Page 82 of Forbidden Dance
My feet are extra long in the shoes. They have a padding of glue and fabric in the toes. It’s a strange feeling.
“Let’s go to the barre,” she says.
I know she’s going to have me do my firstrelevéin the shoes. “Can I get my phone to record it?” I ask.
“Sure,” she says. “It’s a big moment.”
I tug the cell phone out of my bag. I set the camera to record a video and lean it against the wall, using the selfie mode so I can see what it is capturing.
“Okay,” she says. “Take care in your firstrelevé. Do one foot at a time, no weight on it, and get a feel for the shoe. Fourth position.”
I move into the pose, one foot in front of the other, toes in opposite directions.
“Now go to the toe with your right foot,” she says.
I do the movement, feeling my foot slide against the base of the shoe.
She squeezes the shoe around my foot. “Good. Now the left.”
I repeat it. It feels solid. She checks this one as well.
“You ready?” she asks. “Let’srelevéwith both feet. Shift to first position.”
I take in a breath and move my feet so the backs of my ankles touch, toes out.
Then slowly, I rise, feeling the strange pull on my arches as my feet lift higher, up onto the bulk of the shoes.
I look down. I’men pointe!
“How does it feel?” she asks.
Tears squeeze from my eyes. “Amazing,” I say.
“Come on down,” she says. “Go up and down slowly a few times in first position, then go back to fourth, this time rising up with each individual foot.”
I follow her instructions. Every lift onto the shoes is like ascending a staircase. I watch the mirror, admiring my own feet, the arch, the beauty of the shoes.
“That’s enough for today,” she says. “Congratulations, Livia, you’ve moved topointe.”
I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand as she hugs me. This is the biggest thing I’ve ever achieved. I pick up my phone and stop the video. I can’t wait to share it with Blitz.
Chapter 28
All weekend I practice mypointeform at home. I improvise a barre with a closet rod, cramming all my clothes to one side.
Blitz sends me a video of him watching my shoe video, the cutest thing ever. He’s so proud and happy, but sad he wasn’t there to see it in person. But I’m fine with that. I can’t imagine how much more nervous I would have been if he were there.
Both Mom and Dad stop by my room when they spot me in the toe shoes, admiring the form. There’s something about a ballerinaen pointethat is enchanting and magical. They treat me a little differently, like I’m someone who has actually accomplished something. I feel myself moving from the shame of the family to the pride of it.
On Tuesday, Janel doesn’t mention mypointeto the girls, which makes sense. It is something they may never do. Seeing Gabriella after this achievement strikes grief into my heart. She will never danceen pointe. For a while, I’m back into my regret and misery.
When I come out of class, the girls gone with their mothers, I find Suze and Aurora and Jacob huddled around the computer screen at the front desk.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
They look at each other like they don’t want to say.
I come around to peer at the screen. Suze has paused a video clip ofDance Blitz. It’s a new promo.
