Page 63 of Guiding Desire
“I really feel like we shouldn’t be here,” Orrey said.
“Strictly speaking, it’s suggested to access all these in their digital versions through the main library,” Col said.
“So we really aren’t supposed to be here.”
“Of course we are.”
“This is almost like Senlas’s collection,” Orrey said, approaching one of the shelves. He saw the rows of book spines under the thin cover, all perfectly maintained.Research Diaries: Indigenous Animal and Plant Species,one read.Comprehensive Geology,another.Settlement Options and Soil Conditionswas next toMitigation of Genetic Adaptation Due to Natural Stressors: What We Can Learn From the First Failed Seeding, whatever that meant.
“It’s nothing at all like Senny’s books,” Col said from farther away, his voice distorting as it echoed along the shelves. “Come over here.”
Orrey followed Col’s voice and found the other man facing a shelf. The plastic covers were like curtains, attached above. Col had moved them aside, had leaned his parasol against one of the shelves in order to pull out a large volume which he was now lowering on a pull-out tabletop set into the shelf itself.
“That’s a map,” Orrey said when he looked at the book. “Why have one printed?”
“They do that every year. Well, sometimes they skip one because it’s not a high-level protocol.” He turned a page, pointed. “Here’s Argentea. The Western Wall and the quick growth forest beyond it.” He went back to the first page, and Orrey saw how they were connected, going from one page to the next basically put one screen next to the other. “Tell me what you think that is.”
Orrey looked. Didn’t understand. “What is the scale on this? This can’t be right.” He reached past Col and turned the page back to the Western Wall. “That doesn’t make any sense. The only thing—the closest thing—in the west is Ferrea.”
“Correct.”
“Unless…is this a Wild Hunt settlement? I thought they didn’t do that.”
“Oh, the Wild Hunts. Half right. They will settle for a time. Basically, they move with the seasons because they believe that a certain space during a certain season will give them more strength.”
Orrey looked at Col’s mismatched eyes. “How do you know that?”
“It’s how one of them explained it to me.”
Everything stopped. Orrey heard blood rush in his ears. “What did you just say?”
Col sighed. “Several generations ago, there was a disagreement. On how to run things, I guess. On how to live. That was around the time when Wilan became a hero, the founder and first Guardian of the Covenant. Anyway, not everyone agreed with him and his stance that the Wild Hunts should be eradicated as a failed experiment. Not everyone was willing to follow Wilan.” Col pointed at the map. “That’s where their descendants live, of those people who disagreed. They move too, on occasion. I’m not actually sure I come from there, but I do come from one of those human settlements. The settlements outside those walls we protect.”
“I don’t understand. You can’t be—you’re normal. They say Hounds have yellow eyes and pointed ears.”
“They do, but I’m not a Hound. I’m a Conduit. Who was born outside the walls.”
“Outside the—but there isn’t—it’s lethal! You’d have been killed!”
Col shrugged, pointed again. “This is satellite imagery. I mean, I think that could be a graveyard, but I’m sure they only have a normal number of deaths.”
“Is this funny to you? Is this a joke? Wait. This isn’t real, is it?”
“I was born outside the walls. I had a disease—I’m not sure. Something genetic that couldn’t be treated outside. My family knew I wouldn’t survive it, but they also knew I was a Conduit.
“I was little, so I don’t remember every detail, but I do remember them arguing a lot, and in the end, my mother wrapped me in a warm coat. It was cold. She had snow in her hair, and the crystals melted when I breathed on them.” A faraway look settled on his face. “The smell of the snow, I remember that, but not how my mother smelled.
“She took me to where she knew there were Guardians. We’re not normally supposed to take people in, but when it’s a Conduit or a Guardian, it’s an easy exception. My mom hugged me. She told me she loved me and to be good, to be happy behind the city walls. I never saw her again.”
Orrey stepped back, knocking Col’s parasol over with his heel in the process. “Why are you telling me this?” He gestured at the shelves all around them. “We aren’t supposed to know all this, right? You said someone with secrets would build something like this. You basically told me.”
Col turned to face Orrey, putting a hand on his hip. “Regulars don’t know. Guardians have to, because when you go outside the walls, well, you might run into a mother who begs you to take in her sick child.
“And in addition to that, there are always drops of medicine.” Col looked off to the side. “The Op-AI decided you would be going on one of those. My best guess is, it needs to see how you will react, whether you’ll manage to keep it together, or whether you’ll upset a team that works really well.” He picked up his parasol, leaned it against the shelf opposite them. “I’m telling you because I care about Senlas. I didn’t have anyone before he came here, and now I have Vin and Taros and Karmine. Senlas loves you. He wants you to be okay, so that’s what I want as well.”
“He loves me? You mean he imprinted on me. That’s not the same.”
Col shook his head. “No, I mean he loves you. He hasn’t realized it yet. But Senny gets this way when he meets a person he lets in. I call it love, but you can call it whatever you want. Either way, he doesn’t want you hurt, and I don’t want you hurt.”
