Page 97 of Hana Khan Carries On
Here are the rules:
This is no longer a single-person podcast. That means there might be interviews, a co-host, and possibly, if I’m feeling up to it, some comedy.
Also, this whole anonymous thing isn’t working for me anymore. So, listeners, here we go.
My name isn’t Ana; it’s Hana Khan. I’m twenty-four years old and I live in Scarborough, an east-end suburb of Toronto, Canada. My parents immigrated from India before I was born, and until recently we ran a small halal restaurant called Three Sisters Biryani Poutine. My mom let me name the place when I was nine years old, because she didn’t care about things like market research or worry about confusing her customers. My cousin Rashid runs the restaurant now, and you should definitely check it out. The food is great, and it’s definitely not a front for the New Delhi mafia.
The other halal restaurant on our street is Wholistic Burgers and Grill. It’s owned and run by my husband, Aydin Shah. We first met because of this podcast. Later he tried to shut down Three Sisters, and then I tried to shut down his restaurant. After a few months we decided it would be better if we got married instead, since it was obvious he was madly in love with me. We plan to live mostly happily ever after, which is the best anyone can hope for in this life, according to my cousin.
When I started this podcast a year ago, I promised nothing of substance and nothing but the truth. This is my truth:
The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy is neither created nor destroyed, but it can be transformed from one form to another. That law will get you every time, so make sure the energy you put out into the world is positive. Otherwise it will turn the other way and then turn on you.
Newton’s Third Law of Motion states that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Everything that happened to me this year has been proof, whether I wanted it to be or not. Luckily, the hatred aimed at me and mine was met with an equal and transformative amount of love.
Rashid’s Second Law of Enthusiastic Fresh Starts is to build a dam—and then a hydroelectric power station right beside it to make money while your world is changing.
Kawkab Khala’s Eternal Law of “Stop Being Ridiculous, Hanajaan” is to dress with intention, keep tabs on your enemies, and always take care of your friends. Also, intelligent women play the long game.
Aydin’s Law of Final Words is to accept that crazy coincidences really do happen in real life, and that love keeps to its own schedule.
And finally, Hana’s First Law of Living states that everything is better told as a story, and mine is still unfolding. I hope you tune in again soon for all the adventures that await.
