Page 48 of Forever Christmas
Chapter 17: Corabelle
I honestly don’t know any details about how Gavin’s father’s recovery goes after we leave town, as Gavin won’t talk about him. I assume he’s okay since I talk to my own mom every other day now that she knows I’m pregnant. She says he came home after a few days. She was in her backyard and heard him cussing in his.
I’m sad there was no changeto their relationship. Maybe that was too much to hope for.
Tina gets married to her doctor. Her wedding is simple, our star-spangled arch carried out to a cliff overlooking the ocean. It’s a special place for her and Dr. Darion. She lets her baby Peanut’s ashes go at the end of the ceremony and it’s all I can do not to break down over it.
I’m not as able to let go as she is.
The day of thefirst sonogram arrives, and Gavin takes off work to go with me. I’m not particularly nervous about this one. I expect everything to go fine for a while.
Dr. Jamison comes in, dressed in surgical scrubs. “Sorry for the garb, expecting a delivery next door today.” The medical building is adjacent to the hospital where Jenny had her baby girl.
It was also where I was taken after nearly drowningin the ocean.
So much has happened here.
The doctor shakes hands with me and Gavin. “I hear we’ve got a baby coming!” he says. His dark hair and bright eyes help me feel calm. I can see why Jenny likes him.
“We met once before,” I say. “When my friend Jenny had her baby early. She went into labor during a concert. I was with her.”
“Oh, yes! Jenny is a lively one,” he says. “How is her littlegirl doing?”
“Great,” I say. “She’s crawling and everything.”
Dr. Jamison flips through my chart. He’s still old-school with a manila folder and printed pages attached with big gold fasteners.
“I see here you’ve had a baby once before,” he says. “Premature delivery. Congenital heart condition.”
I nod, my throat thick. “They didn’t operate. He died at seven days old.”
“I’m so sorry.” His eyebrowsknit together, and I can see he really means it.
I manage to keep my voice even as I say, “I read we won’t be able to check this baby’s heart until sixteen weeks.”
“It won’t be conclusive until then, and if there is a minor defect, maybe not even then,” he says. “A lot of us walk around with minor heart problems that are never detected in our lifetime.”
“Finn’s wasn’t minor.”
“We can do agenetic study if you like,” he says. “We can pull an amnio, do the karyotype on you two as well.”
I think of the expense. I’m not sure what all this crappy insurance we have will cover. And this information won’t change anything. I glance at Gavin but he just shrugs.
“I don’t think so. We’ll see how he looks at sixteen weeks,” I say.
“He? You think it’s another boy?” He smiles as he helps melie back and fits my heels in the stirrups. “A mother’s intuition is as good as any sonogram.”
“It is?” I hadn’t thought about what gender the baby might be, but I suppose I do often picture another boy.
Dr. Jamison feels along my belly, pressing in. He nods at the nurse, who rolls a sonogram machine up to the bed.
“This will be a transvaginal ultrasound, not a belly one,” Dr. Jamison says.“You’ll graduate to those next time.”
I nod. I remember.
Dr. Jamison turns the sonogram screen so I can see. Gavin steps forward and takes my hand.
As the wand presses against me down below, I’m flooded with memories of Finn. I didn’t expect this, and tears start flowing out of my eyes so fast that I quickly soak the paper pillow.
