Page 36 of Forever & Again
Oliver’s eyes snapped to hers, and the sudden silence that had fallen over the room was deafening.
The name had rolled off her tongue too easily, like it was familiar. The moment it hit the air she had realized her mistake. Perhaps no one else had heard it.
Matthew’s hand hung suspended in the air, the steam rising from his tea in curly wisps. Sarah’s eyes flittered between Grace and Oliver, who silently slid the jar of strawberry preserves across the table.
“I was not aware you two were on such familiar terms.” Sarah’s voice broke the silence. Oliver’s jaw tensed, and Grace grasped the jar with trembling fingers. “We’re not.” She insisted. “It simply slipped out.” Her face burned, and her stomach knotted.
Oliver remained silent, his gaze flicking briefly to Grace before returning to his plate, as if the past few minutes had simply never happened. He moved with deliberate calm as heslid his chair back from the table, excusing himself for an early morning ride.
“I think I will join you,” Matthew added, springing from his seat and following Oliver through the door. Grace watched them go, her hands still trembling around the jar.
Oliver guided Champion along the orchard trails, his hooves stirring up tiny clouds of dust with every step. The morning sun should have felt warm and inviting, but instead, it was suffocating. He had shed his coat the moment he had stepped into the barn, but even now, with his sleeves rolled and waistcoat unbuttoned, he couldn’t shake the tightening feeling that spread across his chest.
The birds were chirping brightly, and the soft breeze fluttered through the trees, but all Oliver could hear was Grace’s voice.
“Ollie…”
And it wasn’t only that morning, but she had let the name slip multiple times in Matthew’s study. Every time she said it, it broke something loose in him, daring him to feel things he didn’t even allow himself to dream of anymore.
No one had called him Ollie in years—no one save Benjamin, Matthew, and The Duke’s youngest sister Charlotte, and they usually kept it reserved for when they were about to put him in his place. The way it slipped off of Grace’s lips was warmand sweet—like she was talking to the version of him that no one else was able to see.
No one had spoken to him or looked at him that way since Odette. The only woman who had seen him as someone she could trust. He had loved her so completely, but it had cost her everything.
And now Grace had come waltzing into his life, and he was selfish enough to want something again—and he hated himself for it.
He hated the way his heart leapt when she smiled, and how it ached when she looked away. He hated how he was fully aware of the moment she walked into a room, and how he couldn’t think of anything other than being close to her. He had sworn he would never endanger another woman’s future by wrapping it up in his own wreckage—but he wanted her, broken heart and all.
The sound of hooves crunched behind him.“You are riding like a man being chased by his conscience,” Matthew said, falling alongside him. “I thought this was going to be a leisurely ride.”
Oliver exhaled, the sound harsh in the morning air. “I lost my conscience a long time ago, Matty.” He tried to force his voice to sound light, but the edge in his tone betrayed him. “I suppose it is you I am trying to outrun.”
Matthew gave him a sidelong look. “Is this about last night?”
Oliver turned back to the path in front of them, loosening the reins and allowing Champion to pick up the pace and choose his own course.
“Well, that is not a no.” Matthew spurred his own horse to match. “Oliver, were you with Grace last night?” Gone was the gentle teasing from breakfast that morning.
Oliver’s hands tightened around the reins, but he didn’t dare turn to face Matthew. “Yes,” he said carefully. “But it was not what you think.”
He could feel Matthew’s gaze burning a hole in the side of his head as he waited for him to explain.
“I found her in your study, knee deep in a bottle of brandy,” Oliver continued. “I simply stayed to ensure she was alright.”
“Did you kiss her?”
Oliver swallowed. “No.”
“Did you want to?”
Oliver forced Champion to halt, sliding from the saddle. He heard Matthew’s feet hit the ground behind him as he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to banish the thoughts of study from his mind.
All he wanted was to kiss her. To tilt her face toward his and lose himself in the warmth of her, and forget every oath that he had ever made about keeping his heart closed. But instead, he had kept his fingers curled tightly around his glass of brandy, because he knew if he kissed her, he would never want to stop.
“Oliver,” Matthew’s voice broke through his thoughts. Though Oliver had not answered his question, and it was obvious that his silence had told Matthew everything he needed to hear.
“It is not my place to interfere in her affairs—not that she needs me to—but if you go down this path, you need to be sure.”
Oliver’s gaze dropped. “Iamsure,” he said quietly. “That is what terrifies me.”
