Page 51 of The Love Duet
I watched Pepper walk over towards me before she propped herself up to sit on the sorting table.“Why aren’t you married, Josiah?”she asked.“And do you have any kids?”
Pepper wanted to know how I felt about relationships, and that was fair when you considered what was happening between us.“I was married,” I informed her.“For ten years.She worked as a billing clerk as she stood by me during all my deployments.”
“What happened?”she asked quietly.
“We got pregnant, and when Bethany miscarried in her fourth month, she blamed me for not being there,” I told her, the weight of the story still a heavy one.“The years of loneliness had finally gotten to her, and she filed for divorce a month after miscarrying.As much as I’d wanted to work things out, I couldn’t let her continue to be miserable because of her marriage to me.So, I let her divorce me, and that’s when I signed up for my last tour, and you already know how that turned out.”
“Do you still love her?”she asked, and talk about vulnerability.Pepper was still very close to her ex-husband, but she was worried that I was still carrying a torch for Bethany.
“No,” I answered honestly.“Had we spent more time together during those ten years, I might have fought harder for our marriage, but regret was what I’d felt most at her filing for divorce, and I know myself well enough to know that had she not always come second to my career, I never would have let her leave me.”
“I’m sorry,” she replied sincerely.“I can’t imagine what it’s like to experience a miscarriage.”
“It’s one of the worst things that a person can go through,” I admitted.“In fact, I used to think that accidentally killing all those innocent people had been my punishment for letting Bethany down.It’d taken a lot of counseling sessions to help me work through that one.”
Pepper’s blue eyes glossed over with genuine emotion, and I’d never met a person that was so beautiful inside and out.“I’m sorry if I pushed-”
I place my finger on her lips to shut her up.“Don’t, Pepper,” I told her.“Do not ever apologize to me for being you.I was scared of the hope that you brought with you, and it’s as simple as that, baby.”
“And you’re not scared anymore?”she asked after I removed my finger.
“I’m fucking terrified,” I chuckled.“I can’t ever recall being this scared, and I spent twenty years in the damn military.”I removed the scrunchie that was falling out of her hair anyway.“But I also can’t remember ever feeling this alive, and it’s because of you.I only feel like this when I’m next to you, Pepper.”
“Well, just so you know, I come with an ex-husband that I’m still very close to, a daughter in a demanding college, and a best friend that shares her family with me,” she said, making me smile.“And you’ll also have to learn ASL if we’re going to do this.I won’t ever have Roxanne left out of a conversation, no matter what it’s about.”
I stared at this amazing woman, and it was easy to see that I was going to be in love with her in no time.“I can do that.”
“You’re also going to have to trust me,” she said.“I know that you’re worried about what might happened when and if you do have an episode, but I need you to trust me when I tell you that you’ll be the first to know if I feel like it’s becoming too much.I promise to always be transparent with you, and I want the same in return.”
I stepped to her, and she opened her legs to accommodate me.Placing my hands on her hips, I said, “I have no idea what I did to deserve you, but I’m going to trust that God knows what He’s doing.”
“Good,” she replied, grinning.“Remember, we only have this one life, Josiah.”
“No, baby,” I told her.“I refuse to believe that we only get this one now that I have you.”
I wanted to live a thousand lifetimes with her.
Chapter 10
Josiah~
Pepper’s hands ran up my chest, and though it was stupid as fuck, I’d never been so happy to have a semi-new shirt on.Having been homeless for the past few years, it was the little things that made an impact, and a lot of people didn’t realized that being homeless wasn’t about having no job or home; it was about having no hope, and like most drugs, the loss of hope could get you in its talon-like grip and never let go.
“Christ, I want to be enough to deserve you, Pepper,” I told her honestly.“When I slide inside you, I want to be enough.”
Whenever things got delicate, Pepper always avoided looking at me, and I think it was because she was scared that her candidness might frighten me away.“Remember how you told me that I didn’t know you?”she whispered as she began unbuttoning my shirt.“Well, that goes both ways, Josiah.So, if you want me to respect that there’s more to you than what I see, then please return the favor.Don’t tell me that I don’t deserve you when you don’t know what it is that I feel whenever I look at you.”
My heart got stuck in my throat as Pepper’s hands pushed my shirt off my shoulders, and I honestly didn’t know if I possessed enough control to make this good for her.I wanted her more than I’d wanted anything in a long time, and I could feel my hands beginning to shake with each caress of her fingers.Pepper was touching me as if I were an expensive piece of art, and it made me want to devour her completely.
“Fair enough,” I said, my voice barely recognizable to my own ears.“But I have to warn you of something before we take this any further, Pepper.”
She looked up at me, her blue eyes bright with a need that I never thought that I’d ever see again.“What?”
“Once I get my hands on you, there’ll be no going back for me,” I warned her.“I’m going to keep you, and I don’t care how rough things might become later.”
“You’re underestimating me again, Josiah Austin,” she said before placing a kiss on my chest.“I don’t scare easily.”
Not being able to help myself any longer, I grabbed Pepper by her face, then slammed my lips down on hers, something that I’d been wanting to do since I first met the crazy spitfire.Opening her mouth, I felt her hands grip my jeans as her tongue snaked out to invite me in, and I could feel my eyes stinging with how Pepper Milo was breathing life back into me.She was kissing me back, holding onto me like she never wanted to let me go, and hope bloomed in my chest with every breath that she took.
