Page 105 of Before Eve
His gaze touches on my hair, back to blond now, before drinking in my eyes, the line of my nose, and my lips. The tenderness melts through me.
I press a kiss to the top of his hand. “I purposefully didn’t contact you. It’s been insane. I wanted to wait until things settled down.”
“Oh, I know that.”
“How did you know I was with Brynn?”
“I figured as much. I didn’t know how to reach you. Or Brynn. I just showed up.”
“I’m glad you did.”
“Eve…” Fresh tears cloud his vision.
“It’s okay. I’m safe.”
We hug again.
Then we sit, looking deeply. The more I sink into the depths of him, the stronger, more capable I feel, followed closely by calmness and a new, unfamiliar instinct to open up and talk.
No more running and lying. No more anything but truth.
“You’ve seen the videos. You know what happened to me. But you must hear it from me.” I take a deep breath and, because I need a little space, I let go of his hands and slowly begin, “I don’t ever remember a time when I felt secure. Sure, I was fed, had expensive clothes, and a huge house, but every night I’d go to sleep wondering if he’d visit my room.
“Sometimes I would fall asleep, thinking I was okay for the night, and then wake up and he’d be there. Just watching me. Sometimes the lash of a belt would rip me from sleep. I got good at not sleeping. I didn’t want to be taken off guard.”
West swallows his emotion, but he doesn’t touch me, doesn’t say anything, just keeps listening.
“I never knew what I did wrong. At first, it was that I didn’t smile pretty in a picture that was taken. Then it was that I wasn’t paying attention during one of his many speeches. Then it became about him not getting an email. Or not receiving some award. It didn’t matter. It was always my fault, and Ibelieved him. Itwasmy fault. But no matter how hard I tried to be good, to be better, to help him, nothing ever worked.”
My thoughts center. “I became a master of hiding my feelings. Always polite. Always smiling at the appropriate times. Anybody who saw me never knew. Not even Brynn. I never told her. I was too ashamed.”
I take another second, needing it.
“After Grayson would beat me, he’d often apply peroxide to my broken skin. The strange thing is…” I’m afraid to admit this next part, but I need to. “I cherished that. It was the only time he was ever tender and gentle with me.”
Pain crosses West, and he doesn’t hide the emotion from me. I love that he doesn’t.
“Finally, I came clean to Brynn about everything, and we devised a plan for me to escape. I met you, Anne, Ford… Fast-forward, and here I now am.”
I pull my knees up and wrap my arms around them, giving myself a barrier. “West, that’s why I lied. Why I’ve lived in fear. Grayson told me he would find me if I ever ran, and I knew he was capable of it. I knew he had the resources to locate me. And then there was Noah, just waiting for me.”
I fall silent, taking in his aching expression.
He breaks eye contact, looking down at the creak. I study the lines of his jaw as it clenches tightly. He’s upset. Not at me, but at the situation.
“None of this is your fault,” he says. “You know that, right?”
“Yes, but I still should’ve been truthful with you earlier on. It wasn’t fair to you.”
West scoots close, wrapping his hands around my ankles. “I don’t want to lose you, but it feels like I might. Am I misreading you?”
“I don’t want to lose you either. But a lot is going on in mylife right now. A lot I need to work through.” I let go of my tightly wrapped knees, no longer needing the temporary barrier. I take his hands, looking into his earnest eyes. “Plus…I’m still only sixteen.”
“Sixteen and a half,” he quickly corrects me.
My lips twitch. “Yes, sixteen and a half.”
“One day, three years between us won’t matter, but I understand it does matter now.” He lifts my hands, gently placing a kiss on both wrists. “I’ll wait for you. Two years. A decade. More. I don’t care. I’ll wait, Eve. I’ll wait.”
