Page 16 of Grind
Fuck.
“Did I do something wrong?” Frank stuffed his mouth with food, but he could barely sense the flavor, even though the chicken was tender, and the salad dressing—tasty as ever.
“No, of course not,” Ezra said, but his foot left its usual place alongside Frank’s. “It’s just that—”
The room seemed to darken as Frank berated himself for every dumb choice he’d made. He knew other men offered Ezra gifts, even very expensive ones, so he assumed it wasn’t anything rule-breaking, especially that he’d previously brought him modest, more normal presents that had been eagerly accepted. Was this about the confession from moments ago?
His head overheated at the thought that maybe, just maybe, Ezra had wanted to express some deeper affection to him but couldn’t do it because of the nature of their relationship, and the expensive gift ruined it all by reminding him that they were in fact a client and an escort.
Then again, if Ezra had real feelings for Frank, it would change everything. Frank had become his regular because their meetings offered him a bit of clean fun that wasn’t in any way connected to his job or real life, but he couldn’t deny the fact that the man sitting across from him had crawled way too deep under his skin than he should have. But if they both wanted to change the nature of their connection many issues stood in the way. It wasn’t as if Ezra could live in the dump Frank called home, and Frank wasn’t sure how he felt about investing his feelings in someone who slept with other people, even if it was for work. But if dating Ezra for real was an option, Frank could make some arrangements. Though they’d need to first have a conversations about Ezra’s future without the boundaries of privacy an escort had the right to expect. They’d need to know each other out of this bubble.
“I’m moving to California.”
Frank’s thoughts came to a halt, crashing into a massive pile of broken sentences and emotions. He looked up at Ezra, who’d rested both his hands in his lap and watched him with an expression that was almost unnaturally blank.
The chicken tasted so bitter Frank put down the fork.
Happy. Fucking. Birthday to me.
Of course Ezra had other plans. Plans that didn’t involve Frank. And in that new place, he’d probably find much wealthier clients, with great connections.
Frank grunted a “hm” and glanced at the food to get his bearings. The seconds ticking away on the Rolex weren’t helping him gather his thoughts.
“Fuck. Sucks for me, but… I guess you’ve got something waiting for you there?” Or someone. It’s probably someone. Someone with real money.
Ezra’s inhale sounded strained. “Yes. For a while now, I’ve been wanting to... raise my profile. It was a decision between New York, Las Vegas, and LA, and I like the beach so...” Drifting off, he picked up the watch again. “I wanted to tell you in the morning but this gift—you needed to know now.”
“It’s okay. You need to do what you need to do. Consider it a bonus for a great year.” Frank gave Ezra a fake smile, but he doubted he was as good of an actor as Ezra. He drank half his wine in one go, but that wasn’t enough to soothe the burn inside. “You’ll fit right in there with your handsome face.”
“Thank you,” Ezra said, staring at his barely touched plate. “You are incredibly generous.”
“Just as you were with your time. Never kicked me out when I stalled in the morning.” He kicked Ezra’s foot gently, because he did seem down about this, and despite the hole opening up in Frank’s chest, all he could think of was cheering up the handsome man who’d given him so many joyful moments.
“I meant what I said earlier. Every two weeks, I looked forward to your visits,” Ezra said, playing with the watch before closing it on his wrist. The gold enhanced the olive shade of his skin, making a part of Frank long for touch. He wished to be the one grabbing Ezra’s hand and not letting go.
But affection wasn’t, and couldn’t be, about force. And what they shared had always been about good, clean fun anyway.
He’d be going back to problems that were much easier to deal with, like finding a good spot for hiding bodies until they dissolved in acid.
He drank the rest of his wine and extended his hand over the table. When he enclosed Ezra’s elegant fingers in his, his heart did some kind of melty shit he didn’t want to analyze. “I never thought I’d have the chance to spend time with a guy like you.” Let alone fuck him. “You made the first year of my forties fantastic. Just look at yourself. You’ll have the best time in California. And if you’re ever back in the area and feel like slumming it, you’ve got my number.” He winked for good measure, even though he felt anything but joyful.
Ezra’s eyes seemed to have lost some of their shine, but he rubbed the inside of Frank’s wrist. “I will,” he said in a tone that did not sound like an empty promise. Rising from his seat, he squeezed Frank’s hand harder and moved around the table until he stood right next to him. “And if you are ever in California, let me know too. I mean that.”
Frank lost his breath when Ezra leaned against him, draping his free arm on his shoulders. He sighed and nodded even though that wasn’t likely to happen. He could leave the running of things to Shane if Wreck & Repair was just about rusty cars and disused fridges, but since it was not, he couldn’t afford a lengthy vacation.
After a second of hesitation he kissed Ezra’s hand, then pulled him into his lap. He had to push the chair away from the table, and the food was getting cold, but as much as he loved Ezra’s cooking, it couldn’t hold a candle to his lips.
They opened without hesitation, and as Ezra went limp in Frank’s arms, uttering the softest of gasps, the need to have him close became an itch that had to be scratched.
Their tongues clashed, and while Ezra was coaxing Frank into a deeper kiss rather than fighting for dominance, it fueled a primal need that sent adrenaline rushing into every cell in Frank’s body. The cool fabric covering Ezra’s legs was so thin one could sense the body hair underneath, and as he cupped the back of Frank’s head and changed position to straddle his lap, cupping his ass felt like the answer to the hollow feeling inside Frank.
He could never trulyhavehim, but he could beinsidehim at least one more time, to feel him in that raw form.
Could Ezra sense that need? Just tonight, he wanted to believe that he already missed Frank the way Frank missed him.
This desire was like a wave rolling over Frank and leaving him breathless. He grabbed Ezra’s ass and lifted him with ease, and his lover had to understand him without words because he blew out the candle, then reached back and pushed away the dishes, making space in the middle of the table right before Frank set him down. As soon as he had the support of wood under him, he leaned forward and rubbed his face against the crook of Frank’s neck, kissing it so softly it felt like being brushed by the wings of a butterfly.
Frank had never been a poetic guy, always grounded in the bleak reality of life, catching glimpses of pleasure where he could, but around Ezra… yeah, he thought of butterflies, of his lover's skin being like rose petals, and compared his eyes to amber, which might hold his reflection forever. Because Ezra would be taking a piece of Frank to California even if he didn’t know it yet.
