Page 40 of The Love Duet
“It would have been, but that ship has sailed,” he agreed easily.“Even if I were able to find the help that I need, I’m hardly hire-ready.”
“So, what exactly keeps you from holding down a job?”
“My...my issues stem from a mistake that the military covered up for the sake of the greater good, but just because the facts were manipulated on paper...”He took a bite of his bacon, buying himself some time, and I understood that.“We made a mistake, and as a result, several innocent children were killed, and...and defending one’s country shouldn’t include murdering children, no matter the circumstances.”
“I’m sorry,” I replied quietly, having no idea what it was like to live with such a thing on my conscience.“I really am.”
“I have nightmares that can incapacitate me, and every now and again, a panic attack will sneak up on me,” he went on.“So, that makes me an unreliable employee.When I got out of the service, I worked for a hardware store, and the owner had done his best to work with me, but...”He shrugged like his life falling apart had been no big deal.“Well, business is business.”
We ate in silence for a while, and as we ate, I did my best to try to process all that he’d told me.He’d made some mistakes trying to navigate the aftermath of his military career, but those mistakes never should have had this huge of an impact on his life.In my opinion, not enough was done to thank the men and women that protected this country, and Josiah Austin was a prime example of that failure.
“What if I offered you a job?”I finally asked as he cleared his plate.
“What?”
“What if I offered you a job?”I repeated as I got up to get him a second helping.“I own a flower shop, and I could always use the extra help.”
“Did you not just hear what I said?”he asked, though not unkindly.“I’m not reliable.Never mind that I can hardly show up to work looking like this.”
Trying to leave him some of his pride, I kept my back to him as I prepared him another plate of breakfast, saying, “Along with me working there, I have two-full time employees that run the shop for me, but at any given time, I also employ between two-to-three high school students part-time.I have plenty of people to chip in if you can’t make it to work.”
“Look, I understand that you’re feeling grateful for what I did last night, and I can also recognize pity when I see it,” he said, making my heart drop.“But I don’t need you to return the save, Pepper.I’ve made peace with the way that my life is now.”
I turned from the counter, then set the plate in front of him, hoping that pride wouldn’t keep him from eating more.“I am grateful for what you did last night, but my offer has nothing to do with last night or pity, Josiah.There’s a bigger picture here, and I think that your pride is stopping you from seeing it.”
“And what bigger picture is that?”
“How many people would starve if no one ever stepped in to help?”I asked.“How many children would die if no one ever spoke up on their behalf?Where would this world be if everyone chose to mind their own business, rather than step up when they could?You spent your entire life defending our freedoms, and I’m just supposed to ignore that very significant fact and not offer you a chance when I’m able to?”I shook my head before turning to go sit back down.“Like I said last night, I’m not an asshole.”
After a few seconds of silence, I looked across the table to see Josiah staring back at me.“Pepper, you don’t know me.”
“Knowing your favorite color is not as significant to me as knowing that your sense of morality is important enough that you still have nightmares from something that your conscience still struggles with.”
“All the same, thank you, but I’m going to have to pass,” he said, making my heart hurt.
“Well, the offer will always stand, Josiah,” I told him, meaning it.
After another few seconds of silence, he said, “And thank you for breakfast.”
“Thank you for saving my life.”
~
Josiah~
“Thank you for saving my life.”
After breakfast yesterday morning, I couldn’t get Pepper’s words out of my head, and though we’d spoken more about my situation and her family, those six little words had haunted me all day long.She’d made it clear that she didn’t appreciate how everyone was treating my interference like it’d been no big deal when the truth was that her life at been at risk.Pepper felt that the easy dismissal of my help was like dismissing the importance of her life, but that wasn’t true at all.
Nevertheless, I hadn’t slept for shit, her offer like the Tell-Tale Heart come to life.Pepper had offered me a chance at a new beginning, and because she was beautiful, successful, smart, and fiery, I had turned it down, acting like it hadn’t been one of the most important things that had happened to me in a long time.Most of the time, people liked to act like I didn’t exist, but not Pepper Milo.Instead of judging me for fucking things up early on during my spiral, she had offered me a job; one with no expectations.
So, after thinking of nothing else yesterday and last night, I had slept in the back of Rudden’s Alley, sharing what little that I’d had with two other homeless men, then had woken up this morning, feeling stupider than I’d had in years.That level of regret was what had me standing on Pepper’s front porch this morning, forcing me to ignore that I was supposed to be the man in this scenario.
When Pepper swung the front door open, her blue eyes widened, but her surprise was quickly replaced with a huge smile.“Josiah, good morning.”
“I’m sorry if it’s too early,” I said, noting her plain t-shirt, pajama pants, and Cookie Monster slippers.“I wasn’t sure what time you started your day.”
“Depends on what kind of night I had,” she replied easily.“And if I’ll need coffee to operate.”
