Page 34 of A Subtle Scar
“Apologies, he doesn’t mean that. He’s just going through stuff,” I told the poor human. “Lower your voice, you ass, because if they ban us, we’ll have to stand on the sidewalk like idiots in order to watch Chandler’s building, and I prefer it in here.”
Hermes lifted his head off the table and beamed a smile at the waiter. “Sorry!” Then he went back to sulking. “Happy?”
I looked at the waiter. He seemed fine with the apology. “Sure.”
“Ronny, why do I want him so much?”
I snorted. “If I knew that, I’d make it stop, because I want him more.”
“Ah, you can’t know that. Look how sad I am.” He pointed at himself. Really, this was pathetic.
I massaged the bridge of my nose. The waiter came over and left the lemon matcha, which I pushed over to Hermes. “Here, have that. It’s decent.”
“That’s so sweet of you. Thank you, Ronny,” Hermes said. He lifted his head enough to sip. “This is nice. Do you think I messed up? When I offered to show him my cock? It’s a nice cock though, right? You’ve seen it. It’s nice, right?”
Last night, we’d discussed what human things a human like Chandler might enjoy and how we could get rid of the herb witch. That had been more fun. Hermes whining wasn’t something I would be able to endure for long.
I couldn’t be entirely sure Hermes was being genuine, but in all the time I’d known him—and that was a long time—he’d never acted like this. Like a swaggering ass, sure, all the time. Wallowing in unrequited love, just like the courtly poets of not so long ago? I’d never seen that on Hermes. It was not a good look.
I sighed and hoped I wouldn’t regret what I was about to say next.
“Rather than share him, maybe it will be easier to win Chandler if he can have and keep both of us as the prize,” I said.
Hermes perked up. “What are you suggesting?”
A good question. WhatwasI suggesting, exactly? “I don’t have a precise plan, but…I think he has a hard shell, yet how could he really resist if the both of us went out of our ways to spoil him, dote on him? And what you said last night, maybe he does look at you and sees a protector he’s always longed for. Maybe it wouldn’t be fair if he can only get that every other day.”
Hermes lifted his head off the table. “You mean we…huh. I had never considered that. I supposed I could laud your tresses in front of him.” He sighed. “And your penchant for high heels.”
“I barely go above two inches, and that’s hardly high, but I would appreciate that.”
Hermes smiled at me. Fuck. He had a nice smile, the asshole. His right cheek dimpled under that smile. “That’s our new agreement then. We’ll stand united to win our human.”
Hermes reached out a hand, and I shook. “He has a name, and we’re not calling him ‘our human.’”
Hermes snorted. “Oh, fine. But he didn’t like being called ‘lover,’ and he is human.”
“I suppose.”
Movement from the street made us both look just as Chandler drove his car out of the garage below the building.
“We need to follow him,” Hermes said and held out his hand again. “I’ll teleport us. Oh, but grab your bubble tea.”
“Fine,” I said and took my cup in hand. I’d have preferred the bus, but for now, it was probably better to let Hermes believe he was the salt of the earth and preferable to public transport.
Hermes made five teleportation jumps. He followed Chandler’s car while staying out of the way, sure, but this was not the way to travel.
“Stop!” I said, finally, and took a sip of my bubble tea to calm down.
Hermes looked at me, confused. “Why? You need to pee or something?”
“No, but this suck—seems not to be the best way to follow him. You barely jump two blocks each time.”
Hermes shrugged and drank some of his own tea. “As I said, his magic isn’t the easiest to follow, so that means more stops.”
“Let’s just take the bus,” I said, summoned my magic, and opened a vortex.
The bus got there fast, but Hermes eyed it when it stopped and the door opened.
