Page 54 of A Brilliant Match
“I’ve come to tell you that I’ve reached a decision concerning my estate in Lancashire.” He paused, bringing his fists together, then raised his eyes to hers. “I’ve decided to sell it, and find another residence for my mother. It is most likely that I will be moving there to assist her in getting settled, and I will need to begin thinking about what to do next.”
Miles looked at her, a wealth of emotion in his eyes. “I could not leave London without bidding you farewell.”
Little spots formed in front of Dorothea’s vision. He was leaving. “So you are moving away? Will you not marry as you once thought?” The sensation of dizziness that overtook her grew as she realized what she had just asked him.
He gave her a steady look, and with a quick glance at the other side of the room where Sophia sat, he leaned in to murmur, “I realized I cannot marry where my heart is not engaged. And as my heart has been captured by a woman it is impossible for me to marry, I fear it will require some time for me to envision taking such a step once again.”
He lifted his eyebrow a fraction in significance, as though he wished to tell her who had engaged his heart.
“Oh,” she said quietly, wading through the melancholy that threatened to drown her at his announcement. Perhaps sheshouldsay something. Perhaps she would.
Her heart sped up again at the thought, but she had to try. She could not let him go without telling him of her change of heart.
“And would you not consider marrying for love?” Her voice was barely audible, but his eyes were on her lips and she knew he could hear what she said.
“For instance,” she went on, nearly breathless, “if a particular lady knew that your heart had been engaged but that you didn’t have the means to allow her the lifestyle to which she’d been accustomed, and”—she licked her lips—“and if you knew the lady would not object to entering into the match despite the disparity of your situations, would you not change your mind?”
Dorothea’s cheeks were scalding. She trembled at the audacity of what she was saying. Never before had she stepped so far outside the bounds of propriety. For heaven’s sake, she was practically proposing to the man herself.
Miles looked extremely pained. His mouth was pulled down into a frown, and he reached his hand forward until it settled on hers. He shook his head.
“As much as such a thing would tempt me almost beyond what I can resist, I could not do so to the lady. It would be most unfair to ask her to leave the life to which she has grown accustomed and force her into a life of poverty. My mother has reminded me of that most forcibly.”
“Ah,” was all she could manage. She wanted to say it would not matter, but she had already said too much.
Her humiliation was now complete. She had proposed to a gentleman, and he had refused her. There was nothing more to say. She could not respond or even look at him, and as much as she wanted to bear her mortification alone, her heart ached at the thought that she would likely not see him again. After a long moment in which she kept her eyes fixed downwards, he pulled his hand back.
“I must leave you now. Although our lives must go in separate ways, I believe I shall always carry a piece of you in my heart, Dorry,” he whispered.
She nodded dumbly. There was simply nothing left to say. She thought she heard him bid her adieu, but she did not lift her head to watch him go.
When the door closed behind him, Sophia rose from the writing desk and came over to her. “Is everything well?”
Dorothea raised eyes brimming with tears. She bit her lip and shook her head. “I don’t believe anything ever will be again.”
Sophia sat instantly and put her arms around Dorothea as though she were the older sister—as though it was natural that she should carry her burdens. Dorothea put her face in her hands and sobbed, and Sophia held her. She rocked her in her arms, murmuring whispered assurances that somehow penetrated the heartache, empty though they were.
“Shh, shh.All will be well. All will be well.”
Chapter21
Before the week was over, Miles accepted an offer on his estate that was more than what he had expected. And although he felt relief that he would be able to move forward with his plans, it was like saying farewell to his father all over again. His father had loved that land.
Rock had made every effort to see that their fortnight together was spent in high entertainment, insisting that Miles move out of the bleak hotel he scurried to each night and into his London house in Mayfair. Miles refused him, however, saying that a man’s having his own lodging—be it a house in Mayfair or a rented room in an unfashionable part of town—was his last stand on dignity.
Rock dragged him to the races, to every club in London to which they had membership, to the respectable gaming houses—and the less respectable ones. They even rode the twenty-mile circuit required for membership in the Four-Horse Club, although Miles could never afford the fees for it. It was just to see if they could make the time.
He appreciated his cousin’s efforts, for it prevented him from mulling over his last conversation with Dorothea in the maudlin way he had taken to doing. She had trusted him with her heart. Had shown him who she really was. Had tempted him with her vulnerable offer that made him swear off seeing her again lest he take her at her word.
The day before he was to leave London, he received a note from Rock to come see him without delay.
“I came at your summons.” Miles walked unannounced into Rock’s study. He peeled off his gloves and tossed them on the table, then took off his hat and rubbed his head. It was unseasonably warm outside. “So now that you’re the earl, you’ve taken to barking orders that you expect to be obeyed?” He grinned.
“Only when the subject matter is of such importance it cannot wait,” his cousin retorted. “A drink?”
“Don’t mind if I do.” Miles accepted the glass that was poured, drank, then set it down on the table next to him. Rock came and sat with one leg crossed over the other. His knee bounced up and down in excitement so foreign to his cousin’s usual cool demeanor that Miles frowned at him in surprise.
“I don’t suppose you know why I have sent for you?”
