Page 66 of The Ruckup
I practically fall into my seat as I dig into the bag. “Here.” Cracking the lid on one of the bottles of ginger ale, I pass it over. “Sip this.”
Maddie nods, taking the beverage and swallowing down a few mouthfuls. While she does that, I rip open the box of saltines and shred one of the plastic sleeves trying to get in. Pressing a few of the crackers into her palm, I urge, “work on trying to get these down. They’ll help settle your stomach.”
Again, Maddie nods, this time bringing one of the squares to her mouth so she can nibble at one corner. I grip the plastic bag holding our items by the handles, intending to fling it into the back seat, but Maddie reaches out to stop me. “I can hold that.”
She sounds miserable, but I let her take it. Probably wouldn’t be great for me to start throwing around carbonated beverages anyway, and if she feels like she’s going to be sick again, she can dump everything out and use the bag instead of my floorboard.
Not that I would care.
Still driving carefully, I back out and get us back on the road. As I do my best to keep the ride as smooth as possible, Maddie shifts around the contents of the bag.
“Are you feeling sick again?” I reach across, resting one hand on her knee, feeling fucking helpless. I have to keep driving, and the sooner I get her home, the sooner I can take care of her, but that doesn’t do any good right this minute.
“I mean…” She pulls something from the bag, staring down at it. “A little bit now that I see this.”
I quickly look at the item she’s holding as we come up on the turn into our subdivision. For about the hundredth time since she started puking on the pitch, I’m fighting the urge to smile.
Maddie slowly turns to look at me, lifting the item higher. “Why are there three pregnancy tests in this bag?”
“Technically there are six.” I reach out, tapping my finger against the text on the packaging. “They’re two packs.”
Maddie inhales slowly before blowing the air back out. “Okay.” She drags the word out. “Why are theresixpregnancy tests in this bag?”
“Well…” I’m not sure how to explain this to her, and I’m a little concerned Maddie didn’t at least consider this could happen. “When a man and a woman love each other very much?—”
“Wait.” Maddie’s eyes are wide. “Love?” There’s an odd pitch to her voice.
It could be fear. It could be from feeling like shit.
Or could be hope. I’m gonna cross my fingers for that one.
I nod, taking the box from her hand before lacing my fingers with hers. “That’s right. Love.”
Maddie stares at me a second before her eyes drop to the box on the console between us. “You think I’m pregnant.” It’s not a question.
“We’ve been ignoring any sort of preventative measures, so I think it’s at least possible.” And I’m not mad about it, which is crazy because I’ve been so fucking diligent about that shit up to this point.
But the first time Maddie and I were together was unexpected and spontaneous, and then it just sort of never came up. It wasn’t ignorance—I fully knew what could happen. It wasn’t denial—I would never deny anything between me and Maddie.
But it also wasn’t by design. I wasn’t intending for this to happen. I didn’t plan to get her pregnant.
I just didn’t do anything tonotget her pregnant, because I was ready, willing, and able to take care of whatever the universe was willing to gift me.
And if there’s two pink lines on that test, it’ll be the best gift I’ve ever gotten.
Pulling into my driveway, I park in front of the garage that now houses Maddie’s car and get out, rounding the front to collect her—and the six pregnancy tests—so we can find out what we’re facing.
We get inside, and I take Maddie straight to the bathroom, much like I did the day we left her abuela’s the night she had terrible cramps. I try to do the mental math—attempt to remember how long ago that was. Maybe two months?
And I don’t remember her suffering a month ago.
Once we’re in our bathroom, I tear open a box, spilling two foil wrapped tests onto the counter. I pick one up as I read the instructions on the back. I’m not sure what I was expecting, but the directions are surprisingly simple. “All you have to do is pee on it?”
“You know as much as I do. I’ve never had to take one of these before.” Maddie unzips her jeans, shoving them and her panties down her hips before she flops onto the toilet. She holds one hand out, opening and closing it in a beckoning motion. “Let’s get this over with so I can lay down and take a nap.”
I tear into the foil of one, remove the little plastic cap off what looks like a felted sort of tab, and pass it over.
Maddie takes it, hesitating a second as her eyes lift to where I stand watching intently. “I don’t know if I can pee with you staring at me.”
