Page 64 of Fish out of Water
If Grant was really into me then he would have already been into me.
Literally.
“Is he hot?”
Calling Grant hot seemed like underkill. Especially after seeing him in suspenders and glasses. “Very.”
“Then why isn’t it like that?” She glanced my way. “Is he boring?”
I had to think on that for a minute.
By all appearances Grant should be boring.
He usually dressed like he was boring. His car certainly made him look boring. Even his house with all its perfectly firm mattresses and coffee stations pointed to boring.
But Grant was not boring.
“He has a python.”
Collette turned my way. “So he’s hung too?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I mean, yes, but he has an actual python in a giant tank in his living room. Her name is Amidala.”
“Like the queen from Star Wars?”
I nodded.
“So he’s a nerd?”
“No.” Grant was scarily cool. From the car to the house to the clothes. Every bit of him was perfectly coordinated coolness.
“Did his nerd friend give him a snake named Amidala? Because I’m pretty sure only a nerd would name a python Amidala.” Collette pulled into the coffee shop that sat just beside the entrance to Sweet Side Gardens.
“His dad gave him the snake when he was seventeen.”
Collette parked the car, her eyes wide as she turned to face me. “So hewasa nerd.”
I tried to think of Grant as anything besides his polished and perfect self. “I don’t think so.”
“You might have found the holy grail of men then, Julia.” She appeared awe-struck. “A stealth nerd.”
“I think you’re taking your fetish a little far.” It was how Collette and I first became friendly. She was hot for the horticulturist I worked with on an almost daily basis. He wore thick glasses and used words most people had to look up.
And was clueless Collette was moderately stalking him.
“It’s not a fetish.” Collette opened her door and climbed out. “I just like men who are interested in talking about more than sports and beer.”
“You’re making some pretty sweeping judgments today.” I followed her into the shop. “I’m sure there are plenty of nerds who like to talk about sports and beer.”
Her brows came together as she stared at me. “You really did live a sheltered life, didn’t you?”
That was probably the understatement of the year. “You’ve seen my Tinder account. I’ve had plenty of exposure.”
Collette snorted. “Does Grant know about your collection of dicks?”
The young girl behind the counter stared at us.
Collette turned to her. “It’s not what it sounds like.” She leaned closer. “When a man wrongs her she cuts their wieners off and puts them in jars in her basement.”
