Page 30 of A Subtle Scar
“There isn’t—what the fuck is happening?” I asked.
Hermes growled again as he circled toward my kitchen. I followed his eye line to the cardboard container of doughnuts I’d brought home from the market but hadn’t put away.
“That witch enchanted him,” Hermes said, reaching for the doughnuts.
“Oh, no,” Charon said and rubbed my back. “You poor darling. We’ll make it better.”
Hermes growled again, and I felt him do something to my doughnuts. I’d have to check, but I had a suspicion that all the nice hallucinogenic glaze was just plain sugar now. “Iwill make it better. It’s Tuesday, so I get to make it better. Come out, you human witch!” Hermes hollered. “Show yourself, and I might be merciful.”
“Technically, it’s Wednesday. It’s past midnight, and we specified the time zone on the third napkin.”
“Screw the time zone,” Hermes said and stomped into my bedroom. “Where is he? And why hasn’t the bed been used?”
I discharged my offensive magic at Charon, who was still stroking me. I wasn’t surprised but still a little disappointed when all my magic did was sizzle across his straight black hair as purple sparks.
“Stop this bullshit,” I said. “There is no one here.”
Hermes poked his head out of my bedroom. “I checked under the bed and in the closet. There isn’t anyone there.”
“I just said that. You two dunderheads are actively breaking into my apartment.”
“You opened the door to us, and we are here to help. And make it all better,” Charon crooned. Then he stroked down my back again. What the fuck?
Hermes, meanwhile, was going room to room, and I decided getting my back stroked wasn’t the most effective thing to do in this situation, so I went after Hermes, grabbed him by the arm.
And my oh my, those were arms. Hermes stopped but looked at my hand on him with what I could only describe as deep confusion. “I said, there is no one here.”
Charon sighed audibly. “I will do that room.”
More graceful than Hermes, Charon went past him into my office. I saw him open anything that was remotely person-sized before he came back out again.
“There is no one in there,” the ferryman said.
“I said that. Do you see me? Did I die in my sleep and turn into a ghost?” I asked, now really going into agitated mode. I didn’t do agitated.
The immortals exchanged a look, then they both looked at me.
Hermes spoke first. “Listen, baby, I don’t know how to tell you this, but ghosts aren’t real, and you have clearly been enchanted by that herb witch. Some spells can make you think things are real even though they are not. Like love. Or ghosts.”
My mouth fell open again. “I was being sarcastic. I haven’t been enchanted, I know ghosts aren’t real, and I’m decidedly not in love. I do, however, want to go back to sleep, with you two on the other side of that door.” I pointed. With one hand. With the other, I was still holding on to Hermes.
The two of them exchanged another look.
“We should stay. And observe you to make sure you really aren’t under a spell,” Hermes said.
“Oh,Iwill stay, because it is Wednesday,” Charon said.
“Can’t you see that?” Hermes indicated my hand on his biceps. “He’s clearly craving my nearness. The strength and comfort of a manly protector.”
I dropped my hand. Hermes narrowed his eyes at me. Charon giggled.
“It is the first night, so if anything, we should both put him to bed,” Hermes ground out.
And at that point, I just couldn’t help it anymore. “Neither one of you is putting me to bed. Both of you are leaving now. If you want a threesome, I’ll consider it, but not right now, because honestly? Barging in here is crossing every fucking boundary there is.”
“We came to help,” Hermes grumbled. “And something isn’t right. You have not been to bed. Or…”
Charon stepped around the broader immortal. “Darling, have you been sleeping on the couch?” Charon asked. He asked it very softly. It wasthattone, the one people used when they thought you were damaged so badly that you might break, and they didn’t want to have to clean up the shards.
