Page 64 of Roses, Pearls, and Hot Summer Nights
I am a selfish,bad person.
D.
SEPTEMBER 30TH1966
Readers,
The weather is cool,with leaves crinkling under my footsteps on my long walks. I go by myself, because the weather is beautiful, and my charges are back in school. I never thought I would miss them, the ragamuffin children, but I do. I am trying to figure out some television I could enjoy. But I can’t settle into watching anything. Then my uncle hit me because he didn’tlike that I couldn’t seem to concentrate. A smack right across the face, shocking me before the pain even registered. His eyes seemed so huge and dilated when he did it, focused on me in an awful way I won’t ever forget. I remember how my mother was not close with him, and admit I may avoid watching television with him in the future.
Then again,everything is awful.
I can’t ever seethe Lents again. I can hardly write for how upset I am, but I can’t see them. Never again.
D.
The knockon the window from outside made me jump. I looked up from the laptop screen quickly. Jeremy smiled at me when I tugged back the curtain to see who visited, and he crooked his finger in the universal sign that he wanted me to come outside. When I would’ve headed for the bedroom door, he shook his head and pointed at the window again, motioning as if I should open it. I shook my head at him before I realized they were doors. Sliding doors.I never had one in my bedroom before, so my hand shook a little as I worked the latch and tried to open it.
“It sticks,” he explained apologetically when I managed to get it open. “Come on. I want to show you around. The others are hiding in their rooms. Well, Phoenix might have gone out. I can’t keep track of him, but Julian and Barrett are on full Hamptons retreat. I’m not a coward, though, so I came out to gather you.”
I smiled, stepping outside to join him before closing the door behind me. “Where are we going?”
The door to my room swung open again, and Dina stood there. “Nowhere currently, sweet girl. Jeremy, back to the house with you. Dinner is in an hour, and she doesn’t need to meet your parents for the first time while covered in sand and grit. Worse, you both end up standing everyone up because you took her on an adventure. You may not care what they think, but Alatheia will.”
He groaned, stuffing his hands in his pockets like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “Were you waiting right behind the door or something?”
“No, I just have excellent timing. Come, give me a kiss and then on with you. You can sneak her out without me knowing later tonight or another time. Oh, but not tomorrow. We have to buy more bathing suits for her, so I plan to take her shopping.”
The blond twin raised his hand as he walked toward us. “I volunteer to help.”
She swatted him gently on the arm. “Out now, my darling. He was the crankiest baby, Alatheia. Just the worst. I swear, he screamed for six months straight. His brother was so cuddly and easy, but Jeremy came out screaming. I sometimes think he still would be screaming, if he could.”
He winked at his grandmother. “Maybe I will. Just wait. See you later, Princess.”
When he had finally exited, she locked the sliding doors then closed the curtains. “You’ve been traveling all day. Go shower. When you’re done, pick out an outfit that is smart but casual. Something that will match these.”
I looked down to see she held beautiful ivory pearls. I knew nothing about jewelry but even to my untrained eye, they had to be worth a fortune.
“Dina, I can’t possibly take these.” I didn’t even want to touch them, for fear I might break them.
She took my hands, placing the pearls firmly in my palms. They were cool to the touch, and surprisingly heavy. “These are old, and they belonged to my mother-in-law. The only nice piece of jewelry she ever owned, actually. We never understood each other, and I can’t say that I was ever her favorite person. Still, I think she thought that without me, they might have come back to her.” Her gaze was wistful, far away. “They wouldn’t have. It wasn’t me that kept them away. Well, notjustme. They didn’t like it there, but I digress. She gave this to me because she was afraid that the other ladies would know that I wasn’t like them. She wanted me to have something that said I was important, too.”
Dina sat down on my bed. It was a silly thought, but the moment felt important. I tried to remember all of it, down to the way the light touched her as she said, “The thing is, Alatheia, the women in my world can smell our otherness like a disease. They see it and they are terrified of it, so scared they lash out one way or the other until we learn to be scarier than them. I wore these pearls for years, because they reminded me that she understood. That someone understood. I loaned them to Rosalind once for the same reason, and she will likely recognize my meaning when she sees you wearing them. She’ll understand. Maybe they can make you feel seen, too.”
I sat down next to her, touching her arm gently. “Is your family going to judge me? Like the people did at school? I don’t know why, but I didn’t expect it here, probably because you and your grandkids are the way you are.”
My stomach clenched at the thought of coming censure.
She took my hand, and I remembered to breathe. “It won’t be like school, but they are protective of our family. We have to be, for so many reasons, so they will try to be careful with you.Regardless, you’ll feel better wearing the pearls , prettier. Trust me. Keep them as long as you need them; give them back when you don’t. I’ll be there, too, so don’t hesitate to look for me, if you need me. The food will be adequate, at least. I think the last time I visited, Rosalind made us all drink celery shots. She is always trying something healthy. It’s sweet.”
She rose, patting my arm as she headed for the door. “I’ll knock in an hour. We’ll head over a little bit early. You don’t have to eat with them every night, and my grandsons likely won’t most nights. See you in a bit.”
I stared at her pearls while she walked away, but stopped her before she made it out the door. “Mrs. Lent,” I called and she spun, hands on hips.
“Dina. You know that.”
I nodded, but my anxiety was a factor, so I sucked in a couple of painful breaths before I managed to make myself finish. “In my reading, you just said you wouldn’t ever see the Lents again. Obviously, you did, so you must have gotten through that, right?”
She lifted her eyebrows. “What an interesting place for you to be reading right now. Tonight. Yes, at the time, I thought I wouldn’t ever speak to them or see them again. As you said, obviously I did. It wasn’t always easy, but it was beautiful.”
