? ‘Cuz if you need me to go have words with someone, I’m in your corner. That’s what friends are for, right?” I choke over the wordfriends, but she doesn’t comment on it.
Edith just pours out everything and it’s difficult to understand exactly what happened while also processing that this motherfucker needs to be shot.
“It sort of happened out of the blue. We’d spent some time together, and things kind of progressed. I thought he liked me or was developing some sort of feelings, maybe? I don’t know. It was fun though, easy even. Then it happened. It was amazing. Even in the morning, things seemed just fine, but then we weresort of interrupted and I panicked because…” She trails off, not finishing her sentence.
“Because?” I ask, urging her to continue.
“Just because, I suppose. Anyway, after that, before he left, he basically told me he had a good time and didn’t regret anything that happened, but it’s not a good idea to repeat it. He said we should pretend it didn’t happen.” She frowns, staring at her hands. “That really hurt my feelings because I thought… How do I pretend it didn’t happen? Is that something people do? Have sex with each other and just pretend you didn’t share that experience with each other? Because if so, I don’t think it’s for me.”
“Are you angry at him?” I ask because I want to know if I need to go hunt this guy down and teach him a lesson about respecting women, especially if they’re giving him the gift of their first time. My first experience wasn’t perfect. My high school girlfriend at the time wasn’t someone I was madly in love with. Maybe it was simply teenage lust, but we both had a decent enough go of it.
She shakes her head slowly. “No, I’m not mad at him. It’s that I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t know it was only a one-time thing. It felt like it was more than that when it happened. Maybe I did something wrong?”
“Listen.” I grab her hand and draw her attention to me, smiling softly. “Sometimes things don’t work out the way we want, but it’s not a reflection of you or him. We can’t guarantee everyone will be in the right headspace after sharing any kind of intimacy. I promise you, though.” I touch her chin with my finger to lift her face so she hears my sincerity. “You did nothing wrong. I guarantee it.”
Her lower lip wobbles and my heart breaks for her. She’s obviously torn up about this, and I don’t blame her. Christ, shewas vulnerable with someone and moments later, they let her down. I know this is hurting her.
“It really sucks,” she bites out, her voice cracking. I tell myselffuck itand tug her into my arms, giving her a hug.
Her arms tentatively wrap around my waist, but once she’s there, she tightens her hold and squeezes me tightly. Pressing my cheek to her head, I whisper, “It does suck, and I’ll be honest with you. It was a pretty shitty thing for him to have done. I can’t say I know his reasons, but I do understand how badly it stings. You should know not all men are like that. We can be idiots, but not everyone will leave you feeling like this.”
She won’t know it now, but I’m including myself in the category of men not walking away after spending a night with a woman. Not without prior understanding. I get people fuck just to fuck, but I already know Edith isn’t one of those people. I could have told anyone that after only spending five minutes with her.
Now isn’t the time to say anything, so I just hold her and give her the reassurance she’s seeking. After a while, I’m able to sense when she’s got herself pulled together, so I slowly let her go.
“You know what you need?”
This time, when she smiles, it’s genuine and has a little less hurt behind it. “What do I need?”
“You need an afternoon off. So do I. How about we tell ol’ Mrs. Danielson that we’re skipping work for the day and head back for some more riding lessons? My personal shit already wasted too much of our time hanging out together.”
Her eyes widen with hope, but Edith being Edith, gives me an out so she doesn’t feel like a burden. “Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel guilty—”
“I’m positive. Let’s go visit Noir again.”
I stand and yank her to her feet, then we say our goodbyes to Ruth before heading out. I’m just as anxious to have a day offas her, and by the end of the afternoon, we’re both smiling after leaving all the dark shit behind us for a few hours.
