Page 35 of Aviator
“I’m sorry, Dean.” I touch his arm until he looks at me. “Truly.”
“Thanks. It’s been a long time since I talked about them to anyone. I guess I thought if I mentioned them, it would make it hurt worse.”
“Does it?”
“It never stopped hurting. Not a day since they died. But now it’s a little easier to remember the good things.”
I lean against a tree nearby. “Like what?”
“Penny used to watch this YouTube lady. She’d do nursery rhymes and stuff. Apparently, Georgie spent a week straight playing this Daddy song so that the next time they called me, she could say her first word. Daddy. I’ve been through some shit, but hearing that little girl say Daddy? There wasn’t anything like it.”
I’m not going to cry. I’mnot.“I bet you were one of those dads who seemed all intimidating but were really a marshmallow inside.”
His responding smile is soft and sad and does crazy things to my insides that I don’t examine. “Oh, for sure. There wasn’t anything they wanted that they didn’t get. I was gone for them. That’s why I haven’t been with anyone since.”
That makes me straighten. I don’t know how long it’s been, but it has to have been a long time.
“No one?” I clarify.
“No one,” he confirms.
“Wow.” I’m dumbfounded. “That’s, I mean. I don’t know what to say.”
He lifts a shoulder, not meeting my gaze. “Once you’ve been in a relationship like that, everything else seems like a waste of time. And even if I were interested in being with someone, it just meant setting myself up for the possibility of being hurt.”
I think back to Garrett and how much it hurt. “Yeah, I can see that. I don’t blame you at all. There’s no timeline for grief.”
He nods and then pushes back to his feet after a while. We walk in silence, his admissions weighing heavily on my heart. I keep stealing glances at him, feeling like I’ve had the wool removed from my eyes, and now I’m seeing him clearly for the first time.
This is a man who was so devoted to his family that he became isolated to deal with the grief of losing them. He must have loved them truly, deeply. It feels a little petty to think this, but Georgia was a very lucky woman to experience that, if only for a short time. No one deserves to lose the person they love or have their life cut tragically short. It makes me realize if I hadn’t survived the crash, I would have died without experiencing a connection like that.
If I’m being honest with myself, I know the reason I didn’t want to go dress shopping wasn’t because of my size. Sure, I can be insecure about being a little overweight, but I’m beautiful, and I know that in my heart. I was reluctant to do any planning for the wedding to the point where we hadn’t even set a date. Maybe part of me knew Garrett hadn’t been the one. Because when it comes down to it, I don’t think we would have had a relationship like Dean had with Georgia. If we had, I would have been more upset when I caught him cheating. It hasn’t even been long since I caught him, and I’m already over losing him. Sure, I mourn what could have been and the man I thought he was, but I’m not torn up over it like I should be if our relationship was meant to be.
Lost in thought, I don’t realize the terrain has changed under my feet until Dean grabs me by the arm.
“What?” I say with a frown until my surroundings penetrate my thoughts. We’re standing in the middle of a gravel service road.
We made it.
I turn to Dean, and I don’t know who takes the first step, but before I know it, I’m launching myself into his arms, and he pulls me tight to his warm, hard body.
We made it.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
DEAN
Her body fitsagainst mine like she was made for me. It would be easy to write off how I react because it’s been so long since I’ve wanted a woman or because I’m feeling vulnerable after talking about Georgia for the first time, but it’s about damn time I started being honest with myself.
I pull her closer instead of pushing her away like I would any other woman because I want her.
I want her body under my hands. Her taste in my mouth. Her sweet, wet heat wrapped around me. I want her chatter to fill the emptiness and the sunshine in her eyes to brighten all the shadows that have clung to me for so long. If she thinks she’s going to walk away as soon as she gets out of here, she’ll quickly learn I’m a man used to getting what I want.
My arms go around her waist, and I use her forward momentum to crush her to me. Her generous breasts press against my chest, and her thighs brush mine. My hand goes to the back of her head and cups beneath her ponytail, cradling her head against me. Suddenly, my throat is tight, and it takes effort to draw air into my lungs.
I never thought I’d want to hold another woman like this, let her get so close to me. . . but maybe I was waiting for the right one. Maybe I was waiting for Kenna.
She pulls back a little to look up at me, and the light in her eyes shines like the sunrise after a long, dark night. “I can’t believe we’re finally going to get out of here,” she says.
