Page 79 of Wanted
The street lights danced around Liv as he shook his head and opened his jaw to relieve the tension on its side. That was… quite a punch.
He and Knox had gotten into physical altercations in the past, but now that he’d tastedthisblow, he was starting to suspect Knox had always been holding back.
A woman skirted off the pavement and into the road, passing them at a distance, as if she worried violence might be unleashed on her next. Just fucking great.
“I deserved that,” Liv mumbled, trying to pick himself up, but he lost balance and collapsed to his knees in front of Knox.
“You’re fine. Get up,” Knox snarled at him. “You don’t want your future girlfriend seeing you like this.”
“What—no, it’s not like that, Knox. That’s the whole point. I don’t want to date anyone,” he said, getting back to his feet. The ground and the sky were back in place, and he could focus on the conversation, looking straight into Knox’s eyes. “It’s just a bit of flirting.”
Knox’s nostrils flared, and he shoved at Liv’s chest. “You don’t want to date? You’re literallyona date, so what the fuck are you saying?”
“I don’t want to date girls. See, this is perfect, because there will be no one trying to put a wedge between us. So yeah, I shouldn’t have done that in your presence. I’m just not used to this.”
Knox stared at him as if Liv had grown two heads. Then pushed him again. “Not used to what? Not having pussy ontap? Do you hear yourself? What do you think this is? You were literally inside me half an hour ago!”
Liv didn’t move, withstanding the firm shove. In the glow of the colorful lights draped in the nearest shop window, Knox’s face almost had a softness to it, despite the fury burning in his eyes. “Yeah, but we’re not acouple-couple. I didn’t think you’d get this mad.”
For a moment Knox stood still, staring at him. The hurt was painted all over his face. Did he… think they were? Maybe because he was gay, he saw this differently? But they’d need to talk about that. And what…? Would that mean a forever with Knox? It was something Liv had always entertained as the perfect end game, but never took into account it would mean not sleeping with women. Ever again.
“What are we then? Pals? Bros? Comrades who suck each other’s dicks?” Knox raised his voice, no longer caring to keep their sexuality on the down low.
Liv looked around, but the few people he could see skittered away, not wanting any part in their spat. Good, because the last thing they needed was someone trying to add more fuel to Knox’s fire.
The truth was Liv could have started the talk about their changing relationship, but out in the junkyard, away from women and stuck in a fishbowl with only gay men, he hadn’t given much thought to what happened.
And maybe he should have.
“I… don’t know. We haven’t defined anything.”
This time, Liv saw the fire in Knox’s eyes and knew it meant a punch coming, so he blocked it to protect his face. He still got the next one in the stomach, but that one hurt less.
“Fucking fight me, you asshole! If you didn’t want me, you shouldn't have humped my leg like a horny dog! But no! You always have to take everything, even if you don’t really want it.Like you did with Amanda, or how you made me leave you half a pizza, but then didn’t eat it! Am I that cold fucking pizza now?”
“What pizza? You’re not making any sense, and I didn’t do this on purpose,” Liv started, but his confidence dwindled when Knox started blinking all too frequently despite his eyes throwing daggers.Thiswas the last thing he wanted to do. He fucking loved Knox and would have rather cut off his finger than hurt him, but he couldn’t turn back time. “Let’s talk about this at home, okay?”
“No! Let’snot! There’s nothing to say here. I thought you were my boyfriend, and now I find out I’m just a convenient fuck to pass the time. You always did this to girls. I don’t know why I thought I’d be special.” Knox shook his head, and the fact that he took a step back was somehow more hurtful than another punch would have been.
Did he think there was nothing left to fight for? Over some girl whose name Liv didn’t know? Whose number was more of a trophy than anything else?
“Knox, wait,” he said, going after him right away as panic settled deep in his chest, because he couldn’t imagine his world without Knox. While this clash of expectations came as a surprise (even though it maybe shouldn’t have) he needed to dosomethingto mend things. But with Knox firing all those words at him, he couldn’t quite keep up with his own thoughts.
“I just didn’t expect this. You know I hook up all the time, and you never said anything about wanting more. But youarespecial, because you’re my best man.”
"‘Best man’? As in, at your future wedding? Will you want a quick blowjob before or after the ceremony?" Knox shook his head, stopping in front of the parking lot, where the light of a nearby diner showed how red his eyes were. "You're out of your fucking mind! I wish you never fucking kissed me! It’s all a fucking game to you.”
That hurt way more than the punch had, but Liv followed him and tried to grab his hand, only vaguely noticing the police car parked outside the diner. The cops were likely getting their food. And why the fuck was it so hard to put his thoughts into words for once?
“That’s the whole point. I don’t want to live with some girlfriend who’s gonna be angry that I spend most of my time with you. You are—” He stalled, watching Knox piercing him with a death glare that made his lungs sluggish. He could barely breathe under the scrutiny of that punishing gaze. “You are the most important person in my life.”
“Then you shouldn’t havefuckedme!” Knox roared and shoved him back so hard Liv fell back on the hood of the car behind him.
Liv hissed, shaking his head, because he could see figures approaching the windows of the diner as the patrons became aware of what was going on in the parking lot. “Well, you needed that, and don’t deny it. And I really fucking like doing it. It’s not a crime, and it doesn’t mean I don’t care.”
He was trying to make sense of everything, but going by Knox’s expression, he’d just taken the safety pin out of a grenade inside Knox’s chest.
“You have no idea what I need!” His hands were on the front of Liv’s jacket, and he pulled Liv forward, just to shove him back against the car. Liv grabbed Knox’s wrists to try and stop this madness.
