Page 28 of Dahlias, Sapphires, and Cool Autumn Dusk
Ouch.I stepped back, his point hitting me squarely in the ego. None of them needed to answer to me, and he wasn’t wrong. As soon as I was out of his way, he stormed to the back of the house. My heart beat so fast I could hear it thrum in my ears. He usually wasn’t so cruel, not even when we didn’t know one another and he stole my wallet.
The shower came on from his room, and I jerked at the noise.
Snagging my backpack, I decided I didn’t want to stick around for him to tell me off again. I would just go to school early, sit outside, and wait to get into the building.Better than waiting here with Phoenix, anyway.
I kept my head down and my heart sat firmly in my stomach as I tried to think of what I did to deserve his attitude. Did he just hate going to school with me? Was I annoying or something?
I kept my head down the entire walk, only paying attention to the red and green indicators before crossing roads. The guys hardly paid attention to them, instead seeming to instinctively know it was time to go or stop, but I wasn’t that well versed in traffic.
When I made it to school, others milled around talking to one another. The sound of wheels behind me on the sidewalk made me turn around quickly, so I wouldn’t be run over.
Abruptly, the skateboard stopped in front of me, and I looked up at Phoenix. His wet hair and half tied tie made me think he rushed.
“What the fuck, Alatheia. You couldn’t wait for me?”
Are you serious?For a second, I considered not answering him, gaping like a startled fish. Then my fury caught up to my mouth.
“Why would I wait for you after you said those things to me?” I shook my head. “Why would I stand there and wait to take more?”
He threw his hands in the air. “What? I didn’t say anything that awful. I think maybe you’re being?—”
I put out my hand to stop him and he actually instantly went silent. “You were mean. Cruel. You treated me like a Poor Relation, and you know you did, because you did it on purpose. Whatever you intended to say, you can stop right there. Don’t belittle us both or bother trying to gaslight me. You owe me nothing, which you made clear today. I don’t even deserve a text back when I’m worried about you.”
Phoenix’s façade seemed to crumble right then, outside of Pullman, where we stood on the street. I swallowed, not allowing myself to feel bad for him, despite his raw and bare expression.He was an asshole, I reminded myself.
“You hurt me,” I finished.
Then I turned my back on him and headed toward the stairs.
“Alatheia,” his voice caught me, so I turned around. “I’m sorry, Red. I don’t know…why I did that.”
“I don’t know why you did, either.” I popped the earbuds Barrett gave me in my ears to end the conversation. I would listen to music for a while, tune him out.
He grabbed my arm. “Can we talk about this?”
I shook my head. “I need some time. I don’t really want to talk to you right now, not after I spent the whole night afraid. I suppose I’ll reach a point where I’ll just be able to keep on keeping on the way that your brothers do when you spend the night at Jo’s or whatever. Until then, I won’t bother you with my expectations. I’ll leave you alone.”
I spun and left him outside, pretending I had somewhere to go. Looking busy was a great way to avoid facing being alone, a lesson I learned a long time ago.
I managedto find my classroom, take my seat, and keep my head down. The musician we planned to see Friday night wailed in my ears, and I hoped to keep her there until I absolutely had to remove the headphones.
As I pulled out my laptop, Phoenix knocked on my desk, grabbing my attention.
I stared up at him, shocked he would proceed with our argument in class.
He leaned close to say, “Please don’t leave me alone.” His gaze implored me. “Pleasedon’t. You are not and will never be the Poor Relation to me. Not ever. I spent the night at Joe’s because I can’t face all of this. I can’t do another year of this. I don’t know if I can make it.”
The rest of the class settled into their seats, and Tiffany grabbed my arm. “More to show you. You sure you don’t think it sucks?”
I mumbled something likeof course notbut I kept my gaze on Phoenix. To him, I said, “Going to Joe’s doesn’t fix that. We had Chinese food. Julian finished his play. Barrett played thepiano. Jer fell asleep in front of the television. Maybe being with us would have helped.”
“Well?” Bethany said as she spun in a circle in front of my desk. “Do you like my hair?”
She had picked the up-do out of the three styles she had sent me. Marco threw his bag down and stared at Bethany. “Did you do something new to your hair?”
She threw her pen at him, and he laughed.
Phoenix took my hand for a second and linked them between the desks. “I’m sorry.”
