Page 23 of Shielding His Heart
“They’re going to make my hair turn gray before I’m forty-five.”
Tana giggles, making me smile. “I guess you are outnumbered here, aren’t you?”
“I’ve gotten used to being a girl dad. I think I wear it kind of well. Besides, I love being surrounded by my girls.”
There’s a contemplative pause, and then she says, “Did you want to have more children?”
My head snaps in her direction. When I can find my breath again, I say, “What?” is the only thing my tongue can spit out.
“I’m just curious. You never wanted to try for a boy?”
“It never mattered to me what we had. Girl or boy. You had rough pregnancies, and Gemma’s birth was really hard on you. What I cared more about was that you were safe and healthy. So no, I don’t think I want to have more children.”
“It’s strange to know that they came from me and yet not know them,” she admits, the vulnerability stark on her face.
I take my time washing the next plate. I don’t wanna say the wrong thing, not when she’s opening up to me like this. The old Tana was so self-sufficient and self-assured that I didn’t often have to be a shoulder for her like this. This new side of her is. . . Honestly, more attractive than I thought it would be. I always admired her strength and leaned on it more than once. But seeing her like this is new and makes my overprotective drive crank up to new levels.
“I don’t know what to say other than I understand how hard this must be for you. You aren’t alone in all of this. We have to lean on each other. You can lean on me, Tana. It doesn’t matter how heavy the burden is. I’ll carry it for you.”
She tilts her head to the side and studies me. “Is that how it was for you—I mean us. . . before?”
“You mean trusting each other to share the hard stuff?” I ask.
Tana nods emphatically. “Yeah, how do you trust someone else to take care of you? To not drop the ball when it’s important?”
I’m not the best with words. I do better with actions, but I don’t want to mess this up or have her close up on me, so I try my best for the right thing to say. “I guess it takes time and the willingness to be hurt. A leap of faith. I don’t expect that from you right away. All I’m asking for right now is just that. . . time.”
“Well, we’ve got plenty of that, considering I have no life to speak of at the moment.” She changes the subject. “How are you handling everything?”
I gave her a half-smile. “It’s funny. The guys asked me that about you this morning. I’m doing as well as I can be.”
“Do you mind if I keep asking you questions? I’m just curious about you and the girls and everything. I do want to get to know you. And them. I want to know the person I used to be. Maybe it’ll help me figure out who I’m supposed to be now.”
“Of course you can ask questions. I’m an open book. Ask me whatever you want.”
“You may regret that in the future.” She softens the tease with a genuine smile.
CHAPTER12
TANA
Ihave to give it to him. He’s answering every question with honesty and kindness. Even the sensitive ones. In the hour since the girls have gone to bed, we’ve talked about almost everything.
“Did you always want to be a first responder?”
Alec takes a sip of his beer and stretches his neck from side to side. “No. I toyed with a lot of career paths after I got out of the military. This one seemed to check all the boxes. I liked the idea of serving my community. Some people don’t really like the emergency care, but I find it fascinating. I like the challenge.”
Maybe that’s why he’s taken everything that’s happened in stride. He’s used to these kinds of situations. Probably not when they occur to someone he loves, but he’s remained steadfast. That I learned quickly. He didn’t hesitate to step up in any way possible when he realized I had amnesia. He took time off work to see me and take me to every appointment when I needed physical therapy after the accident.
Maybe that’s how a husband is supposed to treat his wife, but it still surprises me. Am I the kind of person who could do that for someone else? Be that selfless? I don’t know. That’s the plain truth.
I just don’t know.
“What about me? What did I want to do?”
He picks at the label on the beer bottle. “For the most part, you were content to stay home with the girls. At least until they got older. Then you got restless. You liked to fill your time with activities and trips, and you hated to be bored. What started as a hobby making things for the girls in your spare time just sort of evolved into a business and then exploded from there. We were both in awe of your success at first. But I shouldn’t have been surprised. You often went after things and didn’t stop until you succeeded. Kind of like how you went after me.” I give her a cheeky smile.
“And you liked that?” I can’t help asking. I’m curious. The more I learn about him, the more intrigued I become. This man would do so much for someone who doesn’t even remember him or was even remotely nice to him at first. His patience and gentleness with the girls. His work.
