Page 35 of Operator
That means he meant everything he said about us being over for good. That we can never be in a relationship. That it wouldn’t last. Maybe he was right, and I was only fooling myself.
I stare blindly at the TV, still unsure of what we’re watching and determined to pretend like everything is normal. Maybe, if I keep faking it, I’ll actually start to believe it.
As though she can sense the tension between us, Violet has a fitful night. Up every other hour and nursing damn near constantly the whole time, I don’t get much sleep to work through my feelings. In fact, when the sun rises, I’m more twisted up than ever, having spent most of the night fretting about Violet and the rest obsessing about Callum. Not to mention being haunted by memories of the past. Seeing Ian’s face again and hearing his voice…it shakes me. It’s been a long time since I dreamt about him, and it hurts losing my best friend all over again.
From what I know about Callum in the mornings is that he runs. That’s how he’s always been. In fact, is it what I’m banking on. If he won’t leave, then I’ll just have to wait until he loses interest. He may be stubborn, but so am I.
Violet wakes up at sunrise. She’s grumpy about it, but there’s no coaxing her back to sleep. I get her changed and ready and do the same for myself. I don’t do much more than exchange sleeping yoga pants to daytime yoga pants and throw my hair up into a messy bun, but there’s something about the distinction that clears the fog from my brain. I could spend the day in bed with her relaxing and being lazy, but we’re both too restless to be cooped up in the bedroom all day. It would only make both of us more irritable.
Plus, I can’t let Callum know how much our kiss affected me. Maybe if I treat it like nothing, he’ll come to realize what a mistake it was. He has to see reason. Things can’t continue between us. What would everyone think? I know we’re in the south, but this isn’t Alabama for God’s sake. I can’t switch from one brother to another. Not again. I got enough flack when Callum and I split up and I started dating Ian. Everyone would lose their mind if I dated Callum again.
What happened between us wasn’t well known, but even secrets are public knowledge in a small town. Especially since Ian died.
Bunny would kill me. Ian was her golden child. She was ecstatic when we got married. And the realization that a part of Ian would live was what broke her out of her funk after he died. She never understood Callum. They tolerate each other on the best of days. The only reason he came back was for his dad. And probably guilt.
I’m not arrogant enough to believe he came back for me.
There may be a part of me wants to think he wanted me that much. An evil, sick part of me.
I had the best man in the world. What makes me think I deserve a second chance with anyone, let alone his brother?
Voices snap me out of my reverie, and I cradle the baby in my arms as I move to the living room to investigate. There I find Bunny and Callum end an intense conversation. Bunny straightens, her frustrated expression smoothing into unrestrained glee at the sight of Violet. She lifts her hands and I transfer the baby automatically. A slight twinge of anxiety clenches my insides, but I forced myself to ignore it. Much as I want to hog Violet all to myself, Bunny deserves time with her as much as I do. She hasn’t been so vibrant since Ian died.
“There’s my sweet girl,” Bunny exclaims as she cuddles Violet to her chest. “Did you have a good night?”
I move to make a pot of coffee to give my system a much-needed jump start. “She had a rough one. She couldn’t get settled. Hopefully she’ll get a good nap today,” I say over my shoulder.
“I was telling Callum maybe you’d be better off staying at our house. That way, I could help you out and tend to the baby while you rested.” Bunny lifts her voice so I can hear her from the living room.
My fingers clench around the mug as I rejoin them. I give Bunny what I hope is a grateful smile. “I appreciate that, Bunny, but we are okay here. I expected some sleepless nights with a new baby. Thank you so much for the offer, though. I’ll keep it in mind.” As much as I would love to get some uninterrupted sleep, the thought of leaving Violet alone right now terrifies me. I’ve lost enough. I could never risk losing her, too.
Bunny opens her mouth like she wants to object, but a stern look from Callum has her closing it again. She forces a smile. “I understand. Maybe when she’s a little older.”
My shoulders relax. “Of course. You won’t be able to get rid of her.”
As smoothly as though he’s done it a thousand times before, Callum maneuvers the baby from his mother and Violet settles into his arms, immediately falling asleep. Of course she does. She wouldn’t do that for me, but the moment he has her, she’s out like a light. I glare at the snoring baby. Callum catches my eye and grins. Because I want to grin back, I move my attention to Bunny.
She’s watching Callum and me with a line between her brows. The beginning of a grin immediately falls from my face.
“Was there something you needed help with today?” The words come out a little too fast to be casual. “Todd is coming home soon, right?”
Bunny’s gaze sharpens. She’s too perceptive for her own good.Dammit. “The doctors haven’t said yet. Could be another week or two. And I just wanted to come by and see how you were doing. Check on you and my girl.”
“I appreciate that,” I repeat. I need to stop doing that before she gets even more suspicious. She’s not my mom, but I’d hate to disappoint her. “You take so much good care of us. I think we’ve pretty much got it right now. But if you want to come by tomorrow, you can snuggle her during her nap. She’s normally best around ten in the morning.”
Bunny brightens, and the directness in her eyes softens. “I would love that. I’ll see you at ten tomorrow.”
“Thank you, Bunny. See you tomorrow.” I hold my breath as she gathers her things to leave.
Bunny gives Callum one last significant look, kisses the baby on the cheek, and then flounces out at the door. After it closes behind her, I turn to Callum and say, “What was that about?” My heart is still pounding. What if she’d showed up yesterday when Callum and I were practically having sex on the kitchen table? When did my life become such a mess?
Callum’s gaze is just as watchful as Bunny’s had been. I wonder if he realizes how alike the two of them are. He dismisses my concern with a lifted shoulder. “Just Bunny being Bunny. Sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong.”
But I can’t let it drop as easily. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
I have to keep my hands busy, so I move to the kitchen, and he follows me. Daisy is close on his heels and settles at his feet as he sways the baby back and forth. He seems so natural doing it, you’d think he was born to be a father. Blindly, I reach for the fridge, and it takes several tries before I can focus my gaze long enough to find the eggs and bacon for breakfast. I find now that I’m no longer pregnant, my appetite has started to return.
“Are you hungry?” I ask when he doesn’t answer my question. The silence between us makes me twitchy.
