Page 5 of Dahlias, Sapphires, and Cool Autumn Dusk
I couldn’t turn around, couldn’t help them, and couldn’t do anything other than bite down on my fist and breathe. I blinked fast, trying to keep tears from falling. Jeremy pressed a hand on my back, so I let him lead me away from the closest living relative to my late mother. Her twin. Identical. Identical to my mother, who I missed so much my chest hurt with it.
I shouted, spinning on my heel and releasing my fist from my mouth. “Why do you hate me?” I kept my eyes closed, tears pouring out despite my attempts. I couldn’t control any of it anymore. “Why?” I couldn’t look at her, so I just waited, my heartbeat sounding too loud and too fast in comparison to the tick of the clock.
She didn’t answer me. Instead, a distant door slammed.
“Let me look at you, Princess. Look at me.” When I blinked open my still tearing eyes, Jeremy held four pairs of skirts in his hands. Despite that, he examined my wounded face with hisgaze. “Bet that hurts. I’m so sorry, but you’re going to be okay. I…I want her dead. I meanactuallydead.”
“Can we go? As soon as Barrett comes back out.” As if I called him into being, he appeared, carrying more clothing. “Can we go now?”
“Are you okay?” He sounded frantic. “I can’t believe that just happened.”
I could.It is always a matter of time.
“No red mark.”Phoenix ran his fingers through my hair, and I laid my head on his lap. His gaze might be a bit more vacant than I liked, but he wasn’t lost, which meant a lot. He stroked my hair over and over, seemingly enchanted by the repeated motion. “They let her live. They have so much more restraint than I do.”
I once thought he might strike the PI with his skateboard, and the guy didn’t even mean to hit me. He didn’t though, not turning to violence when his temper got hot. Phoenix might be impulsive, but he wasn’t stupid. He might talk a big game, but I knew he wouldn’t have hurt my aunt, either.
I sniffed. “I feel like such a big baby. I got slapped, so what? I need to get over it. I’ve had worse.”
He met my gaze. “I hate knowing that even more. Still, I’m glad they both threatened her. I’m also glad she knows our position now, too. Kit knew they had some idea the power we wielded, but not all of it. Barrett probably emailed him.” I’m not sure why that made him laugh, but it did. “Got to cover our bases. Anyway, you’re staying and that’s the bottom line. Sorry I wasn’t there.”
I took a long breath. “Are you going to be okay tomorrow?”
“No. I’m never okay in school. But I’ll be. . .alert? If that’s what you’re asking me. Right now, everything is beautifully blurry, but even I know I can’t get away with it at school. I hate school.”
I remembered getting to see the video game he was creating when we were alone a few weeks before, and I couldn’t help finding him utterly talented and brilliant. In his game, he made the zombies the good guys, and humans were the ones who didn’t understand. Humans tried to kill them, when they just tried to keep their community safe. A muted game, but he intended it to have very little noise as a finished product. Just breathing, while they tried to explain to a world that wouldn’t listen.
The project reminded me of the man, a reflection while a creation at the same time.
I hated how pain chased him constantly, as real and visible as a ghost that lingered behind him in shadow form.
I understood the drugs, even if they scared me—he avoided his pain with them. He hated using them, but he didn’t know another way.
I hated that he thought it made him a zombie.
If he ever did anything with the game, it would sell a billion copies. Despite my easy acknowledgment of his gift, his imposter syndrome was loud, so for some reason, he couldn’t see it.
He stroked my hair again, his gaze as peaceful as it ever became. “But it will be better this year. You’ll be there, and that will make it much better.” He smiled, a wistful expression. “Julian suggested you be his girlfriend, with him as the public face, the way Kit is for Mom. He intended to tell everyone at lunch tomorrow. He told us last night after you fell asleep.”
Wow.I used to wake up at the slightest noise, but apparently, they shared conversations while I was out.I really do sleep better with them here.
“And?” I wasn’t sure why he decided to tell me, especially if they all decided already.
Phoenix’s lips curled into a devious grin. “I told him if he did that, I would kiss you on the steps of Pullman at opening bell. That way, everyone would know you actually belonged to me.”
I lifted my head, heat flooding my cheeks as my heart beat faster. “Oh, I…see. So, you didn’t like that idea?”
“No. You’reminein public or you’re no one’s. Jeremy said, if I intended to do that, then he would post on social media everywhere, telling the world you are his girlfriend.”
Double wow.All of this while I was sleeping?“This is complicated?”
Phoenix nodded, still stroking my hair calmly. “Barrett pointed out it would be best to just say you were his, since he’s not there. Besides, as the eldest, someday you’ll be his wife, legally. Traditionally, the oldest male marries the wife legally. Things kind of dissolved at that point, so we had to move to text to avoid yelling at each other.”
I put my head back down, chin hitting my neck with a snap. “Have we made a terrible mistake?”
His thumb stroked across my forehead. “No, Red. We’re good. I think. . .I think ultimately we will do what you want. When you figure out what that is, you’ll tell us.”
What I want?I barely understood how the relationship could work. Honestly, I still wobbled between feeling insanely lucky and like I was being terrifically greedy by keeping them all to myself. But I got off his lap, leaning over to kiss him before I got up totally. He touched my un-slapped cheek with his thumb.
