Page 69 of The Ruckup
“And I appreciate the offer, but I need to be the one to make this phone call.” Not for them. I don’t feel like I need to do anything for them.
This is for myself. To show how far I’ve come. The changes I’ve made. I know there’s plenty more I need to do, but that will come.
And it will come easier without my parents trying to insert themselves into my life at every opportunity.
I look Leo over where he sits beside me on the sofa. “Do you think you can stay calm while I talk to them?”
Leo was aggressively defensive of me even before we discovered the pregnancy. Now I’m pretty sure it’s multiplied by about ten, and if anyone can figure out how to crawl through a phone line to strangle someone, it will be him.
“I’ll be fine.” He tips his head, brows lifting. “I’m not saying I won’t be mentally plotting their demise if they’re shitty to you, but I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
I think that’s fair. Leo’s parents haven’t been half as terrible as mine, but I’m still struggling with the desire to flip each of them in the forehead the next time I see them. I can only imagine how Leo feels considering how awful my parents have been.
And continue to be.
“I guess we should just get this done then.”
My abuela is currently the only person who knows I’m pregnant. We told her almost immediately.
Needless to say she was thrilled. I think she’ll be even more excited when she finds out Leo has hired a remodeling company and is trying to work out a way to add an in-law suite to the house.
Because it turns out I’m not the only person Leo has become exceptionally protective of.
Picking up my cell phone, I take a deep breath and dial my mother’s number, choosing her over my dad simply because I doubt he’ll relay the information to her accurately or in its entirety, and she’ll end up calling me anyway. If I’m going to tell them this, then I’m only going to do it once.
The phone rings enough times that I think it’s going to voicemail, but at the last second my mother answers.
“Hello.” There’s annoyance in her voice. As if I’m a telemarketer calling to ask about her car insurance or claiming she’s got an unpaid tax bill.
I close my eyes, breathing deep. Not so long ago my feelings would’ve been hurt at her callous attitude toward me, but not now. Now I’m just disgusted. I haven’t even met my baby—it’s basically a tadpole right now—but I can already say withcomplete certainty I would never treat this child the way my parents have treated me.
It makes me wonder if they ever genuinely wanted kids, or if I was just brought into this world so they would have someone to boss around. Someone to make them feel powerful. Someone to make them feel superior and adored.
“I was just calling to let you know Leo and I are having a baby.” I don’t mince words. I don’t want to drag this out any longer than I absolutely have to. I know many people say blood is thicker than water, but you can drown in either one.
And I’m done sinking.
As expected, my mother immediately flies into what most people would equate to a temper tantrum. I can’t even understand half the words coming out of her mouth as she rants and rages about my poor decisions and stupidity.
At one point in time I would have listened. Felt obligated to sit through the nonsense she’s spewing.
But I don’t now.
“Obviously you have some big feelings to work through about this, but you can do that on your own time. I just wanted to give you a heads up so you weren’t shocked when you saw pictures of Abuela holding a baby.” I hang up, because there’s no reason to continue the call.
Holding my breath, I wait to see if she tries to call back, but as the minutes tick by, that seems less and less likely.
And I’m a little relieved. I don’t want to fight with my parents. There’s no use in it. They will always believe they’re right andinnocent and justified. Nothing I can say or do will make them see things any differently.
Does it suck? Yes, but I have my Abuela and I have Leo.
And this fall I will have our baby.
Leo holds me close, tucking my head against his shoulder. “You okay?”
Like his earlier question, I sit with it a minute before answering. “Yeah. I am.” I rock my head back to look at him. “When are you going to tell your parents?”
“Might as well do that tomorrow.” Leo gives me a grin. “If you want, we could go tell Gavin and Alexis tonight. That way we can alternate between excitement and freak outs.”
