Page 96 of Bad at Love
“And it’s a maybe,” Jane says. “Where were you?”
“Me?” Marina points to herself. She blushes. “Oh, I was just doing my makeup. Had to really cake this shit on to cover up my hangover.”
“You weren’t even drunk last night,” Jane says.
Marina shrugs, a tiny smile on her lips. “Still felt like ass this morning. Must have been the champagne.”
I stare at Marina’s neck. The reason she was late wasbecause she had to whack on a lot of concealer to cover up the hickeys and marks I left on her neck. So in a way, she wasn’t lying.
“Oh, you feel like ass do you?” Naomi says, looking her up and down. “I don’t. Only Jane does. Wonder why.”
Jane frowns and then winces, as if the action hurt her brain. “What are you guys talking about?”
“Nothing much,” Naomi says. “Except you’re the only one who didn’t get laid last night.”
Marina stiffens. I laugh. Jane rolls her eyes.
“Oh, of course,” she says. “I should have figured something happened with you two.” She gestures to us with a dismissive wave of her hand before she sips her coffee.
“You’re not mad?” I ask. Not that it would matter but since Naomi gave me a lecture last night and threatened to cut my dick off, I thought Jane would lurch into overprotective friend mode as well.
“Mad?” she repeats. “I’m too hungover to be mad. No, listen. This needed to happen and I’m glad it finally did. If Marina had to lose her virginity to someone, I’m glad it was my stepbrother.” She pauses. “That still sounds so weird.”
“I’m glad it only sounds weird,” I tell her.
She looks across at Marina and grins. “I guess it’s my fault for giving you that condom.”
“What?” I ask. “Condom?”
Jane gave Marina a condom?
“I wanted her to be prepared. I’m not sure if you guys were trying to hide your attraction to each other over these years, but it was pretty obvious last night what was going to happen. Glad you got it over with.”
Not the best term to use.
“We got nothingover with, Jane. Don’t be snide.”
“I’m not beingsnide,” she says, mimicking my accent. “You know what I mean.” She looks at Naomi. “Let’s talk about the guy you screwed last night then since you didn’t come back into the room until five this morning.”
I’m grateful for the attention to go to Naomi now and enjoy the fact that we’re all looking at her like a bug under a microscope, but Jane’s comment has me bothered. As much as I’ve wanted Marina, as much as I’ve dreamed about finally being inside of her, feeling her from the inside, I didn’t get anything over with.
But, fuck. What ifshedid?
I look across at Marina. Even though Jane is badgering Naomi about her hook-up, Marina is watching me, her expression tentative.
Was that what Marina was doing with me? Did she sleep with me to finally get it “over with,” losing her virginity? Was I just a safe bet? Is that what she meant when she said she felt “safe” this morning?”
Marina is frowning at me now and I’m not sure what expression is showing up on my face. Fear, maybe. I guess that’s what happens when you sleep with your best friend and don’t have a discussion afterward to what any of it meant. It meant everything to me—it might have just been a stepping stone for her.
Oh fuck. What if this is just part of a lesson to her. The art of seduction. The very thing she asked me to teach her.
What if she’s going to take what she learned from me and use it on the next guy? After all, according to her, most of her problems came from the fact that she had no real physical experience with men. That she was so nervous about having sex with them, she’d freeze up. Now, now that doesn’t stand in her way anymore.
“Laz?” she asks quietly.
I need to hold it together. My mind is running awayfrom me and it’s not running to a nice spot. I know my own shortcomings, my own habits, and over-analyzing anything right now about our relationship isn’t going to be good for anyone.
“Sorry, I was thinking,” I tell her.
