Page 141 of Bad at Love
He takes in a deep, shaking breath. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. And I am absolutely, brilliantly in love with you. I was just too blind, too scared and too…inexperienced to see it. To let myself feel it. Because I didn’t think I deserved to feel that good.” I open my eyes and find him staring deep into every part of me, his eyes burning with truth. “You’re like moonshine on the darkest night. You shine a light on who I am and make me want to be a better person. And you’ve made me realize that I too deserve love. I never thought I did. My whole life I thought I didn’t. And now, because of you, I do.”
He pauses. “Because of you, because of you, I love.”
My heart bursts at his words.
I grab him hard, my fingers digging into his back and pull him to me, tucking my head into his chest and holding on for dear life.
“I love you still,” I tell him. “I love you always.”
“I am so sorry,” he says, choking up. “I am…I know I deserve love but I don’t know if you can find it in your heart to give me a second chance. I know I’m new at this but I don’t want to be bad at this. I want to learn, I want to learn with you. Together.”
I just nod, tears starting to fall.
His embrace tightens, he kisses the top of my head. “Marina, if you give me another chance, I promise I’ll make it up to you. I promise I won’t leave. I promise I’ll love you forever, to give you everything you need. I know I’m moody and I’m in my head a lot and I know I’ve been just a horrible idiot as of late. I know all this. But, please, I need another chance. I need another chance at this, another chance at us. Please.”
I swallow thickly, trying to breathe.
If I was a more bitter person, if I let my anger dictate things, then I would probably push him away. Tell him it couldn’t work. That I was too hurt. That we were both too fucked up and complicated. If I was someone like Naomi and he was someone like Robert, then I would.
But we aren’t them.
Not even close.
He’s Laz. I’m Marina. And this is the us that we’ve always been. We love in our own ways, we grow in our own ways, but we’re better if we’re loving and growing together.
So I don’t push him away.
I keep him close.
Because I love him.
“I love you, Laz,” I whisper.
“I love you, too,” he whispers back. “I love you so bloody much.”
He reaches down, grabs my chin and kisses me.
Long, hard. Full of life, full of love.
We stumble backward to the bed.
Our clothes come off in a dance of hands and mouths.
Our bodies come together with a meeting of the hearts.
Poetry at our feet.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
MARINA
“SHINE”
“Hiya,we’re Magic 8 Ball and we’re here for your pleasure,” Laz says into the microphone.
The crowd goes wild.
Well, they were already a little wild. Magic 8 Ball is playing a small stage at the FYF Fest (or the “Fuck Yeah Festival” Fest which makes the name a little redundant) and are playing right in the middle of the day at Exposition Park. It’s hot, bright, crowded, sweaty, I’m pretty sure everyone is high on a multitude of drugs and they’ve been “wooooooing” non-stop.
