Page 64 of Bad at Love
Oh fuck.
“Marina,” she says as soon as I answer. “It’s your father, he’s…in a bad way. I just came by to drop off groceries and he’s lost his mind. I might have to call the police, I can’t handle him like this.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I try to think. “Uh, no, don’t do that. Don’t do that, hecan’t afford to get in trouble with them again. Where are you? What’s he doing?”
“I’m outside the house. I’m leaving, I don’t know what to do. I think he might get violent.”
“You know he’s not like that.”
“Well he’s your father Marina, come deal with him. Lord knows I’ve had to deal with everything ever since your mother died.” She hangs up.
Everything inside me shrinks and shrivels and dies somewhere.
Brutal, Aunt Marg, that was brutal.
I close my eyes, trying to gather strength, to fight back the tears that are coming to me so easily lately.
“Laz,” I whisper into the phone, returning to our call.
“What happened?”
“It’s my dad. I have to go.”
“Where are you right now?”
“I just got home,” I say, barely able to form words. I’m suddenly so weak, the dread of what I have to do and deal with is debilitating. “I have to go.”
“No,” he says firmly. “You’re not doing this alone. Stay where you are. I’ll be there in five minutes.”
“Laz…”
“I’m serious. You’re not fucking going anywhere.”
He hangs up. I’ve never heard him be so harsh with me before so I don’t risk pissing him off again. I quickly go into the studio, take off my dress and slip on jeans and a grey T-shirt, take off last night’s makeup with a wipe, and then head back out just in time to see the Camaro pull up.
“You don’t have to do this,” I tell him as I open the door and sit in the passenger seat. “It’s not your problem.”
“It is my problem,” Laz says. His eyes are both soft and hard at the same time as they peer at me intently, his jawfirm. “Because it’s a problem to you, then it’s a problem to me. I’m doing this with you, alright?”
I’m not convinced. This is a part of my life I’d rather keep from everyone. It’s one thing to talk about it. It’s another to see it. I don’t know what my father will do or what he’ll say. I don’t know if I’ll be weak or strong. I don’t think I’m ready to show any of that to Laz.
“Marina,” he says, reaching for my face, his fingertips holding my chin until I’m looking at him. “Let me in. Let me be here for everything, all the good, all the bad. All your light and all your dark.”
I blink, keeping the tears at bay so far. Damn this man. He’s getting in. He’s getting under my skin like no oneeverhas before.
“Okay,” I whisper to him. “Let’s go.”
The corner of his mouth quirks in a soft smile. He nods. “Okay.”
We drive off and I program my father’s address into his phone so that the Waze app can tell him where to drive. I’m too all over the place right now to be of any help.
My father lives in a mobile home in Lancaster. It’s not close by any means and the longer we’re on the freeway, the more afraid I get.
“So run it by me,” Laz says. “I want to know what to expect and I think it will do you good to say it out loud.”
God, I would kill for a fucking Ativan right now.
