Page 65 of Wanted
“I made them. And not from mix. It’s all from flour, milk, and stuff,” Knox informed him breathlessly as his arm snuck its way behind Liv’s back.
Liv’s stomach gave a loud grumble that made them both laugh. Having such a good appetite after the kind of dream Liv just had felt almost obscene. A part of him worried it meant he wasn’t a good person.
“I had no idea you knew how to do that.”
Knox grinned, grabbing his plate. “Ezra taught me. But I did all the cooking myself. I mean, he fried the bacon, but that’s easy. I just… we’ve had a rough time. I wanted to treat you.” He glanced at Liv as if he were unsure of something, and now that Liv saw him in this new light of fuckable, he couldn’t help but think Knox was as sweet as that maple syrup.
So maybe it was a good thing he’d stepped in and saved him, no matter the cost?
“Wow, that’s… unexpected. But nice,” he added right away as his chest bloomed with warmth.
Knox filled his mouth like a hamster but managed to somehow still appear thoughtful. “Do you think it’s weird? That I wanted to cook for you? I just feel you… deserve the best shit.”
Liv swallowed a fluffy morsel with salty bacon and syrup. It was absolute heaven, and not something he’d ever expected from Knox who’d so far only proven himself to be the King of Barbeque. He wasn’t sure what to answer without accidentally insulting him.
“It’s just… not something you ever did for me. No one has, really. Just my mom, when she’s around, or girlfriends,” he muttered, stroking Knox’s back when a flash of discomfort passed over his face.
Knox swallowed another portion of food, but didn’t shy away from looking right into Liv’s eyes. “Yeah, but you said it yourself, it’s just us now. I want you to get what you need. I want… to take care of you. Whether it’s breakfast, or fighting the zombies in your nightmares.” He smiled and leaned in for a quick, maple syrup-sticky kiss.
Liv gradually relaxed into his embrace, and his heart calmed down too, but even the sweetness of syrup couldn’t chase away the ghost of Vlad. He might just haunt Liv forever, beating him to death as Knox watches, bleeding out.
But faced with Knox’s care, it was easier to ignore the shadows, no matter how baffling this new tenderness was. Throughout Liv’s life, he’d been the one to take care of people. Bringing Dad cigarettes and booze when he didn’t feel like getting up after a bender. Sending Mom cash and letting her stay on the couch when she appeared at the door out of nowhere, after months of silence. Making sure Knox was fed and took his meds. Taking care of all his many girlfriends and their problems.
He’d been cooked for sometimes, yes, but usually it felt like the thing to do, or an excuse to keep him for longer. This? Knox’s uncertain smiles and curious glances told him that he really didwant to make sure Liv was okay and make him feel good first thing in the morning. Used to constant rivalry between men, Liv did not expect this kind of care from another dude, and it confused him as much as it pleased him.
After all, Knox was right—they were in this together, and it wasn’t like Liv could get drunk, eat some pussy at one of the neighboring trailers and then pour out his soul to a woman who wouldn’t remember any of it the next day anyway.
And Knox was not his opponent. The two of them were on the same team, so maybe if they’d changed their relationship, other rules were not immovable either?
Lost in thought, Liv ate the pancakes as words spun in his head.
“Maybe we could…” Knox started between one bite and another. “Think about dividing who likes to do what, or something. I dunno.”
Dividing what?
Liv’s thoughts were too much of a mess to follow that abstract train of thought as Vlad grew in his head, this time breaking it from the inside.
“I was actually dreaming about that night when I—” He stalled, seeking Knox’s gaze as dread settled in again, convincing him he’d never again be free of what had happened.
Knox’s attention was on him in an instant, and he scooted closer. “Oh. Okay…” He put his hand on Liv’s knee in silent support.
Liv sighed, regretting that he hadn’t just let it go. “Look, I don’t want you to be my agony aunt. It’s fine.”
Knox squeezed his knee. “No. Tell me. That night was… It was a fucking shitshow. I still think about it too. What was the dream?”
Liv watched him, increasingly tense, but when Knox didn’t falter, he exhaled and took a large gulp of coffee. “I killed youinstead of Vlad, and I wanted to go to you, but then he appears and beats me to death. The end,” he said and raised the cup, as if he were toasting. “Kinda fucked up.”
But Knox put away his plate and pushed closer to hug him, wrapping his arms under Liv’s. It was as if the sex had opened a door to a kind of intimacy they’d never shared before, and it was both unnerving and soothing.
“Liv… I’m so sorry. If I had a dream about you dying I’d probably, like, throw up.” He laughed to lighten the mood, but never let go of Liv. His arms were warm and somehow both firm and soft, inviting him to relax as the scent of the breakfast reminded Liv that reality, at least in this moment, was quite sweet.
“Yeah, but you’re alive, and Vlad really is dead, and whenever I have this dream, I wake up wondering if I could have done something differently, you know? Just knocked him out instead of... what I did.”
Knox sighed and kissed his ear, sending a shiver all the way to Liv’s heart. “He was waving that machete around. He’d already cut me by then. The next slash could have been worse. And still, you didn’t stab him, you pushed him. That could have ended in many different ways. But it is what it is. He was a piece of shit and he doesn’t deserve the space in your mind.”
“He also had a family, and they lost him. Can they make it without him?” Liv mumbled, melting into Knox’s arms. He didn’t like sharing his worries or negative feelings with Knox, who had a heart issue and too many things on his plate to bother with Liv’s petty bullshit. But for once he decided to let go, because the burden in his heart didn’t feel any lighter than it had been as they sunk the body in the reservoir.
Knox pulled back enough to meet his eyes. Was this really something Liv could have on top of getting to fuck the prettiest guy he knew? All this care and comfort?
