Page 39 of Before Eve
“Nothing. I’ll be better. I promise.”
My pulse races. His fingers dig deep into the thin skin of my slender wrists. I stare at his black dress shoes, feeling heat radiate off his body. I squeeze my lids shut because then my world is dark and I can’t anticipate his next move.
“You bring this on yourself,” he speaks, his breath hot on my skin.
I don’t respond. He stays threateningly close.
Then he releases my wrists. But I don’t move a muscle or even breathe. I don’t want to do anything that might fuel his ire.
Thankfully, he takes a step away but I remain very still. And I continue standing frozen up against the wall, my wrists behind my back, my head bowed until after he’s long gone.
At the door he stops, delivering one last insult. “There’s nothing special about you, Laura. Don’t ever think there is. You’re mediocre at best. It’s why I insist you keep your hair long. It’s the only thing you’ve got going for you.” With that, he leaves.
In the months to come, I become very good at cheating in Algebra I Honors. I bring home straight A’s, and Grayson never mentions the class again.
Anne parties a lot. In the short amount of time I’ve known her, I’ve only gone to one with her. It was a big mistake with the crowd, the drunks, and everyone bumping into each other. Definitely not my scene.
She always asks me to go, and I always say no. As usual, she asks me this time. Simon and West do as well. I told them allno, and they went on without me to Ms. Kelly’s party. Somewhere in the past thirty minutes, though, I changed my mind.
Now here I stand staring at the door that leads out to the hotel’s rooftop party in Pittsburgh. Music thumps the air, and through the glass panels, I see everyone from the road packed in tight, dancing and drinking. This is a private party, so there are no reporters and no cameras, but everyone from the road is here—the festival bands, the sound crew, the lighting techs, the production staff, and various other people.
This is supposed to be fun,I remind myself as I take a step toward the double doors. But new nerves jitter through me, making my palms slick. Breathe, Eve, breathe.
Just a few floors below waits my hotel room, all safe and ready for me. I’m being ridiculous. No one’s going to grab me. No one’s going to do anything to me. People will be in my personal space, and they will be touching me, but I’ll be okay. I’ll be okay.
I can’t be like this forever. I have to be comfortable at some point. If I was courageous enough to run away, if I was brave enough to have survived the first sixteen years of my life, then I’m bold enough to walk in there and attend this party.
With renewed strength, I reach for the door and swing it open to be greeted with music, cheer, and nippy fall air. Tucking my hands into my hoodie, I step forward onto the packed rooftop as the music’s beat thumps through my veins. People are everywhere amidst the tables and twinkle lights and what seems like tons of open bars.
I scan the crowd for Anne, or West, don’t see either one, and scoot along the perimeter. One person gives me a smile, and I give one back, but it comes out awkward and shaky.
“Holy shit, you’re really here.” Anne comes toward me.
“Just now, yes.”
“I was about to come down and see if I could talk you into coming up.” She hands me a cup. “Here drink this.”
I sniff it. “What is it?”
“Alcohol.”
I let out a laugh. “Point taken.”
“I’m really glad you’re here.”
“Me too.” I take a sip of the drink. It’s not half bad. Kind of fruity.
“Be right back,” she tells me and heads off.
I stand along the outer wall, glancing through the packed crowd, admittedly looking for a fedora. I find West over near a bar, wearing faded jeans, a black leather jacket, and for a change, no fedora. He takes a drink of his bottled beer, chuckling at whatever the person beside him is saying. Taking a sip of my own drink, I enjoy the moment of just watching without him knowing I am.
Anne comes back with a new cup and taps it to mine. “To pals.”
“To pals.” I take another sip that turns into more of a healthy drink.
Anne nods over her shoulder. “See the chick in the brown suede jacket?”
I look back at West to find him staring right at me. Warmth flushes through my cheeks, and he breaks into a big grin.
