Page 29 of This Love
I thought about it, searching for what I had done there before. Looked at the book. Looked in the mirror. There was a shower. That was for washing, like the sink.
And the toilet. “I sit on the toilet. And that makes this feeling go away, right?” It all felt very abstract, like I knew the information, but I couldn’t imagine what it was like to do it.
“That’s right. Your body will know what to do once you lower your clothes and sit down. The toilet paper is there to clean up.” His face began shifting in color, darker and redder. “Do you want me to help?”
No, no, I did not. I dashed into the room and closed the door.
Now that I was inside, the urgency grew stronger. I examined the toilet. There seemed to be several parts. I lifted the lid. There was a circle opening.
I assumed I sat on that. I needed instructions. But I pulled down my pants and sat down, realizing too late that the underwear should go, too. Water streamed out of me, soaking the panties.
Of course, they both had to go. Why hadn’t I done that?
I kicked off the sweatpants, trying to avoid getting them wet. Then I slid the panties down. This was a disaster.
I tossed the panties into the sink and dried myself off with toilet paper. Now, what? I ran clean water over the panties. They were really wet. I left them in the sink.
I dried my hands and put the sweatpants back on. It felt strange to wear them without underwear, but I couldn’t do anything about it. There were probably other panties somewhere in the bedroom.
When I went back to the hall, Tucker was still there. “Uh, Harry is here. We had him come in case you woke up.”
“Really?” I could conjure the image of him since I’d seen the picture in the book.
“Come on.” He walked through the hall with the pictures to the room with the sofa.
Harry sat on the blue cushions, which were smashed beneath his weight. He was so much bigger than Tucker, his legs stretched out in front of him in a blue suit. He had a massive dark beard and so much hair on his head. You could see only his eyes and nose.
But he looked like his picture, and the smile he gave was so big that you could suddenly make out his mouth in all that hair.
“Ava, my girl! I heard you asked for me, and ol’ Harry isn’t ever going to wait a second when my Ava calls for me.”
He stood and strode right up to me, hauling me into his arms.
At first, I stiffened. I’d avoided anyone touching me if I could help it, but there was something different about Harry. He was so big and cuddly and smelled exactly right.
I melted against his huge frame, and before I could stop it, I was crying, crying so hard my whole body shook.
“That’s all right, sweet Ava. Let it out.” He sat down again, drawing me against his side, his hand on my hair.
I cried and cried and couldn’t seem to stop. Harry held on to me, squeezing my shoulders, making a “Shhh, shhh” sound until I started hiccupping.
“Can you get my girl some water?” Harry asked.
Footsteps receded. Tucker’s, I guess.
“We took care of everything,” Harry said. “Everybody had dinner, and Tucker’s Gram made all the announcements. We brought some of the food back for you.”
I pulled back to look up at him. “Is anyone else here?”
“Just me and Tucker. Your father will be back in the morning. He went to help with the wedding issues. People to pay and all that.”
“Oh, I guess it still cost money even though we didn’t get married.”
“Don’t you worry a hair on your head about that, sweet girl.”
“I don’t want anyone here. Except maybe you.”
Harry nodded. “I understand. It’s bound to be bewildering. But you need someone to look after you while you get your bearings. It’s a big, wild world out there, and you have a lot to learn again.”
