Page 41 of Fish out of Water
At least now her judgment was thousands of miles away.
Mrs. Sperry’s smile brightened as she looked past me. “Grant.” She went straight for him, grabbing him in a tight hug before holding him out at arm’s length. “What in the world happened at your uncle’s place?”
“Someone broke in.” He tipped his head toward Mr. Frazier’s door. “I’m on my way there now to make sure they got it all boarded up and secure.”
Mrs. Sperry shook her head. “We take one day-trip and miss all the excitement.”
“You should count yourselves lucky.” Grant reached out to snag me by the hand. He dragged me along as he kept moving toward the door. “Have a nice night.” He unlocked the door and went straight in, pulling me inside before closing the door.
“How did you do that?” I turned back to where he’d just managed to get us away from two of my neighbors in well under the fifteen minutes it usually took me. “They didn’t even start to tell you about their most recent doctor’s visit.”
“They’ll keep you there for an hour if you let them.” Grant moved through the place, checking the broom closet we were in earlier, along with the utility closet that held the washer and dryer. “And we don’t have an hour.”
“I didn’t realize we had plans.” I stepped carefully across the aquarium gravel that seemed to be everywhere.
Grant peeked his head out of the bedroom. “If you want to go out and hear all about their colonoscopies then be my guest.”
“They had those six months ago.” I leaned into the kitchen. “Should we put the fridge back?”
Grant came to stand at my side. “Good call.” He stepped into the room, squatted down and gripped the front side of the appliance where it rested against the floor. He blew out a breath and hefted it up. As he lifted, the bottom door dropped open and the contents of the refrigerator spilled out, falling to the linoleum as he switched his grip and pushed it the rest of the way upright.
“I think that made it worse.” I started collecting packs of sliced cheese and jars of pickles. “At least nothing broke.”
Grant crouched down beside me and started to help stack the food back in the fridge. “Are you regretting your decision to dig those keys out of the tank yet?”
I pretended to think about it for a minute. “I guess I got dinner out of the whole deal.” I stuck the half-empty quart of milk in the door of the fridge. “And I got to see you naked.” I lifted the lid on a six-pack of eggs. “But not well enough to figure out where your wiener falls on my scale.”
Grant laughed as he opened the freezer door and restacked the jumbled items inside. “I’d be top tier in that album of yours, Banana Pants. Don’t pretend I wouldn’t.” He snagged the cardboard box I’d retaped and pulled it out. “What in the hell is this?”
“Really?” I grabbed it away from him. “Do you listen to anything I say?”
“I hear you talking about my dick an awful lot.”
I slapped the box down on the counter and went to work opening it up as my mouth kept running. “I’m sure if you saw my tits you’d still be talking about them.”
My eyes lifted to stare straight ahead.
Did that just come out of my mouth?
“I don’t know about that.” Grant’s voice was very close. “Maybe you should test me.”
I stabbed the scissors into the packing tape I’d added earlier in the day. “I’ve seen the boobs you’re used to. I’m sure mine wouldn’t even faze you.”
“Do I detect a hint of jealousy in your tone, Banana Pants?”
“Of course not.” That would be ridiculous. I barely knew him.
I spun to face Grant, ready to argue my absolute non-jealousy.
But Grant wasn’t looking at me.
His eyes were on the open box. “Those are the fish tails?” He grabbed one of the flaps and dragged the box closer. “How many are in there?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t count. I was snooping, not taking inventory.”
Grant peered at the stacks of individually-packaged tails. “What in the hell was he doing with these?”
“Maybe Penelope wasn’t the original Penelope. Maybe he was bad at fish keeping.” Mr. Frazier was always a little weird, but he hadn’t seemed any weirder than the rest of my neighbors.
