Page 77 of In Between Darkness
I peer over the edge and see Jaxon standing with Mr Knight, Elijah and Veronica.
“Tell them that we’re bonded,” Craize says, and I nod up at him again.
“Yes, Jaxon.” I smile and look down at them. “I’m fine. It appears Craize has chosen me to bond with.” I watch as Jaxon’s eyebrows raise in disbelief.
“Perch yourself between my shoulders. I will take you down to them,” he demands, and I do as he says.
His wing feels soft yet bony and strong like iron. The ridge between his shoulder blades dips, and my buttocks sink into it. I hold on to the tufts of his white fur, each strand like wire. Craize takes the long way down and swoops around the podium in spiral movements. The breeze brushes through my hair, and I feel like I can enjoy it this time. I can’t help but laugh as we descend from the platform. He lands and tilts his wing. I slide down with more ease this time, and the astounded group stares befuddled at me. I look back at Craize, who bows his head towards me. I do the same, and he leaps into the air, disappearing into the clouds.
Jaxon pulls me into a hug. “Thank the Gods. I don’t have to tell River his girlfriend died,” he says, laughing.
Has River not told him about our disastrous date? Maybe he hasn’t had the chance yet. I laugh back at him.
“Not girlfriend, but I get your point.”
He laughs again, and Elijah gives me a nod. It’s nice to see how much they care. Mr Knight approaches me and points at me jokingly.
“I knew Craize liked you. You have progressed quicker than any of my other students,” he says as we all begin walking back to the floating steps. “If you like, I can squeeze in some extra lessons just for you. Craize will definitely want you around more.”
“Yes, I would like that,” I say, smiling from ear to ear.
The more time I can spend with Craize, the more I can find out about my mother and Luca and…well, everything. The adrenaline is wearing off, and my body feels sluggish and tired. Well, that was a wild ride. Nala is not going to believe this one.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
It’s eight p.m. now. My limbs thanked me when I showered and changed into something more comfortable. The bed welcomed me and soothed the tension in my joints. I sigh deeply and throw my head back onto my pillow. My shoulders finally relax as my mind calms. I am bonded to an elion, and not just any elion, the leader of the pack, and he knew my mother. I finally feel like, after all these years of being in the dark, Craize and Oriah are my guiding light, my sense of direction. The truth cannot cower in the shadows any longer… There is nowhere to hide. A warm smile kindles on my face. I am no longer alone.
The embers of my smile hiss out. I see his face again, the ugly pill trying to regurgitate from the depths of my despair. I try to navigate the sea of guilt again, to justify my actions, but I still feel terrible. It has been hard avoiding River today. I saw him a few times, and he tried to approach me, but I pretended I didn’t see him and walked off in the opposite direction. He looked hurt and confused, and it broke me.
I know Jaxon would have mentioned the Craize thing to him by now; the entire school already knows. I know this because of the way they stare. I mean, people stared before…with the mismatched eyes and wild curls, but only when I looked away, a quick glance to satisfy their curiosity. This is different. They stare when I am watching without shame. They whisper about me and don’t look away. Their eyes, a mixture of fear and jealousy. I can’t tell whether they think I’m really cool or just afreak, but either way, I don’t think they’ll be messing with me now. Nala thinks it’s amazing. She’s been asking me all kinds of questions about Craize with awe and pride, not jealousy. I even heard her cussing out a girl who called me weird. Speaking of Nala, she is staying at Charlie’s again tonight, which puts me in the clear to meet Ryder in the archives. Hopefully, River and his friends aren’t hanging out down there.
How has my life come to this? All this sneaking around? It’s not just grating at my conscience, it’s hacking at it with a machete. I bend myself in half over my bed to slide my mother’s red suitcase out. The zip is stiff and fights me as I tug at it, but it gives in and surrenders to me. I find the key chain and open the locket, the photo of Mum and Luca stares back at me. I smooth out the crumples from the years it’s spent folded up. My eyes dampen as I look back at them with longing. I wish it had been different. I wish there was a way to bring back the Starkind and have my parents alive. They both made such a huge sacrifice for me, and for them, I must be strong.
I ponder it for a moment and can’t help but smile. They look so happy. I wonder what my dad would think of all this. I mean the man who raised me. Should I stop calling him dad? No, he is my dad. He’s the one who nursed me when I was sick, saw my first steps, taught me how to fight and how to ride a bike. Luca might be my real father, but Leon is still my dad. Maybe I can talk to him soon, when I’ve mastered the portal. That way, I could get away without anyone noticing I’m gone. Speaking of the portal, I was thinking of testing this bad boy out. I ignite the orb in my hand and stare at it intriguingly. Now that I know what this thing does, I can appreciate it more. Like Ryder said, you have to go within to tame the beast. It does not scare me anymore.
“Oriah, are you there?” I question aloud, still staring at the photograph of my parents.
‘Yes, Child.’
“Say I wanted to go somewhere else with this. Not Astra Nova… somewhere on this plane. How would I do it?” I question, still studying the blackened ball.
‘Think about where you want to go. If you’ve been there before, it’s easier to make the connection. Envision your surroundings. You should see the orb start to change.’Her voice rings in my ears. Sounds simple enough.
My body tenses as I put my mind to work. I squeeze my eyes shut and imagine my destination, its walls, the dry, crusted brick, the concrete floors and steep stairs, the shape of the door and its hidden contents. My eyes open one at a time. It worked. The vortex hovers over my palm, and I can just about make out the image of the dimly lit office in the archives. The energy pools like a vacuum and enlarges the picture. This is incredible. The void adjusts so I can see all angles of the room. Thank the Gods there is no one else down there. I do as Oriah said and transfer the portal onto a surface. The bathroom door seems sturdy enough. Fear aside, I stretch my arm out to test the waters and dip the tip of my finger into its whirlpool. The void feels cold and swallows my finger up. I pull it back out and examine my adventurous finger; it’s unscathed. I know it is safe, but there is still trepidation in my nature. Fuck it. I submit to the energy’s pull and ride its wave as I enter the office. The portal shuts behind me.
My heart thumps in fear that River and his friends will decide to come down here. I must move quickly. I pause for a moment to recalibrate and get my bearings. Transferring from one place to another so quickly definitely takes a while to get used to. Once I have regained composure, I head over to the drawer containing The Soldark. My hands wrap around its bronze handle, and I give it a yank. It does not budge. Oh, yeah. Silly me. I remember its thirst for my blood. My eyes follow the etchings of the starson the wooden edges of the desk. The Starkind really love a finger prick. I run my fingers over its ridges just as I did before and brace for the pain. I wince as the sharp needle point returns and the blood begins to pool. I place my throbbing finger in my mouth. The familiar click of the drawer convinces me to pry it open. I am relieved to see the black box in all its glory. ‘The Soldark’. I hear the shift of the contents shuffling against the walls of the box as I pick it up. It is heavy. My left arm wraps around it tightly as I conjure the portal back to my room.
The vortex opens and stands proud in my hand. I take a moment to envision my dorm room — the colours, the smells, the textures. I can just about see the white sheets of my bed through the portal. Shit! There’s Nala. What the hell? She said she was staying at Charlie’s again. She is holding a duffel bag and pulling clothes out of it. I watch as she saunters across the room, taking her time unloading the clothes into her washing bag. I hold my breath as she sits on her bed for a minute and looks over at mine, deep in thought. Her expression changes; she looks confused and tilts her head to the side. I feel my heart thump in my chest. Can she see me? She begins to walk in the direction of the void, staring intensely through it, like she is looking right at me. She inches closer and closer, and every part of my body tenses. Part of me wants her to see me so I can take my finger off the trigger and tell her everything without blowing anything up into oblivion. I want to tell her that the Starkind exist, that I am one of them and that the reasons for the divide between Sun and Moon are unjustified and fabricated.
She is looking at me; I can see her eyes sparkle in my direction. Her steps slow as she continues towards me. She is only an inch away from me now. I let go of the breath I’m holding and prepare to speak, to tell her everything, but she bends down and picks up a lone sock from the floorboard below me. She looks at it with joy and mutters to herself, “found ya,”before plopping it into her wash bag. My breath releases like a hurricane. I am relieved but frustrated. I really thought I would be able to come clean. At war with my emotions, I watch as she wanders over to her wardrobe and places a few more clothing items in the duffel bag. Looks like she is just packing some more clothes for her to stay at Charlie’s another night. She looks over at my empty bed, and her face saddens a little before walking out of our room, closing the door behind her. I really need to catch up with her. It feels like ages since we’ve had a normal conversation. She probably hoped I would be there so we could talk for a minute or two. I must admit, it is hard talking to her knowing I have so much that I just can’t tell her. The sound of footsteps in the distance brings me back to earth. Time to get back to business. I enlarge the image and dive into its depths, breathing a sigh of relief when my feet stroke the familiar rattan rug. I sit on my bed, admiring the wooden box. This is what Oriah wanted me to find. The Soldark.
Now I can finally skim through its ancient pages and hopefully unmask the secrets of my people. I twist the star latch and open the box with a creak. My heart skips with anticipation. There it is. I carefully remove it from its packaging, treating it like it is precious treasure. If it contains the answers I need, it’s worth its weight in gold. A thick layer of dust smothers the hardback cover. My hot breath slowly dispels the dust, unveiling a darker shade of black. The dust dances in the orange hue of the sunset. The rays warm me as they beam through my window. I place my fingers on the cover’s edge and reveal the pages inside. That’s odd. I flick through a few more for confirmation. Yep. It’s blank. This doesn’t make sense. I skim through the pages again just to make sure my eyes aren’t playing tricks on me. Nope, no tricks. The book is empty. The yellowish pages contain not a single word. I sigh and lie back down on my bed with the bookresting upon my chest. This is the book Oriah wanted me to find?
“Oriah?” I question, a little frustrated at the anticlimax.
‘Yes, my child.’
“The pages are… empty,” I say through gritted teeth, hoping she can explain why she made me get a useless book.
