Page 16 of Roses, Pearls, and Hot Summer Nights
Jeremy picked up his menu then relaxed appropriately in his seat. “I don’tsquirm.”
I smiled despite my mood since squirmy seemed the perfect adjective to describe Jeremy. The moment was one of those special shared family moments between brothers, the kind of thing I so rarely saw in my day-to-day life. Despite living together and knowing each other’s uncomfortable secrets, our household wasn’t what I would call family. But I could practically see the twins bantering about his squirming on a regular basis. In their tones, their body language, I could practically feel their familiarity and closeness.
Before either of them could question me about my smile, I forced my face into neutrality and studied the menu instead. The dishes were all expensive, so if I paid my share, my aunt might have a good reason to stare at me with her judgmental eyes for once. Still, I had no choice, since I agreed to the dinner. I reminded myself that soon their grandmother would begin paying me for my typing and reading skills … though I doubted enough to cover eating at the restaurant.
I hated overthinking every penny I spent. A spark of rebellion shot my gaze to the bottom of the menu where the prices expanded beyond imagination.Maybe I should hurt my aunt’s pocketbook once before she ships me off.In seconds, though, I shook my head. I might imagine being that kind of person, but at the end of the day, it wasn’t me.
“What are you thinking about having?” Jeremy asked, glancing up from his menu before he set it to the side. Juliannever even picked his up. I wondered how often he ate there, to have a planned order in advance.
“What’s your favorite thing here?” Redirection worked nearly every time. Answering people’s questions with questions worked so well, in fact, I often used the move automatically without thinking about it. It not only helped to take the spotlight off me, it redirected it at the person who actually wanted that bright beam. In the long run, it sometimes even meant no one felt inclined to hurt me—always a perk. Despite my fears Julian might break my walls eventually with his genuineness, Jeremy presented an entirely different rich monster problem. His type were the boys who made my life the most difficult in my old schools.
Remember the shoes.
Jeremy looked thoughtful for a moment, his gaze wandering back to the menu. “Well, the filet mignon is pretty incredible,” he admitted. “But the lobster tail is also a solid choice. Tough decision, really.”
I studied the menu, trying to hide my surprise because he answered me. My life sometimes seemed so weird. Scanning the menu again, I remembered my mom grew up eating foods like those listed, not that I ever did as a child. Later, when my uncle talked about her, I realized I didn’t know anything about her early life or the person she’d been then. I only knew her in the life we shared together. If she felt like cooking, maybe she would throw together some chicken and some pasta. Most nights she microwaved our dinners. I never blamed her—how could I, considering how many hours she worked? Still, I never minded the simple meals, especially not when I shared them with her.
But that wasn’t how she’d started, nor did it match the menu. The juxtaposition of luxury and simplicity seemed strange, but that was just another reminder of the stark contrast between my old life and my strange new one.
It wasn’t my first time in a nice restaurant. My uncle or aunts occasionally took me with them, especially when I was younger and they couldn’t find a sitter. Despite those experiences, it still felt out of place for me, which presented its own kind of problem.This isn’t real life, I reminded myself like a mantra, knowing I only got a temporary glance into why my mother left their world, running so far and fast and then pretending it never existed.
“Filet mignon, then,” I said finally, closing the menu with a snap while I shifted my facial features to carefully held neutrality. “I’ve always wanted to try it, but I don’t think I have. My uncle was a rib-eye guy, and he mostly ordered for me.” I didn’t mention my vegan aunt in Chicago. She certainly never took me to a steakhouse, so I couldn’t remember if I’d eaten steak since San Francisco.
He chuckled, and the genuine sound caught me off guard. “You’re in for a treat, then, because theirs is great. I’m not the foodie, not like Julian. I tend to grab a quick hotdog or a slice myself. Otherwise, I just eat whatever they serve me at home most nights.”
“I’m sure you go out a lot more than that! Where do you take your dates?” I swapped from fake charming smile to careful neutrality while panic flooded my brain.Shit! Why did I ask that, of all things?
Julian leaned forward on his elbows. “I don’t think Jeremy has to feed his dates. They just follow him around until he decides to pay attention to them.”
His brother groaned. “I don’t usually date, actually. I hook up, and there’s a difference. In fact, I don’t know anyone who dates. Do you, Julian? I mean, besides your book date today, have you ever dated anyone before?”
I froze.Did he consider it a date?I thought he wanted to check out the person who would be spending time with his grandmother.
“Maybe I save dating for girls who are worth it. Also, I don’t hook up, not like you do. I actually ran into one of yours yesterday. She mistook me for you.” He shook his head. “Not too bright, or maybe she just didn’t care which one of us, so long as she got a Lent. Barrett warned us. They don’t really care.”
Jeremy shook his head. “No, they don’t, so I don’t either. I’m not looking for someone to love me. I’ve never understood, not for one moment, why you would bother. What about you, Alatheia? Are you looking for love or are you more the hookup type?”
If they didn’t tip the waiter, I would, because the man kept having flawless timing. We ordered quickly, and I added a salad to my order while they added appetizers. I didn’t bother even looking at that section of the menu.
I glanced around, searching for a safe topic. “This restaurant is old, isn’t it?”
Jeremy shook his head, waggling a finger at me like I’d been naughty. “I’m not so easily distracted, but yes, this restaurant is old. Julian probably knows how old, and I’m sure he’d be happy to spout off some rambling history right about now. Before he does, though, I asked you a question. So, are you looking for love or hook ups?”
I sighed.One point for him.My stomach clenched because answering basically gave him future weaponry. I knew from experience, truths could become pain quickly.
“Neither, actually.” I forced myself to hold his eye contact. “I don’t hook up or date. I’m also not trying to find love. I don’t even honestly know if I believe that stuff is real, and besides, it’s not what I want.”
Julian visibly swallowed, his gaze serious. “What is it that you want?”
I shrugged, because at least that part was easy. “I want to survive. Preferably relatively unscathed. Whatever comes next, that stays the plan. Someday, I want to make friends.”
If we were in a movie, I imagined cricket sound effects as all the other diners froze and stared at me for long moments. After a dramatic beat, the place would fill up with their laughter and conversation again, filling the void from the quiet before. In reality, they both just stared at me with consideration in their expressions until I felt as if I might squirm from the attention.
Julian nudged my foot under the table. “Why do you have tosurviveit? Are things so bad with your aunt? Do you need help?”
I snorted at the idea of him playing white knight. He showed up too late anyway, since my last aunt had been a nightmare. No, despite the many challenges facing me or that might face me in the future, I understood the Lent brothers would be a temporary part of my life. They could only make things more complicated if they did try to assist me before they eventually got bored. I glanced down, remembering the shoes. They never lied.
“No, I’m fine if theatrical. Thanks, though. I don’t usually talk much because I suck at it.”
