Page 41 of Before Eve
CHAPTER 20
I avoidthe elevator and go straight for the stairwell. With a strangled gasp, I fling it open, and I race down the stairs. The alcohol rises up my esophagus as I round a landing and keep heading down. My whole life I’ve been submissive and scared. Why couldn’t I have been someone different just now? Why couldn’t I have immediately stood up for myself?
I inhale a sharp breath and give my wrists a shake to get the feeling of his skin off of mine. My pace picks up as I round another floor, and Brynn’s words come back to me,Grayson no longer has any power over you.Ha! What a joke. He will always have power over me. Always. He’s not even here and yet he still has control.
A bead of sweat trails down the side of my neck as I pick up my pace even more. Pressure pushes in, and the stairwell tilts. I grab onto the railing and try to inhale, but I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe! I yank my hoodie off and tug at the collar of my T-shirt. Breathe!
Finally, I manage to catch a shallow breath. I push off and keep going down. I need air.Now. By the time I reach the ground floor, sweat has soaked me totally through, but Ishove through the exit door, straight into the chilled air, and start walking.
I round the block, step right through a group of people, and keep going.
You bring this on yourself.
Grayson’s words echo through my head, and my breath hitches. Go away! I stumble down an alley, backing up against a brick wall, and gasp for a breath that seems permanently clogged. I should have never gone to that party.
Leaning down, I brace my hands on my knees and fight the bile bittering my mouth. A chill races across me, and I slip my hoodie back on. Then I just stand, breathing.
In my back pocket, my cell vibrates, but I don’t check it. It’s either Anne or West, and I can’t face them right now. I just can’t.
CHAPTER 21
I wanderthe streets for I don’t know how long and end up in a park just a couple of blocks from the hotel. When I finally pull my phone out, I notice it’s after midnight, and West and Anne have both texted me an equal amount of times.
West: Where are you?!
Anne: What the hell. Get back here!
West: Are you okay?
Anne: Why aren’t you picking up?
And on and on they go. I pull up West’s name first and start to compose a message back—
“Jesus!” I hear and jerk around to see him racing toward me. He doesn’t stop as he slides onto the park bench beside me and wraps his arms around me. Immediately, I tense, but he just hugs me harder until I ease into it.
Melt into it actually as I burrow into his neck and just breathe in all that is him. I could stay right here, surrounded by his comfort forever.
He pulls back then, giving me a very long look. I study his clenched jaw and the tension creasing his forehead. He’s reallyupset, and I’m the reason why.
“I got your texts,” I lamely say.
“Why didn’t you answer them?” he demands.
His voice takes me off guard and flares a spark of anger in me. But just as quickly as it flares, it goes away. He has every right to be angry with me. As does Anne.
I stare down at my jeans as my foggy brain trudges back through the last couple of hours. “I guess because I didn’t know what to say.” Even to my own ears, it sounds stupid.
West sighs. “I get that. I do. But whether you like it or not, Anne and I care about you. You can’t just walk off and ignore our stressed-out texts. Especially not after what happened. If you want time, that’s fine. But at least tell us that.”
I don’t respond. He’s right.
He takes my hand. I know West. I trust him. He’s here to help.
I trust him…
That thought slams into me. Other than Brynn, I’ve never completely trusted anyone. Not even Anne, though she’s just the persontotrust. “I’m sorry about all that back there. I’m sorry if I screwed up the party.”
West shoves off the bench, pacing away before swerving to confront me. “You’re unbelievable. Toby’s a grab ass, and he never knows when to stop. I can’t believe you’re apologizing for ‘screwing up the party’. That’s not what you should be apologizing for.”
