Page 4 of Velvet Thorns
“Oh my god, just fuck off,Phoenix.”
“Can’t do that.”
She shoves herself to her feet, her bag slamming against her, and the anger radiating from her makes me tense. She storms toward me, and I brace myself, jaw clenched, ready for whatever she’s going to throw at me.
“Why are you doing this to me?” she demands, her voice breaking as the words tear out of her. “Do you seriously not think I’ve had enough of everyone’s shit already? Do you think I need yours on top of it?”
“I miss you.” There’s no filter, no walls, just the ugly truth. “I miss my best friend.”
“Best friend?” she spits out. “You are so fucking dumb. Seriously. Is that why you’re pushing so hard with football? Because it’s the only way someone like you can get into college? Run fast, throw hard, and maybe no one will notice you’ve got nothing else going for you.”
Yeah, that one hits hard.
“Wow, low fucking blow.”
“Don’t care,” she snaps, already turning away from me. “Now leave.”
“Why are you here, Shannen?”
“It’s lunch,” she throws over her shoulder, like that explains anything.
“No. I mean here. In our place.”
“Our place?” she repeats, then turns on me with a hollow laugh that feels like a knife to the ribs. “You stopped showing up two years ago. I never did. So it stopped being ours, and now it’s mine.”
“Do you always come here?” She nods, and it takes everything I have not to reach out, not to tilt her chin up with my fingers and force her to look at me. I want to see if the girl I lost is still buried under all that anger, but I don’t because she’s bristling, wrapped inall that defensive energy, and I know better than to push her right now.
“I never stopped… I thought… I don’t know what I thought, but whatever it was, it never happened. Now I come here so I don’t have to be hounded by your friends.” She tugs her gray hoodie tighter, shrinking into the fabric like she can disappear entirely. “You never came back, not once. So why now?”
Because I wake up every morning with your name in my mouth and blood under my fingernails.
Because I fucked up so badly, I don’t even know where to start when it comes to asking you to let me back in.
Because I miss you so much, it makes my bones ache.
But I don’t say any of that.
“I’m going to Ohio. I got a football scholarship.”
For a second, just a blink, I see pride flash in her eyes. I know I saw it. But just as quickly, she closes herself off again.
“Congratulations.”
“You’re the only person I’ve told.” She shakes her head, like she wishes I’d just disappear. “As soon as I found out, you were the only person I wanted to tell.”
Because, despite what everyone else thinks, none of this would’ve happened without her. She saw me with a ball once, told me to go for it, and pushed me to try out when no one else gave a damn. If I’m anything, it’s because of her.
“I’m happy for you. You can go now.”
“Stop, Shannen. Please stop cutting me out.”
“How dare yo?—”
“I know, I know. But I’m still me.” I reach out, cupping her cheeks in my palms and forcing her to see me. “I know I can’t fix what I’ve done. I wish I could go back and undo every second of it, but I can’t. I can’t change the past. Just give me a chance to be someone better. Just… please.” I swallow hard, my hands still cupping her face, my heart breaking with the quiet and hurt between us. “Please let me back in.”
I look into her eyes—those deep, gold-flecked eyes that used to gaze at me like I was the only thing in the world that mattered—and I search for that light she used to hold just for me, desperate to find even a flicker of what used to be mine.
But it’s not there.
