Page 99 of Bad at Love
I glance up at him. He’s looking down at me curiously. Maybe even nervously. Maybe I’m just imagining that.
“So…?”
“Right. Okay. This isn’t easy for me to say…”
His hand turns into a vice, clamping hard around mine.
I continue, “but I just wanted to know where we stand. With each other. Because yesterday when Naomi said you were my boyfriend, neither of us corrected her. So I was wondering if…that’s what you are? I mean, no pressure. I know we haven’t really discussed what happened after we had all the sex. And I don’t know if we’re still just friends. If we’re friends who are now sleeping together. Or if we’re something even…more…than that.”
Laz doesn’t say anything for a moment, comes to a stop. Closes his eyes and exhales through his lips.
Oh shit. Oh my god. Did I scare him off? Is he about to break up with me even though we’re not together?
I stiffen, bracing myself.
“What do you want?” he finally says, his voice low. He looks at me openly. “Do you want to be just friends? Do you want to continue sleeping together? Do you want me to be more?”
That’s so not fair, he just turned the whole question around on me.
“I’m afraid if I tell you what I want, you might not want the same thing.”
“Try me.”
I nod, swallow. “Okay.” I pause, absently watching an egret fly past because it’s easier to focus on that and tell the truth than look at him. “I just want you, Laz. I have…feelings for you. Big ones. And I can’t go back to just being your friend again. I’m sorry, really sorry, if that’s not what you were wanting from me and that I’ve ruined it all but I just…I want more of you. I want more sex. I want this, us walking together, you holding my hand. I want to date you, for real this time. Be with you. Be in a full-on romantic and physical and exclusive relationship with you.” I let out a burst of air, shake my shoulders and prepare to get my heart broken.
He grins at me, a big beautiful smile that melts me into a puddle.
“You sweet, sweet girl,” he murmurs, leaning down.
I tilt my head back, smile against his lips as they press against mine.
“So?” I ask him softly as he pulls back.
“I can’t do the friend thing anymore either,” he says, “even though you’re still my best one. And I don’t want to just fuck you, though I have to say, I love fucking you. Iwant you to be mine, through and through. Mine and only mine.”
“You’re sure?”
“Never been so sure of something in all my life,” he says to me. “And it feels bloody good.”
Bliss. This is pure bliss. This is sunshine in my veins, sunbursts in my heart. This is everything I’ve wanted to hear.
Almost. But I have no doubt, we’ll get there.
Won’t we?
“What are you doing later?” he asks me. “I’d invite you over to the apartment right now but it’s like Venice Beach up in there.”
“Why?”
“Scooby has a bunch of buskers over. I told him it was fine, as long as the fire breather stayed away from the curtains. I double-checked that we had a fire extinguisher just in case.”
“Well…” I say slowly. “Actually, I have plans and I was kind of hoping you’d come with me.”
“Where?”
I wince. “Out for lunch with my father and my aunt.”
“I’m glad to hear he’s doing better.”
