Page 38 of Wounded Dance
And we did, wearing as little as possible, teasing each other, kissing and touching and doing all the things we’d figured out over the past two months.
When we got into the backyard, Denham dropped the reclining lawn chair down into the position I used when I would get sun over the summer.
“I want you here,” he said. “Like that first time I got a good look at you.”
I sat down on it and leaned back. The moon was high and full, casting a light glow over the yard. The neighborhood slept. Our fence was solid and no windows looked in.
“I want you naked out here,” he said, and a thrill zipped through me. We rarely undressed all the way, since we were so afraid of getting caught.
But I did what he said, slipping off my clothes in the moonlight.
He did the same, and I saw all of him for the first time. He lay next to me, our bodies pressed tightly together on the lounger.
We didn’t speak, just kissing and touching like we always did. The rung of the lounger started to bite into my side, so I shifted onto my back. Denham moved over me, and my heart raced with him in that position.
“I feel so strongly about you, Livia,” he said. “What have you done?”
I smiled up at him. “I don’t know. Just loved you, I guess.”
“I think I get it now,” he said. “The love thing.”
I thought my heart would absolutely stop beating. “What do you mean?”
“I think I love you too.”
Everything soared inside me. I was warm from head to toe. Denham loved me back! There was nothing we couldn’t do. We would be together forever.
His body pressed against me at the hips, and I could feel everything, him hard and strong between us. I’d touched him, even tasted him. I knew that part of him well.
But I wanted it the way real couples did it. It was like a molten fire, almost painful in the need. Surely he wanted it too. Especially now that he felt the same as I did.
I kept his gaze as I shifted below him, angling my body so that he was where he needed to be.
He closed his eyes. “Livia,” he said softly.
“Don’t think,” I said.
He eased against me, sliding around. Then he was inside, and my world splintered. The burn was searing at first, then it lessened. But it didn’t matter, because Denham was going now, his hands on my shoulders.
I moved with him and found his rhythm. And I understood. This was what made life work. My love for him flooded me and I knew I would never get enough. I would want this and want this and want this.
That first time was risky and unprotected, but had no consequences. It was later that we were stupid. We had condoms that Denham picked up, but they were sometimes in the wrong part of the house, or we’d run out but did things anyway.
We got reckless.
And then we got caught.
I don’t want to think on that, alone in this hotel. I push it away and lay on the bed in the room I share with Blitz. I send him a message that I miss him and tuck his pillow under my head. It has been the longest day, but I have gotten through it. Now just a night, and tomorrow he will be back.
I’ll return to my happy present, where Denham can’t hurt me, and all this will eventually be another terrible dark memory.
Chapter 15
I wake up at a crazy early hour with a load of missed messages from Blitz.
I filter through the texts and listen to the two voice mails. It’s 5 a.m. here in Texas, which means it is only 3 a.m. in California.
His last message was around midnight when he went to bed after a long day of legal meetings and a couple hours at court. One of the contestants ofDance Blitzis suing for breach of contract, but he said it was going to work out. Same tactics as we’d use for BD, he said, which is what he’s calling Denham now, for baby daddy.
