Page 19 of This Love
“Of course,” Gram said.
“How can we go without Ava?” Amanda cried. “What do we do without her?” Tears rolled down her face.
Ava turned away. I had to get her out of here. It was too much emotion. Ava hated that in the early days after a memory loss.
“We’ll figure it out,” Marcus said. “This is what we have to deal with. Tina, take them in the limo with Gram. Vinnie, is your car at Ava’s?”
“Yeah, but I can go to the country club and get a ride back to my car. I should take a few pictures, you know, to document the day.”
He wouldn’t meet my gaze. I hoped Ava wasn’t too hung up on him being her only friend. He clearly needed a minute to process all this.
She didn’t seem to be. She had her back turned to all of us.
Gram drew me in for a hug, curving over the bulk of the wedding dress. “Hang in there, love. I’ll update you from the club. Let me know if you need Maya or Harry.”
“I will.” I almost wished I could keep her with us. I needed an ally. But there was a lot to handle at the wedding site. Over an hour had passed. Heck, maybe everyone had left.
But there were people to pay, gratuities to hand out. Soon, a small band would arrive to play the song for our first dance.
I glanced at Ava. We had practiced that song a time or two, not that we were doing anything fancy.
Now, we wouldn’t get to dance.
I fought against the tide of despair that threatened to drag me under. I couldn’t afford it. Not now.
We filed out. At first, Ava didn’t move, but Marcus touched her shoulder. “Let’s get you where you want to go.”
That got her. She followed us.
“I’ll get the car. She doesn’t have shoes.” I didn’t want to leave her, not even for a minute, but she couldn’t walk through the parking garage with bare feet.
I hurried up the stairs, the miles of fabric slipping in my arms. I tossed the gown and shoes in the back seat before pulling off my tux jacket. It was hot and stiff. I didn’t want these clothes anymore, either. I yanked the tie loose and piled it with everything else in the back.
When I sat behind the wheel, I intended to start the car and hurry to the entrance.
But emotion crashed over me in a wave of nausea. I’d lost her again. And this time, we lived together. Our paths were intertwined. I didn’t have the luxury of waiting her out, approaching her slowly.
It had to go better this time. It had to.
I swiped at my eyes. No crying, Tucker. Not one minute.
For a terrifying moment, my own head sizzled. Shit. No. Not happening.
I didn’t have the magnet on me that activated the VNS device implanted in my chest. But every sixty seconds, it would do its thing without it.
My hands gripped the steering wheel as I breathed slowly and evenly, willing myself calm. I counted to sixty once, then again.
I couldn’t feel the gentle pulse of electricity that was generated by the device in my chest and went up a wire that wrapped around my vagus nerve in my neck. But it happened, nonetheless. This zap prevented a seizure from getting anywhere. Meds hadn’t worked for me, but this device had given me my life back.
When I felt reasonably sure I was fine, I started the engine. Sweat poured from my hair and down my neck before trickling over my forehead from the stuffy interior. I should have cranked the AC first thing.
I tried to breathe evenly as I drove to the exit. I had to be chill for Ava. No emotions. Nothing for her to interpret negatively.
I had forgotten that leaving required a payment. I reached behind me for the jacket and dug for my wallet. By the time I got around to the exit, Ava was pacing back and forth in small, angry steps.
Marcus opened the passenger door. “Front or back?” he asked her.
She assessed the seats. “Back.”
