Page 28 of Forever & Again
“I do not prefer his company….”
“Is that where you have been every day?” Sarah’s voice trembled. “All this time, I thought you simply wished to be alone, but the truth is you do not wish to be around me.”
“What do you want me to say, Lizzy?” Grace’s voice cracked under the weight of her frustration.
Sarah’s eyes glistened, her hands tightening around the edge of the tea table as though bracing for impact. “I want you to tell me the truth.”
“Some days I can not even bear to look at you!” The confession burst out, cold and harsh. Grace pressed a trembling hand to her temple, ashamed even as the words left her lips. “Being here, at Somerton, with you and Matthew, makes me feel as if I am losing Benjamin all over again.”
Sarah’s face went pale. “Then why did you come?”
“Because you asked me to!” Grace shot back. “Did you even think, before you sent that invitation, how painful it might be for me to get a glimpse of the future that was ripped away from me?”
“Of course I did…” Sarah’s voice wavered.
“Then why did you send it?”
“Because I missed you!” The words broke free like a sob, Sarah’s cheeks flushed with sudden anger. “Did you ever think that it also hurts me to look at you? That every time I walk these halls all I can think of is Benjamin.”
“It is not the same. I loved him,” Grace’s voice was barely more than a whisper, but it was carried by the weight of her grief.
“So did I!” Sarah’s eyes were blazing through her tears. “I lost my brother, Grace. He was my best friend. And now every day I must live with the knowledge that the life I have is only mine because he died. You are not the only one hurting.” She drew in a shuddering breath. “But you are right—it is not thesame. Because instead of taking my grief and using it as an excuse to hold people at arm’s length, it has made me realize I cannot waste another moment taking the people I love for granted, no matter how painful it may be.”
Sarah rose to her feet, her hands clenched at her sides. “Maybe Matthew was right—perhaps you and Oliver are much more alike than you care to admit.”
Grace sat frozen, watching Sarah’s retreating form, the sunlight glinting off her golden curls in cruel contrast to the storm she left behind. Grace was too broken to follow, and too angry to cry.
Her mother had been wrong—tea did not prevent wars. It only offered a more delicate battlefield.
Grace sat on the cool stone bench nestled among the roses of Somerton’s gardens. The fragrant evening air wrapped around her, offering only the illusion of peace. Sarah had taken her dinner in her room, and Oliver and Matthew had barely offered two words at the table.
Grace knew the words she had spoken to Sarah had been too harsh. The truth had lifted a weight from her chest, but it had been replaced by a hollow ache as she had watched Sarah’s retreating figure fade from view.
Grace heard the soft, steady sound of footsteps behind her, crunching along the gravel path. She knew the silence wouldn’tlast long. She was only surprised Oliver had taken this long to find her.
“If you are here to scold me, I am in no mood,” she said, keeping her eyes fixed on the roses, unwilling to face the disappointment she expected to find when she faced him.
“When have I ever scolded ye?”
Her chest tightened at the sound of the familiar Scottish lilt. She turned around, startled, as Matthew stepped from the shadows of the arbor.
“You look surprised.” He he said, lowering himself onto the bench beside her. A hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “Were you expecting someone else?”
Grace shifted her gaze back to the bushes in front of them, though she could still feel the weight of his eyes on her. “Matthew,” she whispered, the lump in her throat making it difficult to speak. “I am sorry…”
“You do not need to apologize,” he interrupted gently.
Grace looked at him in surprise.
“You were not wrong in what you said,” he went on, “but neither was Sarah.”
Grace shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.
“You know that I am not always the most skilled at saying what needs to be said,” he admitted. “But I hate to think that losing Benjamin might be the very thing that tears us apart, when he was always happiest when we were together.”
Grace’s throat tightened. His words carried no reprimand, yet the guilt stirred deep in her stomach. Sarah had lost her brother, Matthew had lost her best friend, but if she allowed the shadows of Benjamin’s memory to only cast darkness over every part of her life, she would lose everyone she had ever loved.
Matthew finally stood to return to the house, but Grace called out to stop him. “What did you and Sarah mean when yousaid Oliver and I are alike?” She asked when he had turned back to face her.
