Page 44 of Dahlias, Sapphires, and Cool Autumn Dusk
Jules poked him in the shoulder. “Not our fault if you miss out then, so own it.”
We climbed into the large SUV in our requisite places, as if we assigned a seating order for car rides. I sat sandwiched between the twins in the middle, Barrett chose the back, and Phoenix sat up front with our driver. I smiled, enjoying the routineness of it all.Same can feel safe.
I wondered if they kept the seating order from the times before I joined them, so I asked Barrett, “Where do you sit when I’m not here?”
“In the car?” He shook his head. “I don’t go that many places with them, if I’m honest. We were all starting to sort of live separate lives until Julian found you.”
The blue-eyed twin took my hand. “I did and I will gladly take credit for it. Still, if you want to be technical, Granny found her. I just had the good sense to wake up and pay attention when I met her.”
I blushed, flattered at the sentiment, but it was hard for me to picture them apart. They functioned so much better, and seemed more at ease, as a unit. It begged the question, though—would Barrett be happier just going to college? Without all the added family drama, surely his freshman year would’ve been full of adventures he would miss out on if he stayed at home. Would Phoenix have felt less pressure if he didn’t have to cover up his relationship with me? Are the twins missing out on something, too?
I chewed on my lip, the familiar guilt making me worry. I worried over whether I should feel guilty over taking all of their attention just for myself. Surely it was at the very least greedy? Insecurity was a constant presence for me, regardless of the topic, though, and I knew it as a weakness I needed to find a way to conquer. Maybe someday I would have the kind of security of Celeste Demille and Dina.
I’m not anywhere near there yet.
11
The brownstone towered above us, eating up what appeared to be most of a city block, nearly the size of Pullman. I blinked up at the elaborate facade with awe and reverence, thinking when their family died off, maybe some other private school would buy the estate.
Wealth didn’t intimidate me anymore, at least. Not since I created thePoor Relationto berate the people who hurt me for being poor. Somewhere in creating dialogue for her, it stopped being the end game for me.Love is what matters.Self-determination.The Lents showed me both were possible. I smiled a secretive smile as we headed up the steps, thinking about my secret life with their family, who maintained constant secrecy about something so pivotal to who they were as people.Money isn’t as scary when you know secrets, I decided.
Teenagers pushed in and out of the front door, nudging past each other as they passed. Someone wearing a Pullman uniform slid down the banister, hit the ground then laughed to get up and repeat the ride. The level of noise before entering meant they didn’t give a shit about authorities getting called, which usually said a lot about a party.
Truly the purviewof the very, very wealthy.
“This is huge,” I muttered to myself, as if I had to at least confess it aloud.
Julian chuckled and said, “They make us seem like we’re the Poor Relation.”
“Really?” I couldn’t imagine anyone making him feel small.
He laughed outright. “Hell yes. My uncle Stephen always tells us how we should remember there’s richer, hotter, more successful people than us. We should always remember that although we eat those who would harm us, there are people who can just as easily eat us, too.”
I didn’t want to attend that kind of party, if I was honest. I wasn't interested in swimming with sharks, and I certainly didn’t want to swim in waters where sharks feared to swim. Still, I followed them inside with my mask in place, hoping we weren’t stumbling into some kind of trap.
I hoped my expression would come across as distant and unapproachable, yet not overall interesting in the first place. It worked in Chicago, at least until Ted destroyed things for me.
As soon as we passed the threshold of the doorway, someone called, “Barrett!”
The oldest Lent genuinely smiled as he got swallowed by a group of what appeared to be his actual friends.
“I heard you’re not sleeping there. I’m so jealous,” I overheard one of them say. “My parents made me do dorm life.”
I left him to it, following Phoenix, who stopped to greet a bunch of people I at least recognized from school. I didn’t know their names, but they were familiar enough faces, especially compared to the seniors, who were totally new to me. Normally, they stayed in their own hallway, so I never saw them.
Phoenix said, “Hey, I need to meet up with someone. I’ll come find you shortly, or send someone after me if you want to leave early.”
“Have fun,” I said, resisting the urge to kiss him goodbye by only about a heartbeat.
His gaze said he saw my hesitation and recognized it before I covered it, so he squeezed my fingers quickly.
“Thank you. You mean everything.”
As he vanished into the crowd, I spotted the twins surrounded by their teammates. I didn’t see my own team, so I thought about joining them for about a second.
A hand grabbed me, and I spun to face Bethany. “Alatheia!” she practically screamed. “I amsohappy you’re here.”
If her breath didn’t give it away, I saw a beer in her hand as she wobbled into me.Okay, she’s drunk.Then again, that seemed the consensus rather than the unusual for the crowd. “Bethany,” I smiled, glad of the familiar face. I added, “Are you okay?”
