Page 39 of Grind
He’d been thinking a lot about it while turning the shed into sawdust and splinters.
Was he cheap or frugal? Ezra probably thought it was the former, and Frank could see how for a guy like him that would be a major turn-off. But on a deeper level, the conversation forced him to confront the reality that Sally had passed four years ago, and there was no reason for him to forgo the damn avocado toast if he wished to have one.
He usually didn’t, but maybe he could allow himself a few new items of clothing, or to get the beer he liked most regardless of whether it was on sale. But old habits died hard, and as he stopped in front of the house and saw the faint flickering of the television screen through the window, his shoulders dropped. The last thing he needed was a confrontation with Ezra.
Maybe he was just lonely? Maybe he should start going on dates with other criminals and find someone who wouldn’t mind that he disposed of bodies for a living? Too bad the idea of dipping body parts in acid together didn't feel all that romantic.
What he wanted was a handsome man to pamper and please. But he was afraid to even dare dip histoeinto the Ezra waters again, because they weren’t clear anymore. They were whitewater. Rapid, dangerous, and oh so beautiful, and if Frank wasn’t careful, he could break his neck traversing them. Or his heart.
Ezra’s offer was tempting, but he knew himself enough to know that without the boundaries of their former situation, he might fall for Ezra the moment he let his guard down. If they spent lots of time together, borders between sex and intimacy might end up too blurry for him to discern.
The light was off, but the faint glow of the screen showing a silent movie featuring a group of witches revealed Ezra lying on the sofa under Frank’s old woolen blanket. At peace, without the fear of Paul going after him, he looked serene like a little kitten stretched out by the fire.
At times, he would talk in his sleep, something the thin walls couldn’t hide from Frank. Each night Frank worried Ezra might be trapped in a nightmare, so he waited out any babbling, just to make sure Ezra didn’t need to be comforted. It had been a blessing that he didn’t, because Ezra’s bed might suck Frank in like quicksand.
He left the TV on and went to the bathroom on tiptoes, eager to wash off the grime of the day. He’d only had a protein bar while out and about, but since he didn’t want to wake Ezra, the plan was to make a dash for the master bedroom and hide there in hopes that Ezra’s insistent need to prod at him would pass.
It would be better that way, and hopefully, with time, their relationship could stop causing all this tension.
The warm water trickling down his body felt almost like caressing fingers, and he hated himself for imagining Ezra with him. This needed to stop.
So he tortured himself with icy water, and once that got his erection down, he wiped himself off, wrapped the towel around his hips, and stepped out into the hallway.
He knew this wasn’t the end of his day when he spotted Ezra standing in the middle of the living room, his stare as level as his stance.
“We need to talk,” he said, still in the pants that so deliciously showcased his ass.
Frank sighed, trapped in the towel barely concealing his nudity. “Do we though? You shouldn’t have gotten up. We can chat tomorrow.”
But Ezra’s eyes glistened with a murderous edge, so Frank stepped into the living room despite knowing he might end up hurt.
Ezra invaded his personal space and dug his index finger into Frank’s chest, his face twisted in a scowl reminiscent of the witches performing devil-worship on the TV screen that should have been replaced long ago.
“You left for hours, without letting me know what was up. I was worried! And that despite the fact that you’re clearly just avoiding me,” Ezra roared in a voice Frank hadn’t heard him use before. There was crackling fire in his gaze now, and not just the glowing embers of lust.
Frank needed to hold the towel in place, so he only spread one arm to the side. Maybe it was time to put his cards on the table. “Because your presence is difficult for me! You’re sending mixed messages. Smiling at me, touching my arm, offering massages… How am I supposed to keep our situation clean when you keep doing that? I’m only a man!”
Ezra covered his face with both hands. “‘Mixed messages’? How much clearer do you want me to be? I want you tofuckme. There. Have it your way, if you want me to humiliate myself by throwing myself at you like some drunk slut. I’ve had enough of this! And don’t you shove yourrulesin my face, okay?” he challenged Frank, showing him air quotes.
Frank stared at him in complete confusion. Was he hearing this right? A flush wormed its way up his body, and his brain begged to be turned off so that his dick could do the talking. “Is this… are you saying you need money? For the trip in the future?” he asked carefully.
Ezra took a raspy breath, meeting Frank’s gaze after shaking his sleep-ruffled hair. “I’m going to kill you. It’s like you don’t want to listen. You walk around like Hercules in his prime, making me horny all day long, and now Iwantyour dick hard for me, okay? Or did something change and you don’t want me anymore?” he asked, placing both hands on his chest as vulnerability replaced some of the anger in his eyes, creating an intoxicating mixture that drew Frank in as if he were a moth following Ezra’s light.
Frank gave up. He let go of the towel, letting it drop to the floor. “Of course I want you. I’m literally getting a boner while you yell at me. Being around you and not being able to fuck you isunbearable!”
Ezra’s gaze dropped to Frank’s half-hard dick, and he inhaled, his mouth dropping open in an oddly innocent expression. “For me too. I need you so damn much,” he said and stepped close, pulling on Frank’s head so their lips could meet in the middle.
It was like jumping into the fire, but the flames didn’t hurt Frank. They consumed him. He closed his arms around the slender yet toned body occupying all of his wet dreams.
His hands made their way to Ezra’s waist, then to his back, and lower, until he got to squeeze that perfect ass. At the same time Ezra kissed him so intensely Frank was getting dizzy. His tongue couldn’t stroke Ezra’s fast enough, and he tugged Ezra closer, until he could press his groin against Ezra’s stomach.
The absolute bliss of that feeling made his dick twitch against that pristine skin. Desire ran wild in his blood, and he was about to pick Ezra up and carry him to the bedroom when Ezra stepped back, tugging on Frank’s arms. His cheeks were red. His eyes glowed, and even his white teeth shone as if the boy were thirsting for Frank’s blood.
He would be a willing victim to more.
“Here. Sit,” Ezra said, out of breath as he shoved Frank toward the sofa.
Breathless as he landed, Frank watched Ezra remove his pants. “I don’t know what we are…” he muttered even though all he could focus on was Ezra’s naked body, perfect like the pictures of hot men in an underwear ad.
