Page 25 of A Reindeer Wish for Love
“You don’t understand.I had to reimburse my friends for the free room and board and it was a lot.I had to catch up on my student loans and this suit.Why did I have to buy a suit like this.What good did it do me.Now I’m going to be out of a job because your wife is going to hold your feet to the fire, blackmail you, or whatever women do when they find out their straight husband is in bed with a man.”
I knew this wasn’t a joke, but the way Clay said it had me laughing.“I have enough finances to take care of the things you need, and you if it comes to that, which it won’t.”
“How can you laugh?”he said with a serious glare, his eyes narrowed.
“Because none of what you said is true.I’m not going to let her prevent me from being with you.”I sat on the side of a trembling Clay and brought him into my arms.He laid his head on my shoulder, but I felt the tension in his body.“Forget all of this and come to bed.”
“I can’t.I need to go home and relax.I can’t relax here.It’s not my place and if I lose my job, I won’t be able to get a place of my own.I live with my friends.That’s who you hired, a man who couldn’t afford to live on his own.”
“I don’t care if you have a job or don’t have one—”
“You don’t understand.I need to work at my profession.I struggled for this, and I don’t want to lose it, and I can’t take your assurance because I just met you and I don’t know you.”I didn’t know how to feel about those words, but I understood his dilemma.
“If that’s how you feel, I’ll have my driver take you home.”
“No.I’ll call a cab,” Clay said, reaching for his phone as he paced and began dressing.
“Is there anything I can say to you that will make you change your mind?”When I glanced up Clay had dressed in his shirt, but left off the jacket and tie.
“Do you think the store will take back this suit?”I grinned because he must have been making a joke.
“Maybe if there weren’t any stains around the zipper.”He glanced down.
“It’s not your fault.Don’t blame yourself for something you couldn’t control.”
“This is my fault.I wanted you more than I wanted to keep this job.”
“If anything, it was my fault because I trusted her.You can’t live with someone all these years and not trust them, but she had been deceitful since I met her, and I overlooked it, and now—”
He cut me off.“Now I will pay a big price.I guess that’s what happens when you want something too much.”He placed his phone in his pocket.“I’m going to wait outside.”
“Let me walk you to the elevator.Can I kiss you first.”
I didn’t wait for him to reply, I pulled him in and pressed my body next to his and his mouth blended into mine.His tongue gave way to my lips sucking and pulling at his tongue.We were breathing the same breath as if one of us was drowning and the other had to save the other with one breath of life.When Clay pulled away he was breathing hard as his chest stirred up and down before he caught his breath.
I placed my finger and pushed away his hair from his eyes.“Don’t worry.I won’t let anything happen to you.Trust me that I will make things better for you.Do you trust me?”
Clay shook his head, but I didn’t believe he had any confidence that I wouldn’t let anything happen to him.
“I will be out of town for a week and when I return, I will have my divorce, and we can be together and your job will be secure.”
We strolled to the elevator holding hands.Clay’s hands were limp and his gaze far off.He was truly worried.When he strode outside with me in my robe, I watched him walk beyond the gate and hail a passing cab then climb into it.He didn’t wait for the car he’d called earlier that had pulled up waited and then the driver took off with a look of disappointment etched on his worn face.
