Page 37 of Forever & Again
“Because of Odette?”
“Because it was my fault!” Oliver’s voice broke. “Love made me reckless, and she paid the cost.”
“You were young.”
“I was a fool.” Oliver took in a deep breath,
“Maybe,” Matthew allowed. “But you’re not the same man now.”
“No, I’m worse,” Oliver muttered. “Because now I know exactly how much there is to lose and I still want her.” His eyesclosed against the weight of the confession. “I want her, Matty. The fire, the sharp edges—I want all of her.”
Matthew was quiet for a long moment. Then he laid a hand on Oliver’s shoulder, anchoring him in the strength Oliver wished he could summon for himself.
“The kind of pain you endured changes a man. But it does not make you unworthy of happiness. You can not live your whole life fearing the future. And if you close yourself off from love completely…” His voice gentled. “I do not know what kind of future that would leave you at all.”
Oliver’s throat tightened. He had buried so much, for so long, but Grace—with her laughter, her fury, her sparks—made him feel alive again. He was no longer sure if he could deny it—or if he even wanted to.
Oliver took a deep breath, prepared to force a smile back on his face, but found it came much easier than expected. He slung an arm around Matthew’s shoulder as they started back toward their horses. “So tell me—when did you start sounding so much like Benjamin?”
Matthew threw his head back and laughed. “I have been spending a lot of time with his sister recently.”
Chapter Seventeen
The pounding in Grace’s head had long subsided, but her thoughts were still racing, refusing to give her peace. Breakfast lingered in the back of her mind, mingled with the hazy flickers of the study from the night before. She couldn’t recall every detail, but she remembered enough to know that she most likely made a complete and utter fool out of herself.
She was on course for the library, hoping for a few hours alone with a book to settle her thoughts and return her heart to a normal rhythm. She turned the corner too quickly, colliding with something solid—or rathersomeonesolid.
Oliver’s hands wrapped around the back of her arms, keeping her steady on her feet but sending her heart racing again. His smile had the same effect as Matthew’s brandy, making her blood run warm and her stomach twist in knots.
He laughed, his voice sending a shiver up her spine despite the flush in her cheeks. “If you are going to throw yourself at me, I would prefer it were not with the risk of injury.”
Grace’s whole body tensed as Oliver loosened his grip on her arms, letting his hands fall away completely.
“I was not trying to injure you.” Grace cleared her throat and smoothed her skirts in an attempt to settle her nerves. “I simply was not watching where I was going.” She braced herself for his inevitable retort—the flirtatious remark, perhaps even one of his daring winks—but it didn’t come.
Oliver studied her quietly, his eyes soft, before giving her the faintest smile and stepping aside to continue down the hall.
The moment he moved away, Grace realized she had stopped breathing. Air rushed back into her lungs, clearing her head enough to ignite a spark of frustration as she watched his retreating form walking silently away from her.
“Are you avoiding me?” She called after him.
Oliver stopped mid-stride and turned back, his brows lifting in surprise. “No,” He said, his tone deceptively light. “Should I be?”
“You tell me.” The thought of asking him directly what had occurred in Matthew's study was mortifying, but if she could coax him to volunteer just a sliver of information, maybe she could piece together a clearer picture for herself.
Oliver took a few careful steps closer, and Grace instinctively folded her arms across her chest like a shield. Her pulse quickened as his eyes searched hers, as if he were trying to find the memories that she had forgotten.
“What do you remember?” He whispered.
Grace hesitated, biting the inside of her cheek. “Enough to know that I should be embarrassed,” she admitted. “But not enough to know why.”
A slow smile tugged at Oliver’s lips, and for a single heartbeat, Grace thought she saw his gaze drop to hers, but in the next moment, his eyes were locked on hers again. “You have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about.”
Grace’s chest tightened. She knew the words were meant to soothe her mind, but they only made her thoughts race faster. “Then why does it feel like you are hiding something from me?”
“Because I do not want you to think that I will hold you to anything that you said.”
Grace felt the air rush from her lungs. Flashes of memories from the night before came rushing back. Why on earth had she been talking about Benjamin’s nose? And Oliver’s face…
