Page 60 of Roses, Pearls, and Hot Summer Nights
“Whatever happened to make you cry?” Phoenix said and squirmed again. “I’m sorry. If I can fix whatever it is, let me know.”
I squeezed his hand, hoping to give him some comfort, since it was sweet of him to try. “I probably overreacted.”
“No, you didn’t.” I thought Julian was reading, but he answered anyway before turning the page. “Your aunt is a bitch.”
Phoenix perked up, spine going straight. “Oh, hey, I remember what I was focused on outside.” His eyes seemed brighter for just a second, more aware somehow. “The art show. Barrett, that bitch Lily? They tanked her in reviews.” He pulled out his phone, scrolling quickly. “I was reading about it. They called her mediocre.”
“Ooh,” Jeremy sat forward, too. “Good. After the way she went after you, I can’t say I am sorry to see it.” He pulled out his phone, as did the rest of his brothers, and they all presumably scanned through reviews.
I bit down on my lip—which I was clearly doing too much, because it hurt. “I thought she was talented. I think she’s a bitch but maybe also a talented one.”
“Me too.” Barrett set down his phone, his finger still tapping the screen absently. “I mean obviously the painting of me was strange to see. Regardless of her subject, though, I thought shewas talented. I am sorry that she’s been holding out hope for something that wasn’t ever going to be, but I don’t think I did anything in particular to make her believe I meant anything other than what I said.”
Julian finally set down his book. “You didn’t. You absolutely didn’t. If anything, Jer is the one who gives all the girls the wrong kinds of hope.”
“I do fucking not.” Jeremy tensed next to me. “No more than you do, anyway. Besides, I don’t think we should be talking about this right now.”
Julian’s face fell and he glanced at me. “I was kidding. I think Alatheia knows she’s special to us. Different. You do, right?”
I rubbed at my eyes, suddenly too tired for the conversation. “I … I …”
“I think she probably has a hard time believing she’s special to anyone,” Phoenix said harshly, but when I glanced his way, I saw he stared out the window.
A river rushed past in the view, and I wondered if it was the East River or if I would ever learn New York geography and landmarks.
Phoenix continued, almost absently, “Would you? If your family treated you the way hers has? For that matter, she probably can’t imagine how weird it is to be treated extra special by your own family, because they’re all afraid you are about to—I don’t know … destroy something.”
“I know for sure you’re all paying an awful lot of attention to me, “ I said, glancing between them. “I hope your attention lasts, because despite only knowing you for a few days, I already know I would miss you. Not to mention, your granny claims she got me into Pullman, so it would be awful to run into each other at school if you suddenly decided you were done.”
I couldn’t help but remember the girl on the street, the one who thought she dated Julian when she actually went outwith Jeremy. I couldn’t ever mix them up, but I could imagine being in her shoes. Part of me wondered if she wanted them or their last name, and that same part wondered if they were only interested in me because it didn’t matter to me.
Jeremy put his arm around me, tugging me close. “We aren’t going to get tired of you. By the end of the summer, you may even believe us. Here, lean on me. We’re probably stuck in the car for the remainder of the day. Let’s just … rest. No more bad jokes.” He shot the last bit at Julian, who rolled his eyes before returning to his reading.
I glanced down at the book in my hands, surprised to be holding it for a second. Quickly, I returned to searching for my page.
“I’m not going to pretend that I haven’t had girls in my life before. That would be lying.” Jeremy spoke through gritted teeth, as if it hurt to confess. “That’s true for all of us, but I will say that it’s possible to have a big shift, and I …”
I put my hand on his leg. “Don’t worry about it, okay? I … Whatever is happening with our friendships and this summer and this whole thing … it’s not going to be permanent. I’ll be sent away to boarding school in six months, if not sooner. I don’t have dreams of a future, so we don’t have to pretend for my sake. I’m not that girl on the street.”
Barrett shook his head emphatically. “No one is sending you anywhere. But Julian was kidding, Jeremy. A bad joke, but he didn’t mean to get your back up.”
Jeremy pointed out, “He specifically picked me when you know as well as I do that Phoenix has talked to as many girls as I have.”
When Phoenix didn’t defend himself, I glanced over to see he’d fallen asleep. They must have all cued in at the same time as me, because Barrett put his finger to his lips to shush us, and I settled down to read my book.
Jeremy patted his shoulder in offering, so I put my head down on it. The limo slipped into some kind of tunnel, the lights flashing against the windows and slick interior, and I didn’t even have the heart to ask them what kind of tunnel it was.
He spoke in a low voice. “Phoenix never sleeps for very long. He’ll be up soon. Also, Julian has never liked how I conducted myself. He is the romantic out of the two of us, but I admit, I’m starting to see his point. I expect him to jab at me over this for a bit, but eventually he’ll stop. I am committed to our … friendship, so don’t get insecure.”
I pressed my nose into his shirt as I had done with Julian. I wanted to memorize their scents, and they didn’t seem to find it strange, so I let myself enjoy it. “I told you, Jeremy, I’m not permanent. There is no need to justify anything with me.”
Phoenix shifted, his face pained like when he’d been trying to sleep at his granny’s. He kicked off his shoes, and I wondered if he woke up. His even breaths suggested he still slept, even if he might be a very active sleeper. Finally, he pulled his knees against chest, then changed the position of his whole body until his head rested on my lap.
He muttered something but didn’t wake, so I slipped my fingertips into his soft, warm hair.
“Obviously, if you don’t like that, you can move him,” Julian whispered.
I wove my fingers deeper into his hair, deciding I didn’t mind it at all. He still wasn’t comfortable, he was clearly coming off something; he didn’t want to be in the limo and didn’t even know what was happening around him half the time. But he’d still rescued me, and he’d been nice to me since the wallet incident. I liked the idea of him coming to me for peace, if I was entirely honest.
